The Lost Alpha

A Step Towards Freedom

ANDY

“What does that mean?”

“It means that she had already been mated and marked.” Alpha Morris explained, a tinge of sadness in his voice. He spoke with his eyes downcast. “Our wolves were bonded. At that point, when they killed her wolf, she also died.” He looked slowly up at me and spoke the next part very carefully. “The only way to get him to stop, to get any of his possible supporters to stop, is for you to be mated.”

“But if I’m marked, leaving will be nearly impossible. My wolf won’t let me.”

“Yes.”

“And if I can’t leave, then everything I’ve worked so hard for will be trash. I can say goodbye to medical school.” I was suddenly getting angry. Nothing was going the way I had planned. I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t want to be a werewolf. I didn’t want to be at the center of a plot to kill people. I stood abruptly. “I can’t talk about this right now.”

“Andrea –“

“My name is Andy!” I raised my voice. “And I am done having this conversation!”

Alpha Morris didn’t say anything as I turned and left the room. Beta Theo didn’t say anything either when I passed him just outside the door.

I slammed my door as hard as I could when I finally made it to my room. No, this wasn’t my room. This was a place I was staying. My room was back at the home that I shared with my father. No, Douglas Wesson was not my father. No, that wasn’t right. His name wasn’t even Douglas Wesson. It was Jarod Baylor, Bane. We weren’t even biologically related. According to Alpha Morris he had kidnapped my mother, in turn kidnapping me because nobody knew she was pregnant. He lied to me my entire life. But he was the man who raised me. He had never once hurt me. He gave me anything I asked for – martial arts lessons, riding lessons, any book I wanted. He encouraged me to pursue any and every interest I ever had an inkling in. But he had been lying to me the entire time.

My mind was in total conflict. I didn’t know these people. I didn’t know what their motives were. I didn’t know what they wanted from me. Well, I knew what Alpha Morris wanted. He wanted an heir, someone to take over for him when he finally stepped down. But that wasn’t what I wanted. I wasn’t a leader. I wasn’t someone people followed and did what I told them.

I wanted to go to medical school. I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to help people, not lead them.

“As an Alpha, you do both.” Faolan spoke up. “And it’s in our blood. It’s who we are meant to be.”

”It’s not who I want to be.” I argued. “And blood means nothing.”

“Blood means everything in a pack. And the pack means everything. The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.” Faolan reminded me.

“I’ve done pretty well on my own so far.” I grumbled.

“You didn’t know any better. You were lied to.”

“Please don’t remind me.” I took a deep breath. I put my hands in my hair and began to massage my scalp. My head was starting to hurt.

“You need to shift.” I could feel Faolan sigh at me.

“How is that going to help anything?” I asked.

“You need to let me out, and just sit back and let someone else take over for a little while.” She explained. “We need to run.”

“I’m not ready for this.” I shook my head. “I’m not ready for any of this.”

I took dinner in my room. I didn’t want to see anyone or talk to anyone. Not yet. I didn’t want the questions, or the looks, or to hear the whispers from people wondering what my decision was going to be. I was confused, and angry.

I was lying in bed reading, trying to take my mind of things, trying to make my head stop hurting, when my text alert went off. It was from Michael.

Hey. Sorry I haven’t been around much today.

It’s okay. I needed some time alone. I watched the three little dots appear indicating Michael was typing.

Well, that’s why I’m texting you. I can’t come by tonight. My father has things he needs me to do.

I sighed. Part of me was disappointed that he wasn’t coming. Just him being near made me feel better. But the other side of me was relieved. I still needed to be alone to work through things.

It’s okay. Just promise I’ll get to see you tomorrow.

I promise.

I smiled at my phone. Of everyone here, Michael was the one person who wasn’t pressing me to decide. He had made it clear that the decision was mine, and that no matter what, he wouldn’t be mad at me for it. But somehow, that also put more pressure on me.

I tossed my book aside and turned out the light. I stared at the ceiling, willing myself to fall asleep. I closed my eyes and turned over. Then, I tried the other side. Breathing exercises, counting, telling myself stories. Nothing was working. My head still hurt. I couldn’t sleep.

“It’s time to run.” Faolan said quietly. “We need to run.”

“It was unbelievably painful last time. I don’t want to go through that again.” I argued.

“It gets easier each time you do it.” Faolan’s voice was gentle. “Soon, it won’t hurt at all.”

I stared at the ceiling again. Well, I wasn’t sleeping anyway, so I might as well give it a try.

“What do I do?”

“To start with, go outside.”

I quietly made my way through the pack house to a back door. About 100 yards from the house was the tree line for the forest.

“Go to the trees.” Faolan instructed.

“It’s late. And dark. I don’t know if I should be doing this.”

“We need to do this. It’s your first full moon. We are two minds in one. You can’t keep me locked away. I need my own time to take over.” Faolan urged me. I took a step and stopped.

“I’m still not sure.” I told her. “Part of me still thinks I’m dreaming, that I’m crazy.”

“You aren’t crazy. You’re a werewolf.” Faolan urged me forward, and I let her. I had to accept that she was a part of me, and I needed to learn more about her. She obviously wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It would be better to get this over with now than to force her to wait. Faolan wasn’t the waiting type, that much I knew.

I walked across and stepped behind a tree to strip down. She had already ruined one shirt. I didn’t want another in shreds.

“Just relax.” Faolan told me. I took a breath and closed my eyes. Faolan was right, while it still hurt, it wasn’t as bad as it had been that first time. “It’s easier when you’re relaxed.”

I fell forward onto all fours. It was dark out, but with Faolan in charge, I could hear, smell, and see everything around me. She stretched out her body and yawned.

“Oh, we needed this.”

“I’m beginning to think you were right.” I said with a little chuckle. This did feel good. I could sit back and let Faolan take the lead. Everything that was going on inside the pack house didn’t matter anymore. Now, it was just the two of us, and the moon light. I was beginning to understand the importance of Faolan and my relationship. We were two minds, but we were one body.