Especially Fond of You

Chapter 21(A, Gu Lin’s Perspective)

“Gu Lin, hold on, Gu Lin, hold on…”

Gu Lin looked at his girlfriend in his arms. She lay on her side, eyes closed, with long eyelashes like brushes.

Not as long as actual brushes, but that’s how people describe them, so he went along with it.

She was wearing his T-shirt. This shirt had no issues except for the large collar, which, when Wang Miao lay on her side in his arms, inevitably exposed some skin. He could even see her white, diagonally-striped half-cup bra. The pure color made Gu Lin feel like he should repent for having any impure thoughts.

He closed his eyes, patting Wang Miao's back while trying to pat away his own thoughts.

Fortunately, the instant coffee had no lingering effects, and he soon lulled himself to sleep with the rhythmic motion.

At some point, Old Wang called to remind him about a minor surgery in the afternoon. After agreeing, he couldn’t fall back asleep, while Wang Miao slept soundly beside him.

He envied her ability to sleep anywhere, anytime. He wondered why she hadn’t slept well the previous night. Was she afraid of sleeping alone?

Later, he realized it might be because her period had started.

Seeing her flustered and anxious made him want to laugh, but he feared she’d think he was mocking her, so he tried to act normally. He went to the store in the complex to buy her sanitary pads. Not knowing which kind she used, he asked the shop owner for the best one and bought the most expensive pack, feeling like a sucker.

When Wang Miao changed clothes in the bathroom, Gu Lin noticed two red stains on the bed.

He found a new bedsheet in the closet and changed it, planning to wash the dirty one later that night.

To his surprise, his little girlfriend had washed everything—the clothes, the bedsheet, and the dishes. She even mopped the floor.

Seeing how much she’d done despite her discomfort made him feel a bit guilty, so he decided to take her out to relax.

While she was fixing her clothes in front of the mirror, he was repairing a small toy on the antique shelf. It was Gu Er’s old toy, and a screw had come loose. He fixed it with a screwdriver and gave it to San San.

The setting sun cast a golden glow around Wang Miao’s hair.

Instinctively, he took out his phone and captured the scene, including the two dogs’ heads at the bottom of the photo.

He chuckled, feeling inexplicably proud, and posted the photo on Weibo without any caption, believing that extra words would spoil the beauty.

That evening, when he took Wang Miao home, they were reluctant to part. Wang Miao asked about his schedule for the upcoming week and calculated her own classes. “How about we go see a movie on Sunday?”

“Okay.” Gu Lin thought he’d give her a key to avoid making her wait at the hospital.

After dropping Wang Miao off, Gu Lin bought some alcohol at the convenience store and watched a game while drinking at home, feeling utterly content.

The bed had been made, and though the pillowcases hadn’t been changed, he could still smell her scent on them. Even though she used his shampoo, he could still distinguish her fragrance from his own.

He texted Wang Miao goodnight and then heard a notification on his phone. Opening Weibo, he was surprised to see over a dozen comments on the photo he had posted earlier.

Skimming through them, he was stunned to find two people chatting.

——Chen Xiaoyao: Gu Er looks fatter. Is that a new dog?

——Feng Qi Jingling: Wow, when’s the wedding? Can I get an invite?

——Feng Qi Jingling replied to Chen Xiaoyao: Hey? Fancy seeing you here~

——Chen Xiaoyao replied to Feng Qi Jingling: Small world, you’re my ex.

——Feng Qi Jingling replied to Chen Xiaoyao: What a coincidence.

They stopped after that, leaving Gu Lin with a headache. He prepared to delete the Weibo post but noticed that Wang Miao had liked it—before those comments were made.

Deciding against deleting the post, he opted to delete the comments instead.

That’s why showing off love on social media is risky. He usually never posted personal updates on design platforms, but today he had been bored.

Just as he deleted the comments, Chen Xiaoyao messaged him, “Where’s my comment?”

He kept deleting, then sent her a private message, “Please, my girlfriend will be upset if she sees this.”

Chen Xiaoyao replied, “I don’t have a boyfriend, and I’m upset.”

Gu Lin didn’t know how to respond. This was an ex from a long, long, long time ago, someone he hadn’t contacted in years. He felt oddly touched that she hadn’t unfollowed him on Weibo.

Chen Xiaoyao wasn’t done. Feng Qi Jingling messaged him too, “Long time no see. Want to grab a coffee? My grandma’s been complaining about her back, and I wanted your help to check on her.”

Gu Lin rubbed his forehead, “Just bring her to the hospital. I’m busy, no time for coffee.”

Feng Qi Jingling was polite, “Thanks. Has your number changed? I’ll call before we go.”

Gu Lin barely exchanged a few words with them before they stopped commenting on his Weibo.

Leaving the post up felt like having a ticking time bomb, so he set it to private and scratched his foot nervously.

He’d never told Wang Miao about his past girlfriends, acting as if he only had one ex who got married to someone else. He suspected Wang Miao thought he’d only had one relationship.

What to do? Secrets never stay hidden. If Wang Miao ever saw his exes chatting and recognizing each other, would she explode? Should he come clean about his dating history?

Feeling a tangled mess of emotions, Gu Lin pondered how to talk to Wang Miao about it.

Back in university, he was in a rigorous combined bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral program, keeping him busy until he started working. One of the reasons his relationships didn’t last was his lack of time to spend with girlfriends, resulting in breakups after a couple of months.

His first relationship was in his sophomore year with a classmate who was obsessed with her studies, once detailing how to stab someone for maximum pain but minimal injury, reminding him of horror movies. Mainly, she was busier than him, leading to their breakup.

He had other brief relationships, mostly with people he met through club activities or at bars, the latter being a post-graduation habit when he sought escape from the daily grind of dealing with life and death.

