All Night

Oxygen

Grayson

“Mom… I've missed you so much.” I wrap my arms around her. I pick her up and spin her around. She laughs.

I've missed her so much that I couldn't take it anymore. I'm glad to be back. It feels so good to be home.

She holds my face in her hands and starts crying. She makes me emotional but I won’t cry in front of her.

“My beautiful, clever son. How's university? How's the world treating you?” she asks and I smile. I wipe her tears away. She always cares so much. “Amazing. Got a good degree. Everything to make you proud.” I say and smile. Her chin is shaking and I can’t stand seeing her like this but I’m glad I can make her feel this happy.

“You know I'm proud of you, no matter what you do.” she says. I'm so lucky do have her as my mom. She makes me feel so loved and wanted, no matter what I do. She has always been so supportive, I wouldn’t have came this far, without her. She's gone through rough times but she still did everything to get me to where I am right now. I'm doing everything that I can to give it back to her and show her it was worth it. It felt good to be far away from home and the whole s**t but I've really missed her.

“Come, sit down. You must be tired and hungry from the way...” she says, pulling me towards the kitchen. I've also missed this house. I've spent my whole life here. It feels good but weird to be back.

I can already smell the delicious food she made. She always gets me addicted to what she does. “I'm sure you've missed my food more than me.” she smiles and I roll my eyes. “Never mom.” I kiss her forehead and sit down.

I look around. I remember every evening I spent around this table. I have to smile with all the memories that come but it makes me sad to see how sad and old my mom got. I know she's happy that I'm here but obviously there are things that made her sad while I wasn't around. I would do anything to make her happy again.

“Where is Toni?” it's 4am. I couldn't come earlier because the flight was delayed and he should be in his room, sleeping, doing nothing or doing criminal stuff outside that he should get handcuffed and arrested for.

I'm sure he’s the reason for her sadness. I'm sure he's making things difficult for her. He's never been an easy child and he never could just be calm and not disappoint his family.

Toni

After a week, she's way better than before. It's like she's healing. From everything. I love watching that process because seeing her bloom feels good. It heals me too.

We're speeding things up.

Getting new tattoos, having fun, going to the beach every night, although it's too cold for that. We're almost in the middle of winter but who gives a f**k? We love the beach.

And I'm learning to love her. We're not talking about it but we both know that our hearts are beating for each other. We don’t need to mention it.

Although Pablo would literally shove his fist up my throat and rip my heart out of my body so I couldn't feel anything, if he would find out about this, I’m still risking it and I don't have a problem with it.

Now we're sitting in the sand again and talking about everything that comes to our minds. I love doing that. We talk about deep things that I can’t talk to anybody else about.

“Sometimes I wish I could be somebody else.” she says, leaning her chin on her arms that she crossed over her knees. She’s staring at the ocean. That’s her favorite thing to do.

LI feel like I still couldn't find myself. It feels like I'm doing nothing that's worth anything.” she adds and I tilt my head. I love listening to her because her thoughts and the way she speaks is so different. So beautiful.

“I wish I could be somebody else. Someone who nobody knows. Someone who everybody knows or just someone new; who doesn't exist yet…”

I can understand why she wants that. These thoughts crossed my mind many times.

“I have no clue how to explain this. It's such a weird and stupid thought. You know what I mean?” she looks at me. I bite my inner cheek. “Yeah. I know what you mean…” I say and look at the sky, which is full of stars.

“I think you could be Freddy Krueger or Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Would fit you very well.” I say and she looks at me with a dropped jaw, totally upset.

I try to hold in my laughter but I can’t. I burst out in laughter. She punches my arm, while I'm laughing my ass off. Sometimes the asshole in me comes to the surface and I mess with her.

I run my hands through her hair and mess it up. She tries to stop me because she hates it.

“You are Regan MacNeil from The Exorcist!” she is angry but not really. I know she finds it funny and that makes me laugh even harder. I don't remember the last time I've laughed that much. I almost forgot what it feels like to laugh. There wasn’t much that made me laugh in the past years. I just love it when she gets mad at me.

