ELEVEN

Middle Finger

I’m now wearing my simple beige off shoulder dress matching my black boots. I don’t have a lot of clothes and aside from my poverty situation, I still want to live like a normal b***h.

Rylo said that I’ll go to his place and I am now eyeing the famous condo building here in South burnham. Well yeah, they are just close neighbors of the Bitchy “Mica”. He doesn't know her so it’s safe. But who knows?

I’m walking back and forth when someone who looked familiar raised his middle finger to me. What was that? I mean, I know that guy. He was also the one I saw from the restaurant and the guy who seemed to despise me. I felt like he has a long grudge over me and it’s his problem to deal with because I just know his name but looking at me like that and making a disgusting sign to me is beyond my imagination!

“Hey fucker! What was that?!”

He smirks at me and continues walking inside the building. Don’t tell me he was also connected to my boyfriend? ah nevermind. What’s taking him so long? I felt like a chaperone here. Maybe I should call him right now because mosquitos are partying here at my side.

It’s just ringing. Did he just sleep? tsk. He was wasting my time. I should just text him to meet tomorrow because I am going to accompany my brother later to a barber shop. Unless, he will answer the phone or better yet come out now!

I’m getting annoyed now. He doesn’t bother to text me that the dinner will be postponed. Ugh! I should know better that he was like that even online when he said to me like we will video call later but he didn’t answer my call. Instead, I’ll just see the posted picture of him with his friends.

Right, he’s still the same and I know I loved him. I tried to be considerate about everything he does even if sometimes he makes mistakes like he cheats, ignores me or chooses his friends over me. I just couldn't leave him because despite everything he did, he still came back and apologized to me in a sincere face. And I hate that. I think my love for him fades and the feeling of hatred towards him is growing in me.

I am now in our humble home. It’s not that big and just looks modernized outside but the furniture and everything aren’t in better condition now. All were old and fading. Something is bothering me while putting my keys under my drawer. Should I call him and just break up with him? Wait. I can’t do that when he is asleep.

I can’t face him anymore and I realized if we continue this relationship, I’ll meet his family and he might offer marriage and countless issues or scandal that he will make in the future would be the death of me! swear!

I started to type a message.

“...Hello Rylo, It was nice having a relationship with you but I don’t think we are perfect for each other but thank you for accepting me despite being a poor kind of girlfriend, you didn't judge me. I can’t be the person who will play with you in the future. I hope you understand that, I loved you before and always take care! you are doing great. I think this is for the better and always be happy Ry!”

I send it and keep my phone off. It’s still early in the evening and I just decided to accompany my brother to a salon but in the Philippines because we are asians, it’s known to us as a Barber Shop

I saw him again. This time, he seems hot and though before, he just passed at me, the case right now is different. He stopped midway and for the first time I heard him speak.

"I know what you did. Maybe you are cooking something right now?”

I got puzzled at the moment. I want to ask what he was trying to imply when I got back my senses, he already left.

“Ate who was that? He looks familiar!”

I didn’t notice that my brother Lei was already beside me. I look closely at him only to be satisfied with how he has become. He got cuter and looked great.

“He is nothing. Where are we going next? Should we go home now?”

“Nah. We can play arcade! Are you in Ate?”

“Well yeah let's go!”

Lei and I bond together today and It was a great feeling because aside from being my only sibling, it’s a rare moment to spend time together at this age where I’m 22 years old now, a graduating college student while Lei is 19 years old. Not everyone would choose to have a quality time with their sisters especially that both of you are now getting mature. In our case, the closeness was still there and everything might change but life goes on and bigger priorities will come but never will we leave our family.

This is getting out of hand. As I opened my phone I saw nothing. Rylo has never replied to my break up message. Maybe he just reads it and goes on with his life because that’s his way of moving on?

I didn't know that I started feigning ignorance awhile ago. I just felt like I saw Rylo but I might be mistaken. He can at least reply to me but honestly speaking, I am not sure if it's him though. I only saw the back of him and it felt like it was him but I think he wasn't! Aaaa nevermind! I just believed that he needs time and we can have our closure if he wants too.

My brother and I decided to go home. I am not feeling well too. I think a lot of things and this must be so tragic. Why the hell I am even thinking a lot? I should not bother myself about my ex! yes! we broke up! I at least know that I break up with him but I might be the only one who thinks that way..? right! this is the reason why it got me thinking things! I cannot!