I was a block from Cary Street before I knew where I was heading. My left arm felt tight, and I could feel my pulse racing. Not for the first time did the fear of a heart attack pass through me, but I suspected that today it was the fear of something else that was taking control of my heart.
The coffee shop was dark, and so were the windows of the apartment upstairs. Next door at the bar it was lively, the sounds of music and laughter spilling out onto the sidewalk whenever the front door opened to let someone in or out. I didn’t know how long I stood there, leaning against a straggly tree gazing up at Joshua’s apartment. My fingers itched to call or text him, beg him to come downstairs, or let me go up. I fished my phone out of my pocket and stared at the screen.
“The worst thing that c
