SILENCE

ELEVEN

Quote for the chapter: The more I try, it just gets harder and my pain is getting old.

************************************

Today is my birthday.

My thirtieth birthday to be exact.

My sister arrived first with her daughter who she named after me.

She looked better than before, thank God while my pretty niece looked even more cute.

I think she's six but I could be wrong.

Anyways, she smiles at the cobblestone before dropping a rose.

"Happy birthday, aunt Josie" she said grinning up at me.

If only I could tap her head or better still kiss her cheeks.

"I love you and hope you rest well in heaven. Thank you for looking after me" she kissed my gravestone before walking over to her mom causing me to smile.

She's the sweetest thing ever.

Jackie whispered something to her making her run towards the gate.

Probably to the car.

"Hey, Josie. How's everything? I hope you're having a blast birthday party over there. I'm sorry, Josie. f**k, I can't believe you're gone. It seems so surreal. I wish I had gotten to know you more" Jackie whispered tears rolling down her cheeks.

I wish she didn't have to feel so guilty.

I mean yeah she should have believed me but she would have been ended up under dad and that wasn't a good place to be.

"Sorry for crying. Mom's okay at the elderly home although she still cuts herself sometimes due to depression. Jason is getting married soon and would soon become a father. The foundation is doing well overall. You'll be surprised with the amount of r**e victims out there. A girl came in last week and she reminded me so much of you. Her father and brother were both molesting her and her mom doesn't believe her. Anyways, Liam is on the case and it won't be long before justice is served" Jackie said in one breath before staring at my gravestone and then bursting into tears.

She did this every single time she came.

I sighed.

She was doing absolutely everything in her power to make sure r**e victims get justice.

She built a foundation in my name and named it 'Jostice foundation'.

She named her first kid after me.

As if that wasn't enough, she ended up getting married to Liam, a detective that shared her vision.

Jackie had managed to build her life on guilt.

And that was something I had to get used to.

Suicide doesn't fixed everything.

And even if it pains me to admit, I am selfish.

Extremely selfish.

Because only selfish people commit suicide like myself.

And that was a fact.

The guilt I tried running away from ended up biting me in the a*s.

Even if RIP was carved on my gravestone, it wasn't carved up in my heart.

If only I had known that silence wasn't the best answer.

***