Fractions of grief

content

rest my soul, find peace in knowing that life is freedom.

we are tamed by our thoughts, limited by our ambition.

nothing will ever compare to the peace one will find in becoming content with the life their given.

the secret to a peaceful life is a content heart.

we spend our lives seeking things that will not give us peace and satisfaction because we put our happiness on our prosperity, we set our goals attached to our joy.

to life, we owe our gratitude, to time we owe our respect, and to chance we owe our honor.

we spend our time looking when we should first search our hearts and mind for true self-satisfaction.

today's hardships are tomorrow's testimony, today's loss is tomorrow's lesson on living a fulfilling life.

I have loved and lost the one part of my life that I never thought would go, I found myself questioning God on why he gave up on my dad, I prayed for a miracle but I received death.

it hurts to put your hope and trust in God and feel let down.

I felt let down by the universe, I truly felt betrayed by my faith in God, losing half of myself felt like a horrible nightmare, but watching him suffer from cancer was brutal.

I had so many questions regarding God's grace, is the merciful or is he only wrath and punishment? how can he? the one that created everything let sickness and poverty rule the earth?

how can the God of peace let destruction rule the world? how can the God of equality let the world be dominated by greed and corruption?

how can the one that is a savior not heal? how can the one that can give life let death become victorious?

so many questions, so much entitlement, am I equal to time, am I equal to God? no! I am selfish, I lacked wisdom, I let grief consume my soul, and I let pain control my emotions. I gave God a good sit in the back forgetting that he is who has been and will continue to be long after I have left the earth.

I met miracles through death, I saw his might in loss, I bore witness to his love through grief, I met him in the center of my confusion, he who is time, he who is life, the one that is the only chance we get.

I have known him from my youth but I truly found him In death.

I expected to see him in recovery but I met him in defeat.

the peace he gave that surpassed my selfish understanding.

who said you can't find good comfort from pain? he was merciful and kind. he gave me the strength to hold on in times when I thought I would never be strong enough to stand on my own.

I feared losing my dad but I found strength in his loss, it is very true that indeed he has been doing great work in our lives.

I am clothed in his strength, the one that never fails, today I am content in knowing that until we find our maker we will never find peace and the strength to endure life's lessons.

I understand that now, I know that indeed life is meaningless all the worldly things we seek and run after are in the end nothing but wind.

everything we depend on will never sustain us like his grace, nothing we seek in this life will ever be as satisfying as his comfort and love.

to me life is God and my purpose is to serve, to me, power is meaningless without good works.

how can I be happy when people are crying? well, I am happy in knowing that in times of distress I will be there to introduce his mighty hand that gives without restraint.

today is a good day let me just in all the greatness of his work, tomorrow has its troubles, but today, I am content and continuing through my journey in grieving the loss of my father feeling loved and comforted, today is a wonderful day to give thanks for his presence during hardships and his guidence through confusing times.