She tries to mess my hair up as well but I grab her wrists. “Nobody's touching my hair, little girl!” I say but she keeps fighting. We start fighting and I try my best to not be harsh on her. I don’t want to hurt her.

“I thought I'm Quasimodo?” she laughs and I join her. My stomach is already aching because I’m not used to laughing. It feels like even my face dried in that serious expression and now it’s cracking open again.

Somehow she ends up on me, after rolling around in the sand and seeing her laugh from this angle is way different than anything else that I expected. It's way more beautiful than any night sky that I've been under with her until now. Every sunset and sunrise I've witnessed with her until now. Everything that god created.

She stops laughing and looks into my eyes, while I still hold her wrists because she notices how serious I get and in what position we are right now. She swallows and I can't help but look at her lips. She looks at mine. My heart starts racing and my grip loosens.

What am I feeling?

Lucille

My heart is racing. I'm so nervous…

Don't hyperventilate, don't hyperventilate, don't mess this up.

Don't make him think you won't make it. Don't make him think you're weird or you don’t want this... Don't make him think you can never kiss a boy again.

He already made me forget about my past with his laugh and his eyes. I never thought I’d ever hear him laugh or see his shining eyes. I'm not going to mess this up now.

Just when I think about kissing him (and that's what I think about all the time), he lifts his head from the sand and presses his lips against mine. And in this moment, everything stops. Time. My heart.

Everything freezes. The ocean, the wind, the clouds, the world, my thoughts…

This is the most beautiful thing I've felt for a while. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. It's beautiful that I let it happen to myself. That I let him make me feel this way. That I accept it.

I've been waiting too long for this. I wish I would've done it earlier or he would’ve done it earlier…

Toni

My heart stops beating and I can’t believe how overwhelmed I am by this feeling. The feeling of kissing someone I love. It fills my whole body with something warm, comfortable and good. I’m not used to this feeling.

I can’t think, hear or speak. All I can do is feel her lips on mine. Feel all the words she wants to tell me but can’t, feel all the feelings that are laying on her tongue.

I back off and look at her, afraid she might not be ready for this. After everything that happened, I would understand it if she would need time. Maybe I went too far. No matter, if this was the most beautiful thing I've felt in a while, I need to respect her boundaries. No matter. if I'm dying right now to kiss her again. No matter, if I can't get enough of her lips and if I'm already addicted.

“I'm sorry… I didn't want to-…” I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed. I don't want her to feel pressured or forced. But she cuts me off. “Don't stop…” she says with furrowed eyebrows. That irritates me. I look into her eyes. She wants it. She wants to cross the light. I raise both of my eyebrows and she nods.

I wrap my arm around her waist and spin her around so I’m on her with one move. I start kissing her again but this time harder and I realize that this was all I ever wanted. Since the first moment I saw her. This was all I thought about.

I won't let her breathe. I can't let her breathe. I can’t pull my lips away from her and allow her to breathe the air that doesn’t come out of my mouth.

I would get jealous of the oxygen that fills her lungs.

Jealous of the air that touches her lips. Jealous of her own lips that touch each other.

I kiss her even harder. She wraps her arms around my neck and replies to it.

I lift her body up and press mine against hers.

How and why did I wait so long for this? What took me so long? I was wrong. I’ve never felt something beautiful like this before. I feel complete. I’ve never felt anything close to this before and I don't want it to stop. I could lose myself in her. Forever…

I grab her hip with my other hand and slide it up and down her leg. Not even cocaine can make me feel like this.

Grayson

“I don't know…” she says. She sounds annoyed and angry. Sad as well maybe.

I clench my jaw. “Mom, does he make you sad?” I come straight to the point. She sighs, when she gives me the plate with the food. That’s my answer.

“That doesn't matter Gray. I barely see him.” she says. He’s always making the impossible possible. He pisses me off so much.

