Rejection Trials

I felt nothing

I was glad that Arnold walked relatively smoothly, but my whole body was stiff. I couldn’t feel the breeze or the air at all really. It was hard to even tell if I was upside down or right side up. I couldn’t feel any fabric or skin. I was just rocking. I wonder how much worse Bel it because Virgil is a big dude always lumbering along. The thought made me happy. Though I wish it was me he was riding. Oh no, I should not be left alone with my thoughts like this. I wonder where Steve is.

I can’t wait to get this over with. Why am I suddenly feeling nervous? That isn’t a feeling I have often, so it is a bit unfamiliar for me. What am I going to do with myself? Bel’s behavior since I returned has been odd to say the least. I can’t tell what he is like and what is just the mating season urges.

Sometimes it feels like he genuinely wants me to be his mate and Luna even. Then I remember how cruel he was in school. He was just as mean as everyone else. Keeping away from me like I am some kind of plague. Whispering about me. He was even bold enough to throw things at me and slap me on occasion, I guess, to prove he wasn’t scared of the hellhound. Gosh, he is annoying. I keep replaying all the times I have cursed him under my breath. I keep replaying instances of him with girls and especially with Helena. He probably wants to get me out of the way so he can go back to his regular routine with her.

In fact, the Belvedere I know is cunning and probably planning some elaborate joke on me. He wanted to get back at me for embarrassing him in front of his pack when we were in school. How dare I declare him my mate. The look on his face after he smacked my hand out of the way after my accusation. He looked so appalled he couldn’t even speak. He didn’t even follow me or try and talk privately about it. That is right. I must be vigilant and not fall into the effects of lust and mating urges. Belvedere is enemy number one.

Suddenly, the blindfold and collar were removed, and I was lying on the dirt in the middle of nowhere. It was too bright my eyes couldn’t adjust to the light. When I went to grab my glasses, I realized I had no pack anymore. I started hyperventilating, not being able to see all my other senses start going haywire. Just as I started feeling lightheaded from the overstimulation, I felt the warmest touch cover my eyes.

The warmth spread down my body. Then I could only hear his heart beat. I could only smell his scent. It was so familiar to me. Belvedere’s voice gently came into my ears.

“I got you.” was all he had to say, and my whole world was snapped back to life. He wrapped cloth around my eyes. “I can’t find the blindfolds, so my shirt will have to do until the sun goes down, ok?” Bel reassured me.

“What is going on?” I managed to say. My mouth felt dry and tender.

“Would you believe me if I said I don’t know?” he said.

“This is no time for your sparkling personality, Bel.” I said, feeling the ground beneath us. It felt like compacted dirt but no trees or grass.

“You called me Bel.” He whispered in my ear while grazing his lips over the lobe, making me lose my balance and tip over a bit. “We seem to be in a deforested area. There is nothing around for miles but dirt and dead tree stumps.” I let my body fully lie on the dirt. As I wiggle my body to make a small indentation in the ground, I hear Bel gasp.

“I don’t think now is the time for a little nap love,” he said, leaning down over me. I can see his shadowed outline through the blindfold.

“Well, I am of no help until nightfall, so we have to wait anyway,” I say, trying to get comfortable.

“How can you be so relaxed when you can’t see, don’t know where you are, and you don’t know who or what is out there?” he said, pacing around.

“Why should I be afraid my mate is with me?” I tried to sound sarcastic, but it came out a little too sincere sounding. He didn’t respond, but I could almost sense his stupid smug face. Instead, he seemed to lay beside me in his wolf form like a much-needed pillow. It really is nice having my mate with me. It is my last thought before falling asleep.

I woke to Bel’s wolf nuzzling my head. I looked into his eyes. They were the yellowest eyes I’ve ever seen. Yellow eyes are the sign of an alpha wolf and are supposed to strike fear, but they were so mesmerizing. Of course, they are my mate. Once I looked away from his gaze, I noticed I was almost fully engulfed by a dark cloud. It was emanating from the wolf, whose deep grey fur seemed to have a smoke-like pattern throughout.

“Why is the smoke not choking me?” I inquired. Reaching my hand out before thinking it through. Touching his fur is what I imagine touching a cloud is like. Soft and airy. Then my hand was touching the bare chest of a man I was getting to know a little too well.

“Do you want me to choke you little mate?” He smirked. Still, in all his glory I might add.

“Put your clothes on.” I gasped, turning around to keep myself from peeking. If I wasn’t lost and covered in dirt, I would have no excuse. I would have to take my mate at that very moment.

“I’m glad you liked the view,” he taunted. “I see you’re vocally admitting we are mates.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I snapped, trying to look annoyed and not aroused.

“You let me call you mate. And yesterday you called me your mate.” He said, touching the tip of my nose. He’s so condescending. He has a lot of nerve since he has kept the fact that I am his mate a secret for the better part of a decade. He doesn’t care right now because of the mating hormones. I remind myself and huff at him. He took my face into his hands and looked deep into my eyes. This made me so uncomfortable. I know my eyes are weird and off-putting. He doesn’t have to highlight the fact that he is currently gawking at them. “It’s been so long since I have seen your eyes.” Was all he said before I yanked my head away. I physically and mentally shook the overbearing thoughts out of my mind and tried to focus my eyes around.

The smoke that once surrounded us is now gone. He was not exaggerating when he said it looked like nothing for miles in every direction. I breathed in deeply and took the ear plugs out of my ears. I sometimes forget I wear them until I need my full range of hearing. I focused in on one sound and that was the beautiful thump of Bel’s heart. It was so steady. How is he always so calm? Once that was all I could hear I let my body go limp. I felt all the shifting of my bones and skin into the sightly little beast that is my wolf form. I really wish I had an inner wolf to help me bear the pain of transitioning.

I made sure not to even look in Bel’s direction. I don’t think I could handle his face of disgust looking at the skeletal black dog in front of him. I felt his large hand on the center of my back. The bolt of pure pleasure made me lunge forward.

In my wolf form, not only can I focus my senses more precisely, but my paws are extra sensitive. I can feel slight vibrations through the surrounding ground. I was about to reach the edge and start running a perimeter when I felt it through my legs. I stopped and looked around and realized I was indeed at the edge of a forest, but I could no longer see or sense Belvedere anywhere. I could hear the whimper escape my chest. Not because I was alone. It was at the loss of Belvedere. I couldn’t stand being far. That feeling I felt through my legs felt like losing my tether to him. Not just that, but my body wasn’t reacting as it should. I should be falling over sick right now from the distance between us. I felt nothing.