All Night

He won

After a few minutes of just looking at me, he smirks again. I'm sure that this is not a good sign. It’s never be a good sign, if someone like him smirks like that. It means he likes what he sees and I don’t like that at all. 

“Sit down.” he points at the seat in front of him, with a dangerous smile. Is that a test?

I do what he says, without thinking about it too much and making this awkward. I slowly let myself fall on the comfortable seat and pull my sleeves down to my hands, wishing I could hide or disappear.

I can't even look at him. I'm afraid that he'll kill me if I make eye contact but maybe that's exactly what he wants.

“Do you have an idea what you could be doing here?” he sounds more friendly now for some reason, keeping his smirk and his hands folded. He’s probably trying to gain my trust. 

I think about how I should answer to that. Anything that I could say could be wrong.

I don't know why I'm here and I'm dying to find out, although I'm scared of it at the same time. I don’t have the guts to ask yet. I shake my head instead of answering with words. Maybe he'll tell me and I'm not going to say a word as long as he doesn't want me to. That's the only way to stay safe.

“You are here to help us.” he says and I try to show off how surprised I am. With what could a girl like me help someone like him? I slowly frown, in confusion.

People like him need help with things that they can't do by themselves because it's too dangerous or dirty for them and they need small helpers who would burn themselves for him. If he expects me to do that then he must be delusional.

“I know you are confused and that's okay. There's nothing you need to worry about. I'll tell you everything that you have to do and your guardian will help you.” my guardian? He's talking about red hood… I'd like to know how his name but I won’t ask him. 

It’s hard to believe that there is nothing I need to worry about and that he will talk me through everything. I'm not stupid and I'm slowly getting why I'm here. While I'm thinking about this, he keeps looking at me. I'd only like to know what I'm exactly going to do. I need details.

He answers, as if he's reading my mind.

“You're just going to do some small jobs. You'll work at the club, brainwash and seduce men to get their money, make it easier for us to deal our stuff, get money in any way that’s possible for a fragile thing like you.” he explains, as if he’s talking about something totally normal. How is it so easy for people? What does he mean with seduce men and deal stuff? I don’t want to deal anything for him or talk to any men. Actually I know very well what he means. Why am I even surprised? It’s not like he would want me to sell flowers for him and paint a painting for his office or watch his dogs. Everyone who would take a look at him would get that he's into this stuff. 

The hell did this bastard get me into? Red hood put me into all of this. If he wouldn’t have been standing there that night and if I wouldn’t have walked past him or on that street at all, I wouldn’t be here right now. I would be home or at school. I would do something else and not talk to a man who is wanting to sell me, even though he doesn’t have the right to do so.

“You're really pretty and I'm sure you'll make a lot of money for us. You will get paid as well.“ he slowly nods and my blood starts boiling. 

I’m here because I’m pretty? They kidnap pretty girls and force them to get jobs done for them? I don't want money and I'm not going to do anything for money. What am I even supposed to do with the money I’ll earn here? Eat it in the cellar that they’re keeping me in? It’s not like I can go shopping, get coffee or save it for college. It’s dirty money anyway.

What I thought, earlier in the car, was stupid and a moment of weakness. I want to get out of this as fast as I can and if he thinks that I'm a money chasing girl who would do anything for it, then he's wrong. I want my life back before I live a new one. I don’t want or need a new one. I want Romy and my family back. I want my books and the library back. I even want mom back…

“It's really easy and as long as you do what we say, nothing will happen to you. We'll protect you with our lives because you are important to us.“ he's trying to wash my brain. It’s hard to believe that I am important to them and that they would even die for me. I’ve never heard such a lie. Wait, I did. From my mom. 

I look at my hands. This is crazy. Usually I would just start to cry but I'm too angry and afraid so I keep myself together. I don't know for how long I'll be able to do this. I can already feel my body shaking but I will never cry in front of him. Not in front of the big boss.

“Lucille, you're special. You are a beautiful, young girl with many chances. Even the strongest men would get weak for you.“ I’m dying to slap that stupid smirk out of his face. I don't want people like him to tell me that I'm pretty or special or that men would get weak for me. I feel like throwing up whenever he mentions that. I'm disgusted and I don't want this. I know I don’t have a choice but I feel like I rather die than do what he says. I know I need to be strong but this is killing me because I know that it’s real. 

