I sat crumpled on the floor, the weight of betrayal pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket. Time stretched on interminably as I struggled to regain my equilibrium.
Pain lanced through my waist and abdomen, a maddeningly indistinct blur of hurt that refused to be pinpointed.
'Should I apologize?' The thought made me want to laugh out loud in sheer exasperation. 'Was everything always to be laid at my feet?
Even his infidelity? am I the one who should apologize?'
Fenton and I had been inseparable since childhood, our love story spanning high school sweethearts to a marriage of two years, following an eight-year courtship. He had always been resolute in his desire for a child-free life, his disdain for the idea of parenthood a constant refrain. Fiona’s barbs about my supposed barrenness during holiday visits went unchallenged by him, as he stood by, a silent and rational observer.
I assumed he just didn't want to upset Fiona, so I plastered on a smile and blamed it on my health, never mentioning that it was his decision to be child-free.
It took Fiona’s desperate pleas for a grandchild to force the conversation, and even then, he only grudgingly agreed to forego contraception.
And now he wants to try having a child with Yolanda. The truth was stark; he didn’t reject fatherhood; he rejected it with me.
The pain in my stomach was unbearable. I couldn't get up, and the carpet was stained with blood. I forced myself to call Fenton, hoping he would take me to the hospital.
The phone barely rang once before he hung up. I tried again, and again.
On what felt like a desperate last attempt, he finally picked up, his voice oozing with smug satisfaction. "Liana, couldn’t stand the wait to apologize, could you? If it weren’t for Yolanda being so understanding and talking me into giving you another shot, you think this would just blow over like that?"
"This time, learn your lesson. Yolanda has the phone now. Show some gratitude and offer a sincere apology, and I might consider this incident forgotten," Fenton continued.
Then a sweet, coquettish voice came through. "Hello, Liana?"
I had no patience for her games, my forehead beaded with cold sweat. "Tell Fenton to get me to the hospital. Now. I need help."
To my utter disbelief, she burst into tears. "Ms. Lind, I know you’ve always looked down on us country kids! Calling me a s**t is one thing, but how could you say that Fenton is impotent!"
Fenton exploded with a barrage of insults, "Liana, how did you become so vicious? Some teacher you are!"
"Get to the hospital and save our baby!" I begged helplessly.
His voice turned icy. "You lied to me. Some things never change! I heard you tearing into Yolanda just fine. You were all good when we left, and now suddenly you’re pregnant and rushing to the hospital? That’s some pretty weak bullshit you’re trying to sell. Do you really think I’m buying it?! You’re a joke of a teacher!"
"You’d better start taking care of your own business. If you’re trying to get my attention with these little games, don’t be surprised if I walk out on you and file for divorce." With that, he slammed the phone down, leaving only the droning busy signal.
I stared at the phone screen, at the photo of us together, his once tender gaze now felt like a cruel mockery.
Thankfully, the ambulance arrived just in time, and the baby was saved.
As I stepped out of the obstetrics department, I was greeted by the sight of Yolanda, her eyes red and swollen, and Fenton, supporting her with one hand and holding several pregnancy reports with the other.
Fenton looked momentarily flustered when he saw me, but quickly regained his composure, whispering reassurances to Yolanda, "She’s right here, isn’t she, safe and sound? Only someone as kind-hearted as you would believe her nonsense. Now you can rest easy and take care of your baby, right?" His eyes met mine with undisguised contempt.
He was a master of mental gymnastics, always finding reasons and excuses to shirk responsibility, even when he knew he was in the wrong.
I once thought I had found happiness, but it turned out to be nothing but an illusion.
Yolanda chimed in, her face alight with a triumphant glow, her voice a contradiction of meekness, "Ms. Lind, don't be upset. Our child with Fenton can consider you their godmother later on. That should make your dream of being a mom come true, right?"