All Night

Higher walls

Toni

I already feel tired and exhausted, which means that I gotta make her calm down and fall asleep somehow before she gets on my nerves and I get angry because that will make it impossible for me to sleep.

Seeing her horny already makes me feel some type of way and that makes my situation even worse. I can't stop looking at her and as if that wouldn't be enough, the way she walks makes me feel even worse because for some reason she’s getting hotter with every second. It f***s me up. It f***s me up that I feel like this. But that's normal. Everyone would be attracted to a girl like her but I need to concentrate.

He told me that I need to take care of her and that's all I'm going to do. Then I'll disappear again and pick her up to work. Not more. 

She gets out and her hands are still shaking. She looks better but I can see how uncomfortable she's feeling. She probably didn’t puke. It would’ve been better if she would’ve done that.

“I need to do something. I need to get myself back together. Slap me!” she says and I raise my eyebrows. Then I slap her just like she wanted me to. Just a little harder than she probably expected. Her jaw drops and she puts one hand on her cheek.

“You... You f*****g, stupid asshole!” she says and I furrow my eyebrows. I love it when she swears… 

“Watch your mouth. You told me to slap you.” I say and she clenches her jaw. “I wasn't serious!” she says and I shake my head. She’s childish. Stupid. “Don't day things you don't mean.” I say. She rolls her eyes.

Lucille 

“We're going upstairs. You need to calm down.” he says and walks towards the stairs. I shake my head. “No.” I say and feel my heart racing again. I said no to him. I resisted. 

He turns around with a raised eyebrow, looking as if he didn’t hear right.

I look at the people that are walking past us. Then I come a few steps closer and whisper “You can't make me horny and euphoric and lock me in my room afterwards.” I look away because I’m embarrassed.

“I can't deal with you right now.” he is really annoyed and my cheek is still burning. Suddenly he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I scream and punch his back. He wraps one of his muscular arms around my legs and puts his other hand on my butt. My eyes widen but he can’t see that. I get goosebumps with his touch because since my dress is very short, he's touching my bare skin. 

“I don't want to go upstairs.” I say, loud enough for him to hear it. “Shut up.” he says and I get angry. “Make me!” I say, almost screaming and moving so he'll let me go. How can he carry me this easily? Especially when I try to free myself? 

“That won't happen because if I do you'll moan.” he says and I freeze. “Disgusting douchebag.” I say totally disgusted. “Hot thot.” I slap his shoulder.

Does he always have to have the last word every time after I offend him? “I'm not!” I say when we're already standing in front of the door.

He opens it, walks in and turns the lights on. Then he locks the door and lets me on the ground, really roughly. I punch his chest but he doesn't look like that's bothering him. I fix my hair, fold my arms in front of my chest and turn around.

“Do you even know how f*****g hot you are when you are angry?” he asks, raising a brow. I turn my head to him and furrow my eyebrows. “Stop.” I say with a shaking voice and turn back around. My cheeks are getting warm. I can’t look at him. I'm already ready to do anything for him and that he's turning me on with his deep voice makes it all even worse.

I can hear him coming closer until I feel his hand between my hair. His gentle and soft touch makes me dizzy. 

“What…?” he quietly asks but he knows very well what he’s doing to me. I close my eyes. “This.” it feels so good but he needs to stay away from me. I can't let myself go.. 

Toni

She turns around and looks at me. 

I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer. So close that there isn't even space left to breathe. She looks so tired and exhausted. Her pupils are getting smaller. She's sweating, she's warm but she's not shaking anymore. I put my hand on her cheek and wipe the sweat on her face away. She closes her eyes, as if my touch makes her feel better.

When she opens her eyes, she looks even more tired. She looks frustrated and broken. She’s in a state where everything she feels comes to the surfaced unable to hide. Her eyes are admitting everything that she won't admit by herself... She's trying to act strong and hide how hurt and afraid she is. I can see that. But she can't hide it and I'm destroying her…

It's turning me on that she's doing everything I want. That's the bad side of me. No matter how much I'd love to sympathize with her… I just can't because I'm an emotionless bastard.

Lucille

This feels so good. It shouldn't feel good. I shouldn't be amazed by his muscular arms, his sharp jaw and his eyes right now and he shouldn't look at me like this right now.

I get goosebumps and he looks down at me. I start blushing really hard and shaking a little bit again. Is that normal?

