TILL MY LAST BREATH

CHAPTER 10: WHEN HE CALLS MY NAME

RAIN

It started with a single text message that came out of nowhere.

Come over. It read.

Just that and nothing else. No greeting, no explanation.

I stared at my phone for a long time, the screen glowing against the darkness of my room. My first instinct was to ignore it. I even placed the phone face down on my pillow, convincing myself that I was done, that I was stronger now. But the cat in me couldn't lie still until it knew the reason for his text.

Ultimately, I gave in.

I told myself I only wanted to see him one last time. To hear him speak, to prove to myself that I could face him and walk away without breaking. That was the lie I clung to as I pulled on my jacket and slipped quietly out of the house making sure I wasn't spotted by aunt Valen or Brittany else tonight would be the day I draw my last breathe.

I successfully made it out of the house and hurried walked into the cold night.The night air was cold and damp from the rain that had no long settled. The streets were mostly empty, with a few scattered lights flickering behind windows. Every step felt heavier than the last, but my feet kept moving, with the determination fueled from a lie. But deep down I knew how this was going to end. Yet, I forged on towards my doom.

By the time I reached his gate, my hands were trembling from the cold. The porch light was off, but faint music drifted from inside. I hesitated at the door, my pulse quickening. I could smell the sharp mix of beer and cigarette smoke even before I knocked.

When the door opened, Dale stood there, hair tousled, eyes half-lidded. The smell of alcohol clung to him so much so I could barely breathe. His gaze lingered on me for a moment before he said my name softly.

"Rain."

His voice was rough, much quiet than I remembered.

"You came," he said finally.

I wanted to sound calm, to show him that I was no longer the girl who used to tremble at his voice. That I was strong and did not come all the way here just for him, but for me. To prove to myself that I was right. To prove to myself that I was strong. But all I could manage was, "You texted."

He moved aside, letting me in. The room was dim, lit only by the flickering light from the television. Empty bottles were scattered across the floor and half-finished drink beside the couch. "Geez how much has he been drinking, this is totally ludacris" I said mostly to myself almost annoyed.

"Didn’t think you’d actually show up," he muttered, collapsing onto the couch.

"You asked me to." I replied.

He gave a short laugh, the sound dry and humorless. "Yeah. Guess I did."

"Now I think about it I'm guessing this is all fun and game for you huh? God I'm a fool." I whispered, my voice inaudible.

I stood near the doorway, feeling like a stranger.

He glanced up at me. "You want a drink?"

I shook my head.

"Still the same," he said with a smug look. "Too good for this."

"Just cut to the chase Dale, what do you want and why did you call me over? Aren't you scared your precious Brittany would find out about this secret meeting?" I asked slightly annoyed.

That made him look at me properly for the first time. His eyes were bloodshot, but for a moment, something flickered there — surprise maybe, or recognition. It passed as quickly as it came.

"You shouldn’t have come," he said.

"Yeah s**t, you think I don't know that?." I said, really annoyed this time.

"Then why did you?" His reply matching my tone.

I tried to answer but couldn’t. There were too many reasons and none of them made any sense. How could I tell him that I came here just to prove that I could do without him or that even after everything, part of me still needed to be near him? Gosh, I'm so stupid.

He exhaled slowly, rubbing his hand through his hair. "You always come back, Rain. Even when you swear you won’t. Just face it, you're obsessed with me."

This time, his words weren't cruel like usual, but they still made something inside me cracked at the truth in it.

I still remained silent as I felt my throat tighten but I managed to let out some words almost inaudible but I'm sure he heard it as he chuckled, "you should know better by now that I'll never look at you the way you want me to."

I lowered my head as I felt heat rising to my face with tears threatening to fall. I didn't know why I wanted to cry at a time like this, but I couldn't let him see that his words managed to do a number on my emotions.

We stood there in silence and after a while, he stood and walked toward me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

He stopped close enough that I could feel the heat of him. His voice dropped low. "You still think about me?"

My face remained glued to the floor as my throat tightened. I wanted to lie, but the words wouldn’t come.

"Look at me princess" he said as he reached for my chin, causing me to look him at him. At that instant, a tear betrayed me, flowing freely from my eye. He moved to wipe it off with his thumb, rubbing it slowly across my cheek. His hand lingered, warm against my cheek. The touch made my heart ache.

"D... don't do this Dale" I said almost in tears again.

Don't do what," he whispered.

"Give me hope only to crush it again like you always do," I said. But I didn’t move.

"Well, what if I really do want you?" He spoke with a passionate tone. This took me back to the night we first met.

For a moment, neither of us spoke. Then he leaned in, his lips close enough that I could feel his breath. My heart pounded so hard in my chest I wouldn't be surprised if he heard it.

"Dale," I said, my voice barely a sound.

He looked at me, eyes unreadable. Then he kissed me.

It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t the kind of kiss that spoke of love or forgiveness. It was a collision of hunger and regret, of everything we hadn’t said. And I let him.

Because even when it hurt, it felt familiar.

The kiss knocked out every force of determination I had gathered to prove that I could be happy without him out the door.

Then suddenly, he pulled away, his hands stayed on my shoulders. "You should go home," he said softly.

"I..please don’t make me" I sounded more desperate then I wanted to

He hesitated, something flickering in his expression — confusion or maybe guilt. Then, without another word, he took my hand and led me up the stairs to his room.

I stood by his door, frozen in steps until he turned back to me and reached out.

There were no words after that. No promises. Only silence and our body heat radiating across the room.

For a while, I let myself forget the truth. I let myself believe this meant something, that maybe he missed me too. But deep down, I knew what this was. I was just another comfort for a lonely night.

When it was over, he fell asleep quickly, one arm draped loosely across my waist. His breathing was steady, his face calm in sleep.

I looked at him. He looked peaceful and so innocent. I wondered if he dreamed about me, or if in his dreams, I was already gone.

I wanted to hate him. I wanted to get up, dress quietly, and leave before he woke. But my body refused to move because leaving would mean accepting the truth — that this was all it would ever be.

So I laid there until sleep finally took over me.