No Better Ending

Chapter Five

♥️ ♥️ ♥️ LUKE'S POV ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

I DIDN'T make it. I wish I could say I expected it already, so it's okay. But, no. I expected it, but it's still not okay. Deep inside, umasa ako na baka hindi ako pepersonalin ni Trevor. Oo, naniniwala ako na kagagawan niya kung bakit hindi ako nakasali sa theater group.

Hindi naman sa overconfident ako pero naniniwala akong sapat ang ipinakita kong performance para makapasa, or at least, makasama man lang sa waiting list. Iyong mga nasa waiting list kasi ay for consideration. Kumbaga may chance pa sila na makapasok in case magbago ang isip ng theater group at mag-add ng new members aside from the top 10. But in my case, hopeless na talaga because I really got rejected.

I cried a bit, but I tried not to linger on it as much as possible. Ayokong makaapekto iyon sa pag-aaral ko. Siguro maghahanap na lang ako ng ibang clubs na pwede kong salihan kahit hindi naman talaga iyon ang gusto ko. Bahala na. Or I could accept Eros' offer. Yeah, right. I could be a band vocalist.

"What are you thinking?" untag ni Mommy sa'kin na napansin ang pananahimik ko.

Nasa isang resort kami to unwind. Kanina pa akong nakahiga lang sa pool longue at nagbabasa ng libro. I wanted to stay away from Trevor who's in the beach. Yes, pati sa weekend ay kailangan kong pagtiisan ang presence niya dahil kasama ulit namin sila ng buong family niya.

"Wala po, 'mom. May iniisip lang."

"Kung ano man 'yang iniisip mo, mukhang mas malalim pa 'yan sa swimming pool sa harap natin," she joked. "Why don't you take a dip? Solung-solo mo ang pool."

Hindi crowded ang resort na pag-aari pala ng family nina Trevor. Exclusive for members lang iyon kaya peaceful at maganda talaga ang ambiance.

"Maybe later, 'mom."

She sighed.

"Alam kong may problema ka. What is it?"

She knew me too well kaya mahirap magsinungaling o magtago ng secrets sa kanya. Idagdag pa na sobrang transparent ko. Mapapansin mo talaga if something was bothering me.

"I already told you na hindi po ako nakapasok sa theater group, 'di ba?" Even just mentioning it was enough to make me feel down.

"Yes, and I told you it's okay. Baka hindi ka talaga destined para maging theater actor ng school n'yo. Maybe they're looking for something else na hindi fit sa skills and talent mo."

I wanted to defend myself and tell her that I was exactly the kind of actor they were looking for. I simply got rejected because the president of the theater group didn't want me to be part of them. Pero hindi ko na lang sinabi iyon kasi ayokong magka-issue.

"The thing is, I think there's still a way para magamit ko ang talent ko for singing."

"Of course, there's still a way. There's a lot of other ways. You can join the choir—"

"I got an offer to be a band vocalist."

Natahimik si Mommy at napatitig sa akin na parang hindi makapaniwala.

"R-really? Oh, Luke, that's great!"

"And you wouldn't believe who gave me the offer."

"Sino?"

"Eros Silverio."

"Silverio?"

"Yup, he's the son of our school president."

"I am so happy for you. I mean, it's good na may connection ka sa mga katulad ni Eros. Don't get me wrong, of course, I'm not saying na i-take advantage mo siya. Ang sa'kin lang, it's good to have connections that we can use kung kakailanganin."

"I understand, 'mom."

If there was one thing I didn't like about my mother, minsan nasusobrahan ang pagiging business-minded niya. She always wanted me to associate myself with rich and powerful people kahit no'ng nasa Cebu pa kami. Magagamit raw namin iyon para sa business namin. Minsan hindi ko nagugustuhan pero iniintindi ko na lang because I knew she just wanted to secure our business at para rin naman iyon sa pamilya namin.

"Tita, kakain na raw po."

Kinabahan ako nang narinig ko ang boses ni Trevor sa likod namin.

"Oh, gano'n ba? Sige, let's go eat!" ani Mommy at mabilis na tumayo at pumunta sa restaurant na nasa loob ng resort.

