SILENCE

SEVEN

Quote for the chapter: The worst loneliness is to not like yourself.

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I watched dad dress up while I sat on the bed feeling like a piece of s**t.

Dried tears coated my cheeks while dried c*m stained my inner thighs.

He didn't even have the decency to buy a c****m.

I guess he wasn't shameless enough to get me pregnant.

Then he gets to be both a father and a grandfather to the baby.

Oh right, I am in my period.

Disgusting.

"You can't send me back to the institution now that you've punished me" I said causing him to walk closer to me while doing the buttons of his shirt.

"Sure but if you tell anyone..." He trailed off waving his phone.

"You recorded?" I asked bewildered.

"Of course, I can j******f to this anytime I need some sort of release and this video is better than any porno I've watched and trust me they are a lot"

Disgust.

That's the only emotion I'm feeling towards this man.

He throws a wink at me before walking towards the door.

He stops and then tuns around to face me,"And don't bother trying to steal my phone. I'm editing this video as soon as I leave so if you piss me off, this video is going online and everyone will know it's you and a faceless man f*****g in a storeroom. I teach computer because I'm good at it so don't piss me off"

And with that, he was gone.

I burst into tears immediately before dragging myself out of bed.

I threw the blood stained sheets into the hamper before stepping under the shower.

Thank you very much dad for ruining my first time with your small a*s d**k.

I felt the overwhelming urge to cut causing me to grab a razor.

I wasn't going to make the same mistake by cutting my wrist so I made three lines each on my inner thighs.

Immediately, I felt the relief causing me to slide down the shower wall while closing my eyes.

This is temporary.

You're not a s**t. You're a victim.

I repeated those words over and over again until I could finally breathe without feeling the lump in my throat.

After dressing up, I laid new bed sheets before laying on my bed again.

I wish I had friends.

Friends that would actually believe me when I'm speaking the truth.

I could feel another wave of tears again causing me to sit up.

Instead of crying like a little b***h, I should do something.

Something that won't get me in trouble or in that institution.

Grabbing an empty journal and a pen, I began to write.

Obviously not beginning with the classic dear diary.

***

Dinner tonight wasn't awkward at all.

That was sarcasm.

Jason and Jackie have decided to ignore me not that it was a problem before but now it feels like it's my fault that I was r***d.

It isn't my fault nobody wants to believe me but it's my fault for being weak.

I could have fought harder and maybe smarter as well.

It doesn't matter anymore.

The next time he tries to r**e me will be over my dead body.

And that was a promise.

***

Some promises are kept while others are broken.

Like the one I made to myself two months ago.

Dad is presently in my room now in the middle of the night.

Asking for round two.

"We had a deal, dad. I've done my part of the deal so can you get the hell out of my room" I said folding my arms across my chest.

Dad rolled his eyes before sitting at the edge of my dresser.

"That is no way to talk to your father. And you're right we did have a deal" dad hummed causing me to snort loudly.

"Exactly, dad. So can you leave now? I have a test tomorrow"

Dad smirked before walking up to me.

When he was a few steps from me, he stopped.

"We did have a deal but I don't remember any part of the deal that states that the s*x has to be once" Dad said stroking his chin.

"You p*****t! How dare you?" I screamed making dad chuckle.

"Thank God, I soundproofed the whole house. Everyone would have been awake by now" Dad smiled before going over to the edge of my room.

My heart f*****g stopped.

Two weeks ago, we had spent a whole week in a hotel while the house was being renovated.

Renovated, my a*s.

"Well, aren't you going to strip?" Dad asked while narrowing his eyes.

I glared up at him with hatred.

"f**k you" I gritted out causing him to shrug nonchalantly.

"It's going to be the hard way then" dad replied before reaching for me.

'I should have stripped' I thought while washing away the blood from my inner thighs.

'Then maybe it wouldn't hurt this much'