Let Me Love You

I Want You To Leave

NASH

I’m laying in bed, with my arms wrapped around a sleeping Wren for the second time today. It feels so comfortable that I’m struggling to keep my own eyes open.

I decide to close my eyes for a minute, tired of fighting myself. Normally I have trouble getting more than five hours of shut eye, but with her, I can feel myself relax.

Just as sleep begins to consume me, I hear the faint sound of my phone vibrating on the bedside table. I pick it up and look at the screen. It’s a number that I don’t recognize, and normally I would let it go to voicemail, but something is nagging me to answer.

“Hello?” I barely get out before I’m interrupted by a frantic voice.

“Nash! I know this seems super random, but I’ve called literally everyone and anyone.” The voice squeaks out.

“Who is this?” I whisper, not wanting to wake up Wren.

“Layla!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know any Layla’s. How did you get my number?” I ask, genuinely confused.

She obviously knows me, but I’m not sure how.

“I’m Wrens best friend! The one she was with at the restaurant yesterday!” She yells.

Ahh, okay. Now I’m less confused, but why is she calling me?

“Listen, Wren walked home alone last night from work and I haven’t heard from her since. Her phone is off, so I can’t get ahold of her. I even went to her apartment and let myself in, and she’s not there!”

I can hear what Layla let out a small sniffle on the other end of the line.

“Layla-“ I try to say before I’m interrupted again.

“She never does this, she normally will text me when she gets home, or atleast give me a call in the morning. I know you were at the bar until closing, but did you maybe see her at all? Around 2:30? That’s when she left.”

“Layla!” I whisper shout into the phone.

“For Christ’s sake woman, will you let me speak.”

The line is quiet on her end. After a beat I hear her say a quiet “okay.”

“I’m looking at Wren right now. She’s perfectly fine.” I say as I brush her tangled curls out of her face.

“Let me talk to her.” She says, seriousness in her tone.

“She’s sleeping.” I whisper.

“I don’t care, wake her up.” She says through gritted teeth.

“No can do Layla. But, I can FaceTime you or send you a picture so you can see her for yourself if that would make you more at ease.”

The line goes dead, and after only a second it begins to vibrate again with an incoming FaceTime call.

I answer the phone and I see a distressed Layla, eyes red and puffy.

“Let me see her.” She huffs.

I tilt the phone in Wrens direction, showing Layla that she’s is indeed fine.

“Are you naked?” She asks me.

I tip the phone back towards my face.

“Goodbye Layla, I’ll have her call you when she wakes up.” I smile at her through the screen.

“Wait-“ she says as I hang up the phone.

I place it back on the table and resume my position, falling back into a dream like state.

………………………………………………

I wake up about an hour later. I check my phone for time. 2:53. I groan, knowing that we should probably start waking up. Leaning down I place a small chaste kiss on Wrens full lips.

“Wake up baby girl.” I whisper, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear. Wrens sapphire eyes flutter open.

“Morning.” She smiles sleepily.

“You mean good afternoon. It’s almost 3 P.M.” I laugh.

Wrens eyes go slightly wide. “Holy crap, how long was I out for?!”

“A couple of hours. Just long enough to miss a frantic call from Layla.”

“Oh my god, I never called her last night.”

“Yeah, she was pretty upset, she even went to your apartment to go check on you. She ended up calling my phone asking if I’d seen you. She even FaceTimed me to make sure you were alive when I said I wasn’t going to wake you up.” I laugh.

“What did you say?” A look of terror washes over her face.

“Nothing, but she did ask me if I was naked before I hung up on her.”

Wren groans as she pulls the covers over her head.

“She’s never going to let me live this down. The girl is relentless.”

“Yeah, she seems a little… high strung.” I chuckle.

“Just a tad.” She says, wrinkling her nose.

I get up from the bed and offer her my hand. She takes it and I pull her to me and wrap her in my arms. She looks up into my eyes and I can’t help but smile.

“What?” Wren ask me, a smirk on her face.

“You’re beautiful, you know that right?” I kiss the top of her head.

Wren looks down towards the floor shyly. It’s so f*****g adorable. And here I go again. Beautiful? Adorable? Am I turning into a chick or something?

“Thank you.” She smiles, a blush of color flooding her cheeks.

“Cmon, let’s go downstairs.” I grab her hand and guide her toward the living room.

We sit on the couch and I grab the remote and start searching through Netflix.

“Any requests?” I ask looking in her direction.

“Something scary, I want to get myself into a fall mood.” She says giggling.

“Wren, it’s August 29th.” I look at her confused.

“Well pumpkin spiced latte season starts September 2nd, so it’s technically almost spooky season.” Wren laughs sticking her tongue out at me.

I shake my head at her, and we scroll through the scary movies, settling on the Conjuring. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her in next to me and she lays her head against my chest. We sit there cuddled together for the entire two hour movie, and Wren doesn’t jump once, she just stares pensively at the screen. Even I jumped a few times.

