Song of Torment

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter 13: Her Reason

“What’s this?” I asked Matthew.

He just got home that evening. I was cooking in the kitchen for our dinner when I heard his voice calling me. I was about to greet him when he gave me a black envelope. I took the letter inside and read it.

“Is that why you left me?” he asked. My hands are shaking as I read the letter that is written in red. “Because you made a deal with him? So he would let you live?”

“I...” I tried to say something but I can’t find the right words to say to him right now. My hands are shaking and my body is trembling because it felt like I was back into that place again. It’s like I’m hearing that automated voice again.

“Is he also the one who killed our baby?” he asked again.

I held on the counter to help myself and keep standing.

“What else did that bastard do?!” he yelled making me started and fell on the floor. I can even feel my body shaking in fear. “F*ck!”

He tried to touch me I push him away and move away from him.I was already crying and having a hard time breathing.

“I’m sorry,” he said and tried to touch me again but I scream in horror and shirked in fear. At that moment, I can’t see him as my husband anymore, I don’t see him as who he is. All I can see is that horrifying face wearing a mask and all I could hear is that automated sound of his voice.

I was having a panic attacked and I can’t calm myself. That seen from 9 years ago kept on repeating in my head.

“Cassidy.”

That’s the last thing I heard before I pass out.

*

“What happened?” Heiz asked. I look at Cassie who is now sleeping but she keeps on tossing around and murmuring something.

After she cried and screamed earlier she just pass out. I was about to take her to the hospital then but she told me not to when she regain consciousness before passing out again. I just took her to my room to get some sleep. It was already midnight when she started having a nightmare. I tried waking her up but she’s not waking up. She’s already sweating a lot and her face is so pale that’s why I decided to call Heiz.

“She just passed out earlier. I was about to take her to the hospital but she told me not to. Now she’s having a nightmare. She’s not waking up,” I told her over the phone.

“Sh*t,” she cussed. “I can’t go there right now because I can’t leave Ros alone!”

I was pacing around the bed where Cassie is. She’s now sleeping again but she’s still sweating a lot and her face is still pale.

“What should I do?” I said in a low voice.

“Just...” she breathes. “Stay with her. Don’t leave her until she wakes up. I’ll be there first thing in the morning,” she said.

I went first to the bathroom to get a towel and wipe off her sweat. Then I went to my closet and get some clean clothes and change her. I lay down next to her when she murmurs something so I just put her head on my arms and hug her to sleep.

Just like what Heiz said, she was here first thing in the morning with Ros.

“Where are the medicines she bought?” she asked me. Ros was playing with his toys in the living room.

I look for the medicine that Cassie bought before I took her here then gave it to Heiz. She looks into it and then put them all on table there. All in all, there three types of medicines in there.

“Give this to her when she wakes up. Then this one, give her two tablets if she will have another episode. This one is for her insomnia. I don’t know if she still takes it because she still can’t have a decent sleep anyway.”

I looked into the three bottles of medicine in front of me then to Heiz.

“Now tell me what happen for her to have another episode of panic disorder?” she asked.

I gave her the letter instead of answering me. She reads it and just sigh.

“No wonder she’s like this again,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“This is the Cassidy I met 9 years ago. So fragile and broken,” she started. “When we met again, she had another episode. She keeps on repeating ‘Please let me live. Not my baby’. She didn’t even see for months after that and we only talked over the phone. She is deeply traumatized from what happened to her before.”

“And this letter triggered that again,” I said and Heiz just nod.

“I never knew the whole story. I was so afraid to even asked Rei about it because I was afraid this might happened.”

She gather her things and checked on Cassie again.

“Please spare her from the pain, Matt. I know that you’ve also been through a lot and also in pain after all these years. But please, don’t let her go though that hell again. I know it’s hard but if you still love her, just cut the chase and be with her. And if not, just make her go away,” Heiz said before leaving with her son.

Feeling so drain, I sat on the couch and closed my eyes to think of the situation.

What do I know so far? When Cassie was kidnap, she is with her brother. She made a deal with this guy Rum to save herself and in return, she will leave me. But according to her story, she was kidnap again and that’s when she lose our baby.

But why? Why would Rum want Cassie out of my life? And who is he really?

I was awaken when I felt someone brushing my hair. I didn’t even know I fell asleep at the couch while I was thinking about things.

“Sorry,” Cassie said and move her hand away but I caught it and held it tightly. I even caressed his face with my other hand to make sure she’s real then look into her eyes.

“I’m so worried.”

This time I didn’t stop myself. I let myself hug her tightly and even kiss her hair. I even felt my eyes moisten from tears.

“Matthew.”

She hugged me back and brush my hair again to calm me down. I just pulled away when my phone rang and saw that it was Ethan.

“Tap found him. What do we do now?” Ethan said. I look at Cassie and then walk away from her so she won’t hear our conversation.

“Where is he?” I asked him.

