TILL MY LAST BREATH

CHAPTER 7: THE FRIEND WHO KNOWS

RAIN

It started with a question I did not want to answer.

“Rain, what really happened that night at the party?”

Sarah’s voice was gentle, but there was something underneath it. A heaviness that made my chest tighten. She looked at me as if she already knew the truth and was waiting for me to say it out loud.

I froze. My hands were still wet from washing the paintbrushes after art class. I set them down carefully because they were shaking. I had spent weeks locking away that night, pretending the memory did not exist. One question from her and the walls I built began to fall apart driving me almost to tears.

“What night?” I asked quietly, pretending to be oblivious.

She sighed. “Don’t do that. You told me you hadn't left the party at all remember? Also you didn't come the school for weeks after that. The scars left on your skin. You said you fell, but…” She stopped, her voice trembling. “Rain, you didn’t fall, did you?”

My throat felt like it was closing. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, that it was nothing. But her eyes were too honest. I could not lie to them anymore.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that,” I whispered.

Sarah’s face hardened. “He hurt you, didn’t he?”

"No no he didn't, at least he's not guilty for the scars on my skin". My words came out melancholic than intended. "He only hurt me emotionally I guess." I looked down in shame.

"That night, I was a fool and I let him take advantage of my naivety. It's all my fault for acting like a desperate b***h. I deserve this and maybe more". I replied regretfully.

Her fists clenched. “No that's not true, he had no right to treat you that way. I'll make home regret it."

“Sarah, please.” I reached for her wrist, but she pulled away.

“Don’t what? Pretend it’s fine? You think I can just watch him act innocent while you suffer?”

“Please,” I said again, my voice cracking. “You will only make it worse.”

“Worse for who?” she asked, her voice shaking. “For you or for him?”

I looked down. "He doesn't want to talk to me ever and I don't want to cause any more trouble. I even wrote him a letter and he made a mockery of my feelings to his friends so please I'm begging you just let it go Sarah." I pleaded intently.

She let out a sigh, "I'm sorry but I can't promise you anything."

That afternoon, she did not walk home with me. She muttered something about needing air and left. I watched her walk away until she disappeared around the corner. The emptiness that followed hurt more than I expected.

---

For the next few days, I pretended nothing had changed. We sat together in class, smiled when teachers looked our way, and shared quiet lunches. But something between us had shifted. The awkward silence was now prominent.

Then, one morning, I heard her voice echoing through the hallway.

When I turned the corner, my heart dropped. Sarah was standing in front of Dale, her face pale with anger.

“How can you even look at her after what you did?” she shouted.

Dale frowned, looking more annoyed than guilty. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I mean,” she said. “You think she didn’t tell me? You think you can just hurt her and walk around like nothing happened?”

My whole body went cold. “Sarah, stop!”

They both turned toward me.

Dale’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You told her?”

“No,” I said quickly. “I didn’t.”

Sarah looked at me in disbelief. “Rain…”

“Please,” I begged. “Don’t do this.”

She shook her head. “He doesn’t deserve your protection.”

“I said stop!” My voice broke, too loud in the hallway. A few students turned to stare.

Dale ran a hand through his hair and muttered, “This is ridiculous,” before walking away. His footsteps faded down the corridor until there was only silence.

Sarah looked at me again. “Why are you protecting him, Rain? Why?”

I wanted to tell her that I did not know how to stop. That some part of me still believed he could change. That sometimes pain felt safer than loneliness. But I said nothing.

“It’s not what you think,” I whispered.

“Then tell me what it is,” she said softly.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came. My body shook with words that refused to leave.

Sarah’s shoulders fell. “I just want you to be okay.”

“I’m fine,” I lied.

She looked at me sadly. “You keep saying that, but you are slowly ruining yourself”. Then she turned and walked off.

---

That night, I sat by the window with my journal open. I tried to write, but all that came out were names. His. Hers. Mine. The writings blurred under my tears.

I thought about the look on Sarah’s face when she realized how much I still loved the boy who broke me. There had been anger, but also pity.

Maybe she did not recognize me anymore. Maybe I did not either.

My phone buzzed. A message from her.

I’m sorry for yelling. I just hate seeing you like this.

I stared at it for a long time before typing back.

It’s okay. I know you were just looking out for me.

But it wasn’t.

I closed my journal and pulled the blanket over my shoulders and tried to breathe quietly. Convincing myself that nothing would change be between Sarah and I even though she now knows how crazy and protective I am of a boy who hurt me greatly.