Counting them on his fingers, Gu Lin decided it was better to keep this from Wang Miao. Admitting everything might earn him a slap or two.

Sleeping with guilt, he dreamed of marrying Wang Miao.

In the dream, Wang Miao wore a long, flowing wedding dress and a flower crown, gracefully greeting guests at the banquet hall entrance.

Gu Lin had a groom’s perspective but also felt like an observer. He watched himself adjust Wang Miao’s dress, with her smiling and whispering something to him, before the scene shifted to the emcee congratulating them and hosting the wedding.

Standing center stage, he watched Wang Miao walk down the aisle with her father, heart brimming with joy.

The emcee suddenly said, “Wait a moment!”

Wait for what? Get on with it!

In the dream, Gu Lin tried to intervene but couldn’t. He watched as the emcee invited “special guests” on stage—his ex-girlfriends, each in pretty dresses, singing “Goodbye My Lover.” The audience joined in, even Wang Miao.

The scene spiraled out of control.

Gu Lin woke up in a cold sweat. Daylight streamed in.

Yawning, he checked the time and closed his eyes again.

What a terrifyingly realistic dream.

Feeling guilty, yet reasoning he had nothing to feel guilty about, he debated how to handle his dating history with Wang Miao.

Faced with the choice of hiding the truth and risking a breakup or confessing and likely facing a breakup, he chose to keep quiet.

Perhaps due to his guilt, he found Wang Miao even more endearing, like a little angel. He seriously considered marriage or at least a trial marriage.

He shared his thoughts with Wang Miao, who asked, “Trial marriage means living together first to see if we can get along, then deciding if we should get married?”

Gu Lin hadn’t meant living together just yet.

But he did want them to get to know each other better. A relationship naturally progresses from strangers to familiarity, typically deciding within six months whether to break up or stay together. Any longer and the relationship could stagnate; knowing too much often reveals flaws.

He thought his idea was sound, but Wang Miao playfully punched him, “You just want to trick me into living together!”

Gu Lin laughed, “I have a few days off during National Day. Let’s visit my parents.”

Wang Miao exclaimed, “But I have intensive training sessions. My schedule is packed.”

Gu Lin wasn’t too disappointed. He planned to discuss marriage with his parents and prepare to buy a house, an increasingly difficult task. Plus, Fang Qing’s mother was gravely ill, and he hoped to see her and possibly arrange a hospital transfer.

These matters were too burdensome for Wang Miao. He wanted to be more prepared before involving her.

Wang Miao felt downcast about not joining Gu Lin on his trip, asking if he had any more vacation days. She still wanted to go on a trip with him.

Gu Lin suggested, “How about you stay at my place and take care of the dogs while I

’m gone?”

Wang Miao hesitated, then agreed, “How long will you be gone? Maybe I can swap shifts. It’s just a few thousand yuan, not worth it.”

Gu Lin exaggerated, “A few thousand yuan? That’s a lot! You should earn more so I can rely on you.”

Wang Miao blushed, “I’ll take care of your dogs. Come back soon and take me out.”

Seeing her smile like a cat, Gu Lin teased, “I might just stay home and play.”

Realizing his words sounded off, he corrected, “I’ll take you out for sure.”

Arriving at his hometown, Fang Qing picked him up, first taking him to see her mother.

Bone cancer, terminal.

Gu Lin struggled to find comforting words.

Fang Qing didn’t press him, dropping him off, “There’s a high school reunion in a few days. Let’s catch up then.”

“Okay, take care.” Gu Lin felt nostalgic.

Away from home, Fang Qing reminded him of her betrayal, but back in their hometown, he recalled their childhood, studying together at Fang Qing’s house, her mother cooking for them.

Those memories felt like yesterday, though they were from over a decade ago.

Fang Qing’s marriage and divorce were her story, one she alone could reflect on.

Gu Lin had his own issues to handle. His parents’ two large dogs were reportedly better-behaved than him.

Returning home, his mother sent him to walk the dogs first. After dinner, he declared, “I’m getting engaged and buying a house.”

His mom glanced at him, playing with the dogs.

Ignored, he repeated himself.

His mom replied impatiently, “You didn’t bring your girlfriend to discuss this. Decide yourself.”

“Do we have money?”

His dad changed the TV channel, “We’re planning for another child, so all our money will go to him.”

His mom threw a pillow at his dad.

Feeling exasperated, Gu Lin wondered if his parents were for real. They seemed unreliable, yet he was too.

During his stay, he joined his parents for tai chi, square dancing, meals, and walks, also visiting Fan Sizhe’s place—he was introducing his girlfriend to his parents.

Gu Lin felt a pang of envy, telling Fan Sizhe, “Gu Er is with my fiancée.”

Fan Sizhe seemed doubtful.

Feeling like a failure, Gu Lin video-called Wang Miao, soothed by her sweet voice and joyful eyes, wishing to be with her immediately.

At the reunion, tipsy and loose-lipped, he promised, “Pick a place you like, and we’ll buy a house there.”

Wang Miao suggested near his current home, close to the hospital for his convenience.

Touched, Gu Lin marveled at how discussing finances could feel so solid. He resolved to treat her well, saying, “I’m giving myself to you.”

“You’re drunk, aren’t you? You’re quite cute.”

Cradling his face, he matched her tone, “I’ll be whatever you like.”

“I like you as ‘Wang Miao.’”

Gu Lin frowned, “That’s too much. Wang Miao is too beautiful, can’t match that.”

Laughing, Wang Miao asked, “When are you coming back?”

“The day after tomorrow. Packing tomorrow, back early the next day.” Gu Lin was eager to return, longing to hold Wang Miao and sleep purely with her.