“Mom, I'm going to eat and then you're going to tell me everything that you're carrying on your chest okay?” I say, holding onto her hand. “You have more to tell.” she says…

She stayed up for me. She made food for me. She did so much, only because I'm coming back. I appreciate her so much.

“Then we're going to talk, until we're tired.” I say and kiss her hand. She smiles and goes back to the oven. I knew she made cookies. I love this woman.

All of a sudden I remember something.

I take my phone out and dial a number. How could I forget about this? A huge smile places my lips. This is the best part of this all.

He picks up.

“I'm back, bro!” I say, without greeting or letting him breathe. I don't even care, if I woke him up. I know he's sleeping at this time of the night. He's my best friend and he can never be mad at me for waking him up. I know he will be happy about this.

“Wait. Are you serious?” he asks, totally sleepy. “Yeah, I am.” I say and laugh. I can already see his shocked face. I couldn't wait until tomorrow morning to tell him or surprise him.

“You’re such an asshole. Why didn't you tell me about this before?” he laughs. I'm glad I could make him happy with this. I really missed my friends here. They'll always be the coolest.

“It's a surprise!” I say. “Dude, you just... I swear you have the perfect timing!” he says and my face hurts from smiling. Loving and being loved is so important. He's my bro. He's everything that Toni couldn't be for me.

“We gotta hang out, as soon as possible!” I’m totally hyped. “Definitely! How do you expect me to sleep now?” he asks and I laugh. “Man…” he says and he sounds so exhausted that I remember the actual matter.

“Dude. I'm sorry about you sister…” I'm not sure if this is the right moment to say this but I just couldn’t push it away any longer.

I met Tyler a year ago and since the moment I met him, we’re best friends.

We got really close in a short time. He's the loyalest brother I could wish for. I didn't mean to hurt him with this. It’s just that I heard about his sister and didn’t know how to open this topic yet.

I've never seen her. He only talked about her and that they’re not on good terms but I know how much he loved her and still does.

“You know, I would've called you earlier but I was so busy and I didn't really know how to talk about thi-…” he cuts me off. “It's fine, bro. Really.” he says. I know he's serious but he sounds sad.

“How do you feel.” I rub my neck. “I'm better now… Better than before. It's been a month.” he says and I take a deep breathe. I know how hard this is for him. “I'm glad. Don't worry, we'll fix this. Now go and get your sleep…” I say.

“Fine. See ya. Welcome back.” he says and he sounds happier. I smile, thank him and hang up.

I start to eat, when mom asks “Oh, that girl that disappeared? Is her brother a friend of yours?” she asks, totally concussed. I nod. “Yeah. Unfortunately.” I say. This really shouldn't have happened to him. He doesn't deserve this.

“I've heard about it. It's really sad. She was so young. Who knows how she died and with what she had to deal with.” she sounds heartbroken and so I am. I wish I could help Tyler somehow but I don’t know how. “You have a lot to tell me.” she continues and I nod. There's really a lot to tell her…

Toni

I can't stop kissing her. She can't stop kissing me. I feel like I'm burning but this time it's in a good way.

After this, she cannot expect me to not kiss her randomly at any occasion. I don't think that I'll ever be able to stop or get enough of her taste or of the softness of her lips.

She wraps her legs around my waist and I run my hands through her hair and grab it.

I never thought that I could do this for so long, without even breathing properly. I’d rather kiss her than breathe anyway.

I've kissed many girls but none of them meant anything to me... She's the one who makes me feel.

My ringing phone ruined everything. The whole moment and intimacy.

Why isn't this s**t on mute? I back off and look at her. She's smiling but I can see that she’s a bit shy. Her eyes are shining. I can't help but smile as well because there’s no regret or awkwardness.

Her lips are dark and swollen and that makes me want to eat her. Where does this urge come from? I’ve never had it before. I don't want to imagine how my lips look right now. I roll my eyes and she giggles...

God, I live for this...

“Silly girl.” I say and slowly get off her.

I furrow my eyebrows, when I see that it's mom who’s calling...