The Surrogate Betwixt

How did I ended up here?

Yesterday was my graduation. Even though I had nobody there to see me graduate, I walked for myself. I work hard for this. It wasn’t easy working 2 jobs and going to school, but I did it and graduated with honors.

Once my name was called and I began to walk down the stage shaking hands, I recognized a pair of dark piercing eyes in the crowd. Leo stood clapping, balancing a big bouquet of flowers. I became emotional and as I walked down the stage my legs became weak. It is the first time someone cares about me, or about what I do.

Once the ceremony was over, everyone ran to their family for hugs and pictures. I slowly picked up my things. Leo walked slowly among the commotion. He held the big bouquet of flowers on his chest and had a big smile. I couldn’t move. I stood still looking at him. I have never seen him out of his uniform. He looked nice with his gray shirt and black pants.

Leo handed me the flowers and kissed me softly on the cheek. He congratulates me. Then he grabbed my things and held my hand as he escorted me to the exit. He took me to a nice restaurant. We had a great time at the restaurant, then he took me to my apartment. He got out of the car and opened the door for me. He became quiet and looked nervous. I wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss me good night. I was waiting for the kiss but instead he asked me for a hug.

I wrapped my arms around him. His hug felt so good, and he smelled so good. I didn’t want him to let me go, so I asked him if he wanted to come in. I live in a studio, so my living room is my bedroom. I only have the necessary stuff: a bed, a table, a mini kitchen, a closet, and a bathroom.

We sat on the bed and talked for hours. After a while, I began to get sleepy, so we took our shoes off and laid on the bed. We continued to talk until I guess we fell asleep.

I just realized that this is the first time I had someone in my apartment. Well, I didn't have free time to hang out with anyone anyway. Until now.

Oh no! Leo is moving!

What do I do if he wakes up? Do I act like nothing happened? Will he expect a kiss? I haven’t brushed my teeth! I have no idea of what to do in this situation! I’m freaking out.

He spends the night here, so doing that means something. I have never dated, so I don’t know what to do. I have no idea what the protocols are. I don’t even know if what we are doing is considering dating. I have so many questions.

Oh no… He is moving, is he awake?

I turn around and he is looking straight at me. What do I do?

Aww…

He gives me the sweetest smile and pulls me closer. He smells so good. I want to stay in his arms forever. I sniffed his neck and he took a deep breath.

He caressed my back and whispered, "Good morning".

I don't want to let him go, but I don't want to look desperate.

I moved back and looked at his face. His eyes were set on mine. I wrestled the urge to look away and smiled nervously. He caressed my face. Ugh, I feel my cheeks getting warm and the air is becoming heavy. Did my heart always beat that loud? Can he hear my heart?

Shh heart. What do I do?

His face changed. Oh, no. Why is he looking so concerned? He must have heard my loud heart.

Leo moved back a little. He looked at me and asked, "is everything OK?" I couldn't find words. I blankly stared at him. I couldn't look at him anymore. I lowered my eyes and he immediately let me go and began to get up. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

He sat on the side of the mattress and said, "I'm sorry." I found the strength to look at him, but I was still incapable of talking. I wanted to smack myself. I want him back in my bed. I want him to hold me back in his arms, but I can't tell him that. How do I get him to hold me again?

He began to get up and I jumped out of bed. I rushed to him and stood in front of him. Quietly staring at him. What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe I ran out of things to say.

Leo looks into my eyes and fixes my hair behind my ear. I feel a tingling sensation traveling down my spine. Suddenly, my legs can support my weight. Leo wrapped his arms around my wrist. Perfect timing. I don't know how my hands ended up on his chest.

I can feel his heart beating as fast as mine. I feel my cheeks warming up again, but this time I can't take my eyes off him. He stares at my eyes quietly. Then I felt something pushing me towards him, some kind of force. I see his soft lips slightly opening as he is about to say something, but he doesn't. Instead, he brought his face closer to me.