“What you have to do is really easy. You only have to answer him a few questions.“ I look up at him. He means red hood. My only contact person here is red hood. 

“I know you have questions as well and you're confused. This is really hard. €specially for girls in your age but you'll get used to it.“ I hate that he’S speaking to me as if everything is okay. I am confused. More than confused. I'm sad, angry, afraid, weak and broken at the same time. There’s a tornado inside me that I can’t escape from. This all is escalating too quickly. Just yesterday I left my broken home because I destroyed everything and now I'm in a movie scene. I want to go back and forget this nightmare. I want this to stop and forget everything. I want everything to be like it was, even if it was awful. It can’t be worse than this. I'm trying really hard to hold my tears back but I know I won't make it. A few tears roll down my cheek and I feel my chest hurting. I feel like I can't breathe. 

He hands me a tissue from the tissue box on his table. I’m surely not the first girl to cry in his office.

“There's no need to cry, my dear. Tell me what you need, what you think about and ask me questions. I'll do anything to comfort you.“ it’s probably also not the first time that he says this to a girl like me. Only now I realize that I didn't talk yet I feel even worse now. It won't get better. I feel my throat burning and my tongue is weak. 

“Am I going to see my family again and are you going to let me go?“ my voice is shaking and I know it’s a stupid questions but if I have to do what he says so he can let me go, I will do whatever he wants. It’s pathetic and maybe weak but I don’t care about that.

“Unfortunately we can't let you go again. You are ours now.“ he says, as if he's sorry but I know he isn't. He’s not nice, even when he acts like he is.  

The answer destroys me. It shatters my heart and all my hopes. I don’t want to be theirs. 

“You'll die.“ he says, straight into my face without thinking about it for a second. My heart drops at how serious he suddenly is… I knew it. I knew they would kill me sooner or later. “If you talk, try to escape or kill yourself you’ll make things difficult for us.“ he raises a brow. I'm definitely not suicidal but I'm going to be, if it keeps going like this. “So you better act right. You don't want anything to happen to Tyler, right?“ he asks and my jaw slightly drops. 

He knows Tyler… How does he know him and why? I start shaking. “How..?“ only one word makes it to roll off my tongue. “I know everything about you, my dear. I know everything.“ he looks right into my eyes. I know it’s not a lie. He really knows everything and know I actually believe that this all was planned but I don’t have proof. 

I would die, if anything would happen to those who I love because of me. I can't let anything happen to them, only because I'm a comfortable coward. This is all my fault and now I need to fight for it. The thought of Tyler being in danger because of me makes me crazy. He got me. I will do whatever he wants. I don’t even need to ask him about my family. I only need to make sure that they’ll stay safe. I don't know what he’s capable of and I don’t want to hear it anyway. I can imagine how dangerous and reckless they are. 

I start breathing faster and he sees that. He got what he wanted. He got me. He won. 

“I hope you understand me. There's no need to be scared, as long as you keep being a good girl.“ he smiles and that makes me freak out. The anger inside me grows. Threatening me with my family goes too far but people like him don’t care. I know it's over.

I nod, knowing that nothing will be like it's been before... Knowing that I'll never be happy, see Romy, my family or be myself ever again. It's killing me but that's only the beginning.

When we exit the mansion the sun is already setting. Our conversation took more than an hour and after he had a little talk with red hood, he told us that we could leave. I'm so angry that I almost forget about my frustration.

We walk to the car and when I feel his hand on my arm again, I explode. He doesn’t always have to hold me or lead me wherever we go. He should know that I gave up. 

“Don't touch me! I can walk by my own and I won't run away! Don't worry!“ I say, harsher than wanted, looking straight into his eyes and regret it in the same second. His eyes are making me feel some type of way and seeing how he looks at me makes me weak. 

He keeps looking at me, instead of saying anything so I get into his car and sit there, looking at him while he runs his hand over his face. Then he gets in as well and I can't help myself but start crying silently.