I was left with Trevor. Well, hindi talaga ako sure dahil nakaupo pa rin ako sa longue at hindi ko alam kung umalis na ba siya o hindi. Pero nararamdaman kong nakatayo pa rin siya sa likod ko.

"I'm sorry you got rejected," he said using a mocking tone.

I closed the book I was holding and put on my shades bago tumayo at matapang na hinarap siya.

"It's okay. I know my worth, so it doesn't matter."

His brows furrowed.

"And what do you mean by that?"

"Just because you rejected me, doesn't mean hindi na talaga ako deserving na makapasok sa theater group. I still think I have the talent and skills to earn a spot, but because of you, hindi ako natanggap."

"You do realize that's a big accusation, don't you?"

"Well, it's not an accusation. I'm simply stating a fact."

"Why would I reject you if I think you deserve to earn a spot in the theater group?"

"Because you hate me."

He gave me an incredulous laugh. Mas lalo lang akong nainis. No, hindi lang ako nainis. Galit na ako.

"Sa tingin mo, na-reject ka dahil pinersonal kita?"

"Exactly."

"Hindi man lang ba pumasok sa isip mo, even for a second, na baka you're really not good enough to be part of us?"

Napahiya ako. Oo, malaki ang rason ni Trevor para isabotahe ang results at hindi ako papasukin. Pero hindi ko rin naisip ang possibility na baka hindi talaga ako pumasa. Na baka I wasn't really good enough to make it to the top 10.

"Aminin mo na lang kasi. Ayaw mong makasama ako sa group ninyo kaya ginamit mo ang power mo bilang president ng club to make sure na hindi ako makakapasok," pagmamatigas ko pa rin.

"I'm a club president kaya walang mas mahalaga sa'kin kundi ang ikakabuti ng club na dinadala ko. If you're good enough and if I thought na magiging asset ka ng club, believe me, hindi kita pakakawalan regardless if we have personal issues."

"Are you saying that I'm not good enough?"

"Precisely."

Naghalu-halo na ang hiya at sakit na nararamdaman ko. Napalunok ako while fighting the urge to cry. May point naman kasi siya. He was brutally honest and he didn't even bother to choose less painful words. But he was still right. I wasn't good enough.

Marami pang mas magaling sa akin na nag-audition. Kung ibinagsak man ako ni Trevor, nakapasok pa rin sana ako kung malaki ang ibinigay na scores ng ibang judges sa akin. Pero hindi, eh. Hindi pa rin ako nakapasok. Kaya posible na hindi ko talaga na-impress ang dalawa pang judges.

Hindi na ako nagsalita pa. Mabilis ko na lang na tinalikuran si Trevor at pumunta na sa restaurant.

I hate him, I hate him so much! And I also hate the fact that I wasn't good enough to be part of theater group! The realization hit me like a huge, crashing wave.

⭐⭐⭐

I HAVE decided to accept Eros' offer. Pinag-isipan ko iyong mabuti sa buong weekend. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko ba talagang maging isang vocalist, but I'd surely learn along the way. Ang importante naman sa ngayon, I have the voice and the passion to perform. Ang problema ko na lang ay kung paano ko makakausap si Eros. Ang alam ko ay magkaklase sila ni Trevor.

May nagaganap kasing parang caste system sa school namin. Nasa iisang section ang lahat ng anak ng major shareholders ng school. They were given VIP treatment and a lot of special priviliges. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang definition nila ng VIP treatment kasi feeling ko VIP treatment rin ang natatanggap ng regular students like me. Siguro buhay-prinsipe at prinsesa na ang mga students sa section nila.

"Seryoso?" gulat na reaksyon ni France no'ng kaming dalawa na lang ang naiwan sa classroom. Lunch break na kasi at nag-aayos lang kami ng gamit namin bago pumunta sa cafeteria. "Eros seriously offered you to be..."

"Oo, totoo. I know it's shocking. Hindi nga ako makapaniwala, eh."

"The fact that he approached you was a big deal already."

"Bakit naman?"

"I've done my research regarding the caste system here in our school. Marami akong nabasa sa mga blogs and forums. Iyong mga students raw sa section nila, they're all snobs. Mga feeling high and mighty raw ang karamihan sa kanila. They think they're better than the regular students just because they're from richer and more powerful clans. They usually stick to their own circle at hindi sila nakikihalubilo sa mga regular students like us."