I eye here suspiciously, trying to figure her out. Is she some kind of robot? Maybe a psychopath. I chuckle to myself.

“What’s so funny?” Wren asks looking up at me.

“You.” I laugh.

“Me? What’s so funny about me?” She asks me curiously.

“I’ve never seen a woman watch a scary movie so calmly before. Are you sure you’re not the serial killer?”

“I’ve just always had a thing for horror. Halloween is my favorite time of year. I love anything that has to do with true crime, murder mystery.” She giggles.

“When I was five, I begged my mom to let me trick or treat dressed as Freddy Krueger. She made me settle for a witch instead.” She says with slight irritation in her voice.

“Did you ever get to?” I ask.

“I eventually wore her down and she let me when I was seven. Still my favorite costume to date.” She laughs.

“What about you, what’s your favorite costume you’ve ever worn?” Wren asks.

“I’ve never dressed up, so I guess I don’t have one.” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“Not even as a child?!” She gasps

“I was never given the opportunity.” My lips form a tight line. Talking about my childhood is definitely not my favorite thing.

“Why not?” Wren tilts her head to the side. Her big blue eyes full of sympathy.

“Well, all the extra money went towards dads bar tab, and then when he left, it went to my moms drug habit. Then after that, none of my foster parents liked me enough to offer me one. So it just was never a thing.” I say getting up from the couch.

I walk towards the kitchen and pull down a bottle of whiskey and a glass from the cupboard. I pour a tall drink and down half of it in one gulp.

Wren looks at me from the couch with a worried expression.

“I’m sorry Nash.” She says quietly.

“It is what it is Wren.” I say slamming the rest of my drink before replenishing it.

I grab my phone out of my pocket and open up my Uber app.

“Well, it’s getting kind of late and I have a busy week. Let me call you a car to take you home.” I say dryly.

I know that was kind of a d**k thing to say, but something about bringing up my past puts me in a sour mood. Once I’m in this mood the only thing that can relax me is a bottle of Jim beam and a night of drunken sleep.

“Woah woah woah.”Wren says getting up from the couch, making her way straight towards me.

“I’m sorry if I upset you Nash, but you don’t get to just shut down and throw me out the door.” Wren grabs the glass of whiskey out of my hands.

“I’m not throwing you out. I’m calling you a car and asking you to leave.” I sneer.

“Same thing Nash.” She says while pouring my glass down the drain.

“If you really want me to leave, I will leave. But don’t go throwing a temper tantrum because I accidentally said something that I didn’t know would upset you.” Wren crosses her arms over her chest.

“I want you to leave.” I lie.

I know that if she stays, I might say something I don’t mean. If she’s not here, I can’t hurt her right?

“Fine.” Wren says tight lipped.

“I don’t need your Uber. I’ll call Layla and she’ll come pick me up.”

Wren grabs her purse from the counter, pulling out her phone. She taps the screen and throws it back in the bag.

“May I borrow you phone please. Mine is dead.” She says dryly.

I extend my arm toward her offering her my phone. Wren takes it from my and and I grab a new glass and fill it with whiskey. Picking up the glass and the bottle, I make my way across the room.

“Just put it on the counter before you leave.” I say before turning to walk up the stairs.

Wren gives me a dirty look as she begins to talk on the phone. I know I’m acting like a complete ass, but this is mild compared to how I usually get. I can feel the frustration bubbling in my chest. I don’t want to argue with her, she doesn’t deserve that.

I make my way into the office and plop down at my desk. I take another large swig of the brown liquid, feeling it burn as it travels down my throat. I sit there staring at the wall for I’m not sure how long. I suddenly hear the door slam from downstairs, and I know that Wren is gone.

I sit there for hours sipping on my drink. I can feel myself become drunker and drunker as the minutes pass. The anger inside of me begins to dull and I’m suddenly taken with a new emotion.

Shit. I handled that completely wrong. This is why I avoid my history like the plague. It drags up all the bad memories. Watching my dad beat my mother in a drunken rage. Finding my mom passed out on the bathroom floor, needle still in arm. Being passed along from home to home, each one worse than the next.

I promised I would never become my parents. Though here I am, drinking myself into oblivion. Dad would be so proud. I walk downstairs and pour the rest of the whiskey down the drain. I walk outside and sit on my back patio. Lighting a cigarette, I look into the wooded area behind my house.

I sat there for an hour, smoking cigarette after cigarette. Not ready to go back inside. The house feels empty without the sound of Wrens laughter. I really f****d this up. I finally find a girl that I like, outside of whiskey goggles, and I sent her away.

I make a promise to myself that I will fix this. I have to fix this. I know we’ve only known each other for a day and a half, but I’ll be damned if they weren’t the best 36 hours of my life.

I put my cigarette out and lay on the cool wooden deck. The light muggy August breeze consumes me. I close my eyes for what feels like a moment, and soon I’m fading away into an alcohol induced sleep.