A Tale Beyond Destiny

Chapter 6: Closeness (Caleb)

The whole ride on the way to the nearest mall in my condominium was silent. So silent that I could feel the awkwardness that was seeping between Caliana and I. No one dared to talk. Both of us were even afraid of making even the slightest noise and we just kept on focusing our attention on something inside the car; though I should probably say that was what she had been doing all this time, because I was trying to focus on the road even though my mind was filled of the thoughts of her, and the awkwardness between the two of us.

All of this has happened because of what happened earlier at my house when I decided that I should already prepare for our plan for the day. It was when I got so starstruck by her beauty. It was when I saw her descending the staircase as if she was kind of a member of the royal family.

I did not know why, but the moment that I saw her, even though she was just wearing my old shirt and pants which she styled so that it would look decent enough and did not look like a rug, that moment felt like magical to me. That moment, it felt like she was the most beautiful, gorgeous even, person that I ever laid my eyes on. It was as if the Caliana that I always see inside of my house was not the Caliana that I saw earlier, though I guess that it was just all in my mind because I thought that it was too ridiculous to be true.

The moment that the words that I just said to her this morning had slipped out of my mouth, I could suddenly feel the tension and the awkwardness between the two of us. I saw how she got shocked and her face became redder than usual. And I, on the other hand, got frozen in place as realization struck me for real. The realization that I just said it out loud, even though I intend to just keep it all inside of my mind.

After that awkward and heart-stopping scene, I tried to find a way in order for me to escape her watchful eyes and I tried as hard as I could to evade what she would say because of the embarrassment that I felt. I tried to avoid her, even though I knew that I was bound to fail because of our plan for the day, and up until the moment that we were about to reach the mall, I still had not said any single word to her. I still kept quiet because I could not seem to remove the thought of what just happened earlier.

Of course, I tried to calm myself down. I tried to remove those thoughts inside of my head, saying that it was just alright, those embarrassing moments were bound to happen and it was inevitable, but still, the heat in my face, and the reddening of my cheeks, was still evident up until now. It was as if I could not remove those thoughts even though I tried to do so.

I let out a sigh as I maneuvered my car into the entrance of the parking lot of the mall, and that was the moment that I felt her gaze on mine that made me prepare myself because I knew that she would ask me a question. That stare was so intense that it made me almost want to crawl out of my car, which I could not possibly do because I was the one who was driving my car. So, instead of doing something so embarrassing again, I just let out a sigh again as I cleared my throat because it suddenly felt like my car was too cramped.

“Are you avoiding me?” I heard her ask me, confusion was evident in her voice.

There it is. That d*mned question that I so wanted to avoid. That question, which I knew would be a sign to me that I had just dug my own grave. That question made me realize how absurd it must be for her to see how I got so awestruck at her. That made me realize how ridiculous this whole situation was.

Before I decided that I should just answer her, I first cleared my throat to remove the sudden nervousness that I felt just because I heard that question from her. Then, for the first time ever since that embarrassing scene had happened between the two of us, I managed to meet her gaze; though it was just for a brief moment, because I could still feel the awkwardness between the two of us.

“What makes you think of that?” I asked her as I focused my attention on safely parking my car in the underground parking lot of the mall. “I cannot possibly do something like that towards you, you know?” I lied, because of the urge that I wanted to evade the question that would come from her

Caliana looked at me for almost a minute now, and even though the car was already parked in the underground car park of the mall, none of us decided to go out. It seems like what had happened between the two of us needed a serious talk, even if I really think that it was not really the case because, after all, it just happened because I was too embarrassed and I could not seem to move on from what happened this morning.

After a few minutes of silence, with her staring right at me, and me, who was trying not to look at her because I knew that she would catch something about it and would figure out had been happening.

“You know that you are not so good at lying, are you?” she asked me, which made me snap my head towards her, so fast that I almost feared that I might have a slight pain later. “It is too evident in your voice that you are lying, you know?”

I looked at her, and she just stared back at me. We did that for almost a few minutes as if we were testing the waters between us, before finally, I looked away from her as I let out an awkward laugh. It was so awkward that I almost wanted to cringe away but I could not, because again, I was in a small space with her and it was not so possible to do that.

“What makes you think that I am lying, huh?” I tried to evade her question as I tried to hold her gaze, though I failed, miserably, because of how intense it was, as if she was trying to get inside of my mind, though I did not know if a person could really do something like that or not.

I tried to tell myself, using my mind and not out loud, that I should just stay calm and I should just avoid her gaze so that she would not catch the expression that I had in my face. After all, even if I denied that I was lying, I knew that it was too obvious in my face that was why she was able to do something like that.

I have never been like that before.

Before I met her and saved her on that river, I was always conscious of my expression because I could remember that I promised to myself that I would not let anyone use my own emotion against me, and I always praised myself because I knew that I had always been doing my best to conceal what I truly felt.

I have always succeeded. I have always been so conscious of showing my true emotions, not until Caliana came and stayed in my house, and maybe also in my life. My constant work and activities have changed. My beliefs somewhat changed because of her. My not-so boring life became so full of laughs and smiles, and it was all thanks to her.

I almost smiled because of what I just thought, because I always believe that it was not really bad that she came into my life, but before I could even do that, I got stopped by a sudden laugh that I heard beside me. It was a laugh that made my heart beat so fast, even though it was not really that shocking. It was a laugh that seeped through the inside of my heart, though I could not possibly say that to her.