"R-really?"

"Uh-huh. Kaya ang i-approach ng isang A-lister na kagaya ni Eros, malaking bagay na iyon. I mean, he's the son of our school president. Hindi siya basta-basta lang. Prinsipe ang tingin ng mga estudyante sa kanya."

Ano naman kaya ang nakita niya sa akin para kunin niya akong vocalist? May mga magagaling na singers naman siguro siyang kakilala. I was pretty sure na classmates niya ang mga kasali sa banda, kaya kung tatanggapin ko ang offer niya, ako ang maiiba sa banda. I would be part of a band na mga elites ang members. The thought alone scared me. Kaya ko bang makasalamuha ang mga katulad nila?

Habang naguguluhan na naman ako, nakarinig kami ng sigawan mula sa labas. Kinabahan tuloy kami dahil baka may sunog o emergency. Mabilis naming tinapos ang pagliligpit at lumabas na kaagad ng classroom. Pero hindi pa kami tuluyang nakakalabas ay hinarang na kami ng tatlong lalaki sa pintuan.

"Oh...my...gosh..." pabulong na reaksyon ni France pero ramdam na ramdam ko ang tinitimping kilig sa boses niya.

Para kaming may kaharap na celebrities. The three of them looked dashingly handsome. Napanganga na lang ako habang nakatitig sa kanila.

"Hi, Luke." He smiled. s**t, ang puti ng ngipin. Ang dimples... Oh god, he was so handsome. "I hope you still remember me."

"Y-yes." nauutal kong sagot. "Eros."

"Great." Hindi pa rin nawawala ang ngiti sa labi niya. "I'm with the other band members. This is Ronnie," he pointed the guy on his left na sa tingin ko ay half-Spanish. "And this is Justin." Itinuro naman niya ang nasa kanan niya na moreno at matangkad. "Kulang pa kami ng isa dahil busy ang isa pang member. But yeah, we're basically the members of the band and we want you to be part of us."

"Oh... About your offer..."

Paano ko sasabihin sa kanya na I've actually made up mind pero bigla na naman ulit akong naguluhan dahil nalaman kong hindi lang sila basta-bastang estudyante ng school namin?

I honestly didn't know how to explain lalo pa't nai-intimidate ako sa kanila. Nakangiti naman silang tatlo sa akin pero kinakabahan pa rin ako. Wala naman akong na-sense na masasama o mga arogante silang tao. In fact, I think they're very different from Trevor. Kaso hindi lang talaga ako comfortable sa kanila.

"I really think you'd be a great vocalist," Ronnie said with confidence. "I mean, hindi ko pa naririnig ang boses mo. But I know Eros damn well and I trust his tastes, especially when it comes to music. Hindi siya basta-bastang nai-impress. Kaya if you caught his attention when he accidentally heard you singing, then you must have an amazing voice."

Nakaramdam ako ng hiya sa papuri niya.

"Believe me, Luke, this is a big opportunity," Justin added. "Hindi naman sa nagmamayabang ako, but our band is something the whole school's been waiting for. Magkakaro'n ka ng maraming experience at learnings regarding music 'pag naging vocalist ka namin. Makakapag-perform ka sa lahat ng school events. We'd even perform outside the campus."

I was so tempted to say yes. Na-excite ako sa mga narinig ko. I started to imagine myself singing in front of a huge crowd. Pakiramdam ko abot-kamay ko na ang pangarap ko. I really thought it was just a silly dream. Hindi ko naman akalain na posible palang matupad iyon. Baka nga hindi talaga ako para sa theater group. Baka para talaga ako sa banda.

Yes, maybe iyon ang destiny ko. I'm going to give it my best at patutunayan ko kay Trevor that eventhough I wasn't good enough to be a theater actor, may ibubuga pa rin ako.

"O-okay."

"Okay? Did you mean...?" natutuwang sabi ni Eros.

"Yes, my answer is yes."

"Great! Welcome to the band, Luke!"

♥️ ♥️ ♥️ TO BE CONTINUED ♥️ ♥️ ♥️