Go Tell It on the Mountains

Chapter 9: Just a Little Longer

“Come on, Wiley, let’s go to bed,” Jackson said.

“I want to watch him a little while longer.”

“He’s not going anywhere.”

“He could be going with us.”

“We’d have to get an ICPC,” he pointed out.

The ICPC was the Interstate Compact on the Protection of Children. We’d need permission from both the state of Massachusetts and the state of Mississippi for an interstate adoption.

“We’ll get one,” I said.

“You seem pretty confident.”

“He’s the one, Jack. He’s the one we’ve been waiting for.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But I do.”

I glanced up at Jackson, smiled. He offered a faint, patient smile.

“If you don’t like him,” I said, “then we won’t do it. It has to be both of us. This is our child, not just mine. I know that.”

“I like him,” Jackson said. “But what about Amelia? I thought we were leaning toward her.”

“She doesn’t need us, not like he does.”

“Well, I’m not sure if it’s this kid you want to adopt or—”

“You’re not going to go there…”

“—or if you’re trying to recreate your experience with Noah.”

“You are going to go there.”

“We need to talk about it, Wiley.”

He put his hands on his hips and looked rather prissy.

“Maybe you’re right,” I said. “Maybe I am looking for another Noah. But so what, Jack? Noah was the best thing that ever happened to me. What’s wrong with wanting to try to get some of that back?”

“I want you to adopt this child, not someone you think might be—”

“I know what you want. I know what you’re saying. And it’s not that way. Okay, sure, Tony reminds me of Noah. But he’s also very, very different. Some of the dynamics are the same. The insecurity. The fear. I understand those things. I can help him get through those things. This boy needs me, Jack. That’s the thing. He needs someone like me, someone who’s been there, who knows how to help him. Amelia was a little sweetheart, and it was love at first sight, but she didn’t need me. There were five other couples looking at her. Someone’s going to snatch her up right quick. And she’s going to be a wonderful daughter, and she’s going to have a wonderful life. But I want someone no one else wants.”

“But why?”

“That’s just how I am. And don’t knock it—worked out pretty well for you, didn’t it?”

“Very funny. I don’t think you have to worry about anyone else wanting him.”

He looked down at Tony’s face, now relaxed in sleep.

“Come on, Wiley. Let’s go to bed.”

“I think I’ll just sit here a little while longer.”

“Are you going to sleep in this chair?”

“Probably,” I admitted.

“I’ll get you a blanket.” He bent to kiss me. “Wiley?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t fall too hard. He’s a match for us, but that doesn’t mean we’ll get to foster him, much less adopt. You know that. All kinds of things could go wrong.”

“And just the same, all kinds of things could go right.”

“That too.”

“It’s what Noah would have wanted,” I said.