“Well, it was so easy for Tap to find him. Actually, it seems like he wants us to find him,” Ethan said. “He requested us to fight him on a underground battle.”

“What?”

“Tap found this infamous club that usually do an underground battle. He found out that the Ministry of Sin gang is currently member of this club.”

An underground battle. If I’m not mistaken, this had been operating for years now. My father’s gang was part of that club and my mom once fought my father in this underground battle.

“I had a talk with this guy called Scheduler. He said we can meet Ministry of Sin through a battle only.”

“Accept it,” I told him.

“I knew you would say that. I already accepted it. Let’s meet at the HQ now,” he said then ended the call.

“You found him.”

I was startled when I heard Cassie’s voice behind me.

“Yeah. I asked Ethan about it,” I said. I gave her then medicine that Heiz told me to. “Here. Heiz told me that you should take this when you woke up.”

I walk to my closet to find some clothes to wear.

“Can I go with you?” she asked that made me stop and look at her. “I’m already part of RL and you’re going to meet the others to talk about this guy, right?”

I saw her clenching her fist and then she bite her lip that made me sigh. From the looks of her, she is trying her best to not be afraid but it shows how much fear she’s feeling right now.

“Just stay here,” I said. I took my clothes and was about to got to the bathroom when she speaks again.

“But I want to. I want to go with you plan things on how to defeat him. I want to fight him,” she said then look me intently in the eyes. “I want to kill him.”

I look at her for a minute. Knowing Cassie, even if I tell her no, she would still insist and do things in her own way. So I didn’t say a word and went inside the bathroom.

She’s no longer in that room when I step out. She’s no where to be seen but when I went to the parking lot, she’s already there waiting beside my car. I just shook my head on how stubborn she could get.

“Are you sure about this?” I ask her when we got into our destination. “You might-”

“I’m fine,” she cuts me off. “I’ll be fine.”

The others were already there when we got inside the office. Harp look sharply at Cassie who sat down on the empty chair that is next to mine.

“What is she doing here?” Harp asked.

“As I’ve said before, she’s now part of Rhapsody Legacy. She will fill in the position that Cello left,” I told her then look at Ethan. “Let’s start.”

“As I’ve said over the phone, the only way that we can meet this gang is through the underground battle where in this gang is actually a member,” Ethan said then look at Harp and Shawm. “We will be battling their strongest member to tonight.”

“How do we know if they’ll really come?” Cassie asked.

“Well, their reputation will be ruin if they wouldn’t. Every member of this club will come to watch the battle. Rhapsody is also a well-known gang in this country and the strongest in Asia while this Ministry of Sin happens to hold the title of the strongest gang in the country. If they wouldn’t come, that only means they’re afraid to fight us.”

I held Cassie’s hand that is under the table.

“Is their leader coming?” I asked, talking about Rum. “I don’t want to fight his puppets.”

“He is,” Ethan said then look at Cassie. I felt her squeezing my hand.

We are about to end the meeting when Harp asked something.

“Are you not gonna tell us why this guy called Rum is also after you?” she asked Cassie.

I cussed under my breath. I also saw Ethan who is beside her and trying to stop her to say another word.

“We’ll tell you some other time,” I said but Harp won’t just stop until she gets some answers.

“Then I’m not coming. You also can’t go to that battle because that’s the rule.”

Damn this brat. We had this rule that if one of the members of RL won’t agree to a battle, then no battle battle will happen unless everyone agrees.

I look at Cassie and saw her just looking at Harp who is also looking sharply at her.

“You asked me before,” Cassie started. I felt her holding my hand even tighter as if she’s trying to get some strength from me. “You asked me before on why I did those things. Why I left your brother and hurt him badly.”

“Cass, you don’t have to,” I told her but she didn’t stop.

“Well this is my answer. That guy that we’re about to face is the reason why I left him because if I didn’t, that guy would kill me just like how he killed my brother.”

I saw a tear fall from her eyes but her face remained stern as she tells the truth and her reason from that painful memory 9 years ago.

“He promise to spare my life but in return, I need to leave your brother and never show my face in front of him. I agreed to that deal because I need to live,” she said and touch her flat belly. “For our unborn child.”

Rhyme covered her mouth with her hands as she began to cry while Ryle is trying to comfort her. Ethan is just sighing and looking away from us as if he can’t bear to see this happening.

“But then, he still managed to kill my baby,” Cassie sob and tried to stop her again but she just shook her head. “That’s why I decided that I need to be strong enough to face that demon again. I want to remove that masked he is wearing and hear his real voice while screaming from the pain I will give him.”

“Stop please,” I told her. I took her bag and look for her medicine but she stopped me.

“Just hold my hand,” she said before looking at Rhyme again. “You also asked me why I came back. Well, I have nothing to lose now. I made that deal to save my baby but now that he’s gone, I don’t have any reason to stay away from Matthew.”

Cassie took a deep breath to calm herself.

“Now, are we going for a battle?”

—