“Don't be afraid, princess.” he says and I don't even care about him calling me princess again, no matter how much I hate it. We already had that fight and now we’re here. Remembering what he said makes my heart burn again but right now his hand is between my hair and I love that. I even enjoy it when he says it with a deep and raspy voice…

“Don't do this to me… I'll hate myself.” I admit, shaking my head. His grip tightens and he looks right into my eyes. He's the devil. It's killing me how much I want him.

“You want me. Tell me that you want me…” he says. He’s gaslighting me… Is this real? I feel like I'm burning in his fire. I can't take it anymore. I wrap my arms around him and press my body against his. “I want you.” I say, almost losing my mind, with a shaky voice that shows how weak I am.

He's already destroying me, he won’t mind knowing how weak I am. How could I resist? I didn't want to admit and accept it until now but he's so hot, handsome, big and attractive, sooner or later I would do anything for him. He only needs to say it. That’s pathetic but I can’t control it.

“Say it again. Louder...” he says. I think my heart is already leaving my body, with my soul together. I have nothing else to lose. Can he do it already instead of teasing me like this? I want to know if he feels the same way as me. He has to. If not, why would he want to hear this from me?

I close my eyes and say “I want you.” not mumbling. He knows how close I am to just beg him to do things that I would've never thought of before…

Toni

I can't hold myself back. I tightly grab the back of her neck and lean my forehead against hers. I start breathing heavier and so does she.

I can't do this… It's the cocaine that makes her so horny. It's only lust. Nothing more and I'm not going to make this mistake. I just can't. No matter how much I want it. It would be wrong and I can't do this to us.

Neither to her nor to myself. 

Yes, she's making me freak out and horny but I can’t betray my boss.

“Please.” she whispers and I close my eyes and clench my jaw. She sounds so desperate and needy. This is wrong. More than wrong. I need to distance myself from her. I only need to do my job. I know how much she wants and needs this, especially right now but unfortunately I don't care.

I knew it would be the cocaine and I'm pretty thankful that it diminished and stopped me from doing the wrong thing at the right moment.

What did I think? This would ruin everything.

It's only lust. Not more and it never will be. I open my eyes. Hers are still closed. She's so naive. I get closer to her ear and whisper “You didn't really think that I would kiss you… Did you?”

Then I let her go and back off. She looks like she's in pain. She opens her eyes and gives me a death stare. Her eyes are red and her lips are plump. I can feel her. I know how it is to be left hard.

“Don't worry princess, you'll lose your virginity soon.” I say and smirk. She punches me away. “Shut up and leave me alone.” making her angry is actually better than my actual job. I enjoy it a lot more.

She looks completely fed up and tired when she walks past me. I grab her arm and pull her back. “You are going nowhere. Take off your dress and lay down.” I say. She looks confused and shocked.

“First you tell me-..” she must've gotten something wrong. I cut her off because I can't stand it when she talks too much. “Keep your mouth shut for one f*****g time and do what I say.” I say, totally pissed.

She does what I say and lays down on her bed. I walk to her closet and look for an oversized sweater. When I find it and turn back to her, I see that she already fell asleep. That worked out faster than I thought. Thank god. I have enough for today.

I touch her arm and her leg. She's still warm and sweating a little bit. I gently move her and pull the blanket over her.

Actually I would make her put her sweater on but I can't take the risk and wake her up again or gets sick because I'm the one who has to take care of her at the end. She could freeze in her lingerie…

She made me horny enough and I need sleep. Endless sleep. She's such a difficult person who needs a lot of attention. I thought this would be easier but it's not. I really feel like a babysitter. Couldn't Pablo choose someone more mature? And why is she so special to him?

I lay down next to her and rub my eyes. Then I look at her and make sure she's still breathing and living. It's a little bit weird that she fell asleep this fast but I’m glad that she did.

My eyes catch her chest and the curves of her body. I immediately look at the ceiling and close my eyes. Actually I should be leaving by now but I'm way too tired and dazed to drive or walk.

This is not going to change anything.

I'm not gonna catch feelings or some s**t. I need to keep treating her the way I always do. I need to keep being me. If I'm nice to her, then only because capo wants me to. She's a b***h, just like the other ones.

I'm going to wake her up tomorrow, give her some meds, visit Pablo with her and leave her alone for the rest of the night. She can have a day off... I need one too. It won't take me long to build a huge wall between us.