I was determined that I should not look at her again because I knew that she would catch every emotion that I would show, but the moment that I heard that laugh came from her, I immediately turned my attention at her, and there she was, looking at me while covering her mouth as she tried to stifle her laugh, but she was failing to do so.

“What are you laughing about?” I asked her and it almost came out as a whine, though I caught myself before that happened. “Is it so fun to watch me struggle, huh?” I even added that made her laugh out loud, the reserved look that she had on her face earlier was suddenly gone and was replaced by a carefree one. That look made me soften my gaze on her as I looked at her so fondly.

She laughed for a few more minutes, and I thought that it was one of the best things that I had ever heard in my life, before she finally tried to stop herself from laughing, to my dismay, though I could still hear that she was just trying to suppress it from me.

“Never mind what I said,” she said in between her laughs as she tried to wave our topic off, then she looked outside of my car as an excited glint was seen in her eyes. “Let us just go with our plans today, alright?” She looked at me, and that same look on her face was still evident.

“Our plans...” I liked those words that came from her. It was as if she was very excited about this plan, and she was glad that I was the person who was with her. I liked that she wanted to enjoy this day, with me at her side. “Alright, then I guess that we should go out of my car now and look for the clothes that you can wear,” I said as I prepared to get out of my car and as I removed my seatbelt, but I stopped when I realized something.

I looked at Caliana’s side again and I was right with that ‘something.’ She still had not removed her seatbelt yet, and she was looking at it as if it had done something wrong with her, though it was not really the case. She still has not figured out how to remove and use that said thing, and I never asked her why she did not know anything about that because I thought that she did not want me to know, and I could not possibly force her to say something that she was not ready about yet.

After all, even though it was just as simple as cars or seat belts, I always thought that her reasons for not knowing absolutely anything about such things were a greater reason that she did not want to talk about, and I did not want to dig deeper than the information that she already shared with me.

I smiled to myself as I slightly shook my head before I leaned on her side, which made her gasp, in order for me to remove her seatbelt. After a few minutes, the seatbelt was already removed and that was the moment that I took a proper.

I heard her mumble a small thanks, before she took a proper seat again. We went silent for a few minutes, before I finally decided that we should really get going now, because I think that we had stayed inside of the car for a long time.

“I guess that we should probably get going now,” I said to her right after I cleared my throat, and that made her look in my direction again.

The excited look on her face finally returned when she heard that from me, and she immediately nodded her head at me. “Yes. We should go now,” she even said, which made me smile at her too, before I looked away to fetch my wallet and car keys.

“Wait here,” I told her as I started to open the door of my car. “I shall open the door for you,” I added as I looked at her, then I winked, before I completely went out of my car when I saw that her mouth opened as if she did not expected that I would do something like that.

I shook my head because of the silliness that I did, before I turned to open the door for her, and she just mumbled a small thanks again as I finally did so. Then, I led her towards the mall so that we could start buying some clothes for her.

As soon as we reached the section where the clothesline is, I saw how Caliana became so awed as she looked around the place. It was as if it was her first time for her to come to a mall too, because of how she had been acting.

“There are too many stores here!” she exclaimed, excitedly, as she kept on looking around the whole place, before she finally turned her attention on me again. “Will we enter these stores one by one?” she asked and I could see that she was thrilled with that thought, and that made me smile at her as I nodded my head.

“Yeah,” I answered her as I focused my attention on her. “Do not hesitate about picking clothes that you want to buy. It is all on me, so do not ever think of being shy, alright?” I even added, but I saw that she suddenly hesitated.

“Are you sure about that?” she asked me, and she was about to remove her gaze on mine, but I did not let her as I went near her and patted her head.

“S*lly,” I told her, fondness was evident on my voice as I did so. “I already told you that it is alright, so do not even bother on hesitating, alright?” I looked at her for a whole minute, and i did not remove my gaze at her, not until I saw that she slowly nodded her head, with a hint of hesitation, but I guess that it was already fine for me. That was when I took a step backwards to give her a space, as I said, “Then we should go and buy things now.”

I walked ahead of her, and I felt that she was just following me around the place. We started to go inside a clothing store that was famous for their stylish casual clothes, and we really did buy so many things inside. All of the clothes and dresses that caught Caliana’s attention were already on the shopping cart as I did not even hesitate in saying that they would really look so good on her.

We did the same thing as the first store until we reached the last one, getting all the clothes that caught her attention, trying them on, and buying them once both of us saw that they fitted her perfectly. To be a prank, we did not have any hard time choosing the clothes because almost all of the dresses that she tried looked so good on her; it was just my opinion and not hers because she always hesitated a bit, before I finally spoke up and said that it indeed looked so good on her.

We did that over and over again, until it was time for us to have some late lunch because we did not notice that it was already past noon because we were so focused on making her try almost every clothes that we could get, even the shoe store that we went to – we also did the same thing.

We went to the nearest restaurant that we saw, and that was the only time that we got to talk with one another. We talked about the things that we could come up with, though almost all those things were about the dresses that she chose. It was not until we finished eating that she finally decided that she should open up another topic; a topic that did not sit right for me, that is.

“Caleb, I did not mean to be rude but...” I heard her say, and that made me look at her as I hummed to tell her that it was just alright for her to keep on talking. She looked at me, cautiously, before she finally asked, “But I just want to ask if the place that I was staying at was already done?” she asked, and somehow, my heart dropped because of it.

Somehow, I did not like the idea of her leaving my place for her new home. Somehow, I did not like the idea of being all alone again as she would leave me just like everyone had done to me, after all these years.