Life Without You

Chapter 1 - Eva

Hi my name is Eva Barton, I’m 18 years old and I’m half werewolf. Well we might as well address the elephant, or rather wolf, in the room straight away hadn’t we? I’ve always known that I’m half werewolf. My dad never hid that fact from me, and I’m glad that he didn’t. Right from being really tiny I always knew that there was a chance that one day I might be able to change into a wolf. When I was 12 I got the shock of my life when my wolf first started to talk to me in my head. I never imagined that the wolf part of me wasn’t really me, but rather a wolf that lives in my head and takes over my body to change it into a wolf sometimes. I was always a bit of a dreamer and I spent a lot of time in my own head as a child, dreaming of the many different lives that I could live and the many different things that I could be when I got older, so I guess it makes sense for the whole thing to completely freak me out when there was someone or rather something else in my head with me. Anyway, as I was saying, I was 12 years old when I realised that I was definitely more werewolf than human, and 16 years old when the voice, Nya, first took over my body and shifted me into a beautiful, pale tan wolf. My father always explained what he could, but he couldn’t answer most of my questions. He couldn’t even answer one of the easiest questions that I have. Which is, why is my mum not here with us? Every time that I asked him, I just got some bullshit excuse about how she loved me very much but she couldn’t live in the human world anymore. About how it wasn’t safe for any of us if she stayed with us. How she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving me, but how she knew that my father would give me an amazing life, that I wouldn’t have with her. It’s a whole load of bullshit, right? Basically she didn’t love me and my dad enough to stay with us. It had been a huge mistake for her to leave her werewolf life and try to live as a human, so she left me with him. Now I’m not after sympathy, this isn’t some pathetic poor me story, because for all my mother didn’t love me enough, my dad did his best to make up for it, and he completely showered me in love. He has been the most amazing dad that I could have ever dreamed of, but he isn’t a werewolf and however hard he tries, he can’t fully explain that part of me. He is a surfer, or at least he was until he got too old to do it professionally. Now he teaches others how to surf, and he is the most amazing teacher. Anyway, despite not having a mother for most of my life, I have had a fantastic life. I have travelled all over the world with my dad, whilst he was competing, and I have seen so many things that most people never will. It’s no coincidence that the best surf spots are also the most beautiful places in the world. Like this place that we are in now. It’s beautiful, although not exotic, it has a lot of charm.

“I really like this place Scott. It’s got good vibes. Don’t you think?” Sunny asks my father, and suddenly the memories of catching a glimpse of sea turtles hatching from their eggs under the moonlight is gone. Throwing mackerel to wild dolphins from the side of a boat is gone, and the fresh morning breeze against my face as I walk along an amazing deserted beach at sunrise whilst the crystal clear waves tickle my ankles is gone.

“Yes I do. It looks great, it’s certainly got a lot of potential.” My father replies as his eyes roam around the vacant beach front shop.

“I like it too.” Nya says excitedly in my head. “It smells like wolf.” She adds with a playful growl.

“Really. Are you sure that’s a good thing?” I ask her in bewilderment. It’s not the first time that she has smelt wolf before, but it’s the first time that she has smelt wolf and been happy about it.

“Yes. It smells like a nice wolf.” She says enthusiastically, and I shake my head as if to dismiss her thoughts on the matter. I have no idea how she can tell what type of wolf it is just by a smell, maybe it smells like chocolate to her. I read a book once where someone thought that a werewolf smelt like chocolate, but whenever Nya has smelt wolves before, it definitely hasn’t smelt like chocolate to me, more like wet dog mixed with rotten eggs. I sniff the air discreetly whilst I shake my head hoping that I don’t look too ridiculous, but I’m not really sure what I can smell. It definitely isn’t wet dog or rotten eggs, but I don’t think it smells much like chocolate either.

“You don’t like it sweetheart?” My dad asks, probably noticing my head shake.

“No, I like it, it’s great.” I say changing my head shake into an emphatic nod.

“Fantastic because I was hoping that you and Sunny would run this place together. I will pay the lease and any fees, but it will be for you and Sunny to run. I can help out with lessons until you feel ready to do them all yourself, but this feels like a good place for the two of you to start your own empire.” He says with one of his infectious smiles.

“That would be incredible. That’s so generous isn’t it babe?” Sunny says as he walks over to me and rests his arm around my shoulders before pulling me close to kiss the top of my head. I will my mouth to say something in response, but no words will come out. I turn my head to Sunny’s and kiss him on his cheek instead. I feel Nya scowl in my head, and I try to push her thoughts out of my mind. Most things I know about being a werewolf I know because of Nya. One thing she has been telling me pretty consistently since my 18th birthday, eight months ago, is that we have a mate out there somewhere. Someone who will make us feel complete. The person that is a perfect match for us. It all sounds wonderful and romantic but incredibly impractical. I know my mum is a werewolf, my dad thinks that she was quite an important werewolf, which is why she ultimately had to go back to the werewolf world, but she was very rebellious and impulsive. Well she had to be, she went against her families wishes and ran away with a human surfer to avoid being married to someone her father arranged for her. According to my father, he fell in love with my mother as soon he saw her and the two of them were inseparable for weeks until he had to leave town for a series of competitions. When he got back after a couple of months she was waiting for him and they became totally inseparable for the next 2 years. Apparently their lives were great. They travelled and lived out of suitcases for much of those 2 years but after I was born the romance of it all wore off. I guess it’s hard to live out of a suitcase with a newborn, and they settled down for a while before my mum left to rejoin her pack. Once she was gone my father went back to the circuit on his own, except for me. I have no idea which pack she belonged to. Not that knowing would make any difference. I don’t know of any werewolf packs, and I wouldn’t have a clue how to find one. It’s not like you can Google them and get an email address and a phone number for them. But even if I did know how to find her, I don’t think I would want to. She might want to know me now that I can shift into an impressive wolf, but I don’t think I want to know her. I like my life just the way it is, and I am happy with my simple human boyfriend, even if Nya isn’t. Sunny was a surfer too, just not quite good enough to compete professionally, and now he teaches others how to surf, with my dad. The two get along great and I can see myself having quite a good life with him, I just have to convince Nya that he is better for us than the fated mate that she is holding out hope of bumping into somewhere eventually.