TILL MY LAST BREATH

CHAPTER 5: THE SILENCE BETWEEN US

RAIN

The tears refused to stop, no matter how many times I wiped them away. They rolled freely, like a river. By the time I reached home, my eyes were sore and my chest ached from the heart break.

I told myself I was over him. I told myself that whatever happened that night in his room meant nothing. But every time I said those words, they felt like lies pressing against my throat, choking me with their weight. Seeing Dale kiss Brittany wasn’t just a heartbreak. It was humiliation, betrayal, and disbelief all tangled into one unbearable ache.

When I entered the house, I was grateful that my aunt was still out. The silence was the only comfort I had left. I went straight to my room and collapsed onto my bed. My pillow was soaked before I even realized I was crying again.

Why him? Why did it have to be Dale, the one person I knew could destroy me if I let him close enough?

I thought about the way his eyes had looked at me that night. Dark, dangerous, but alive. I hated that even now, after everything, I could still feel the lingering effects of his touch on my skin. I hated that a single memory of him could make my heart race when he had made it clear that I meant nothing to him.

When the front door opened and slammed shut, I froze. Voices followed, laughter, the familiar high-pitched tone of Brittany’s. I sat up, wiping my face quickly. I couldn’t let them see me like this.

“Rain!” My aunt’s voice echoed down the hall. “Get out here now.”

I stood up shakingly, my heart pounding. I could already imagine what was coming next. I walked into the living room to see them both. My aunt looked smug, and Brittany beamed with satisfaction. She was wearing a new dress, probably a gift from Dale.

“Well, look who decided to crawl out of her hole,” Brittany said with a mocking smile. “You should’ve seen Dale today, Mum. He was so sweet. We spent the whole afternoon together.”

Her words felt like knives. I kept my gaze low, gripping the hem of my shirt to keep from trembling.

My aunt smiled proudly at her daughter. “That’s my girl. At least one of you knows how to attract a decent man.”

They both laughed, and I stood there like a shadow. Silent, unwanted, invisible.

“Rain,” my aunt said suddenly, her tone sharp. “Tomorrow you’re cleaning the entire house. I want it spotless by the time we return. Do you understand?”

“Y-Yes, m-ma’am,” I stuttered.

She looked at me for a moment, her expression unreadable, before turning back to Brittany. They both disappeared into her room, still laughing.

When I was finally alone again, I went back to my room and sat on the edge of my bed. My body was trembling, but it wasn’t from fear this time. It was anger. Not at them but at myself.

How could I let him do this to me? How could I still crave someone who had torn me apart? I wanted to hate Dale with every fiber of my being. I wanted to forget the way his lips felt against mine, the warmth of his voice, the pull he had on me even when I knew better. But hate was easy to say and hard to feel. Because deep down, under all the pain, a part of me still hoped that maybe he didn’t mean the things he said.

I lay down again, staring at the ceiling until I felt drowsy. Sleep didn’t come easy that night. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. His touch, his words, his cold expression when he told me to leave. By the time morning came, I felt empty.

---

The days passed slowly after that. I avoided looking at Brittany whenever she bragged about Dale. She made sure I heard every story. Every kiss, every outing, every time he held her hand. It was as if she enjoyed watching me break a little more each day.

I tried to distract myself. I cleaned the house, cooked meals, even read old novels I found lying in the attic. But nothing could quiet the tempest brewing inside me. Every night, I found myself staring out the window, wondering what Dale was doing. Was he thinking of me? Or had he completely forgotten about me along with that night.

A part of me wanted to confront him, to ask him why he did it, why he pretended I was nothing when he must have known how much he meant to me. But the other part, the broken and terrified part, told me to stay away. To protect what was left of me before he shattered it completely.

Still, one evening, I found myself walking down the street that led to his neighborhood. I told myself I just needed closure, that I only wanted to see him one last time and then let go. But deep down, I knew I was lying to myself again.

When I reached his gate, I saw his car parked outside. The lights inside his house were dim. I stood there for a long time, staring at the gate and wondering if it was actually a good idea coming here. My heart was screaming at me to turn around, but my feet refused to move.

Then, as if fate enjoyed mocking me, the front door opened. Dale stepped out, looking as effortlessly perfect as ever. His hair was slightly messy, his shirt half unbuttoned. He noticed me instantly. His expression shifted from surprise to irritation.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice low but sharp.

“I... I just wanted to talk,” I stammered, my voice trembling.

He sighed and walked closer, his hands in his pockets. “Rain, don’t you get it yet? There’s nothing to talk about.”

My throat tightened. “You don’t have to be cruel.”

He let out a small humorless laugh. “Cruel? You’re the one who keeps showing up like a lost puppy. I told you what this was. You just didn’t want to believe it. Or do you love me spelling it out to you that there would never be an us. You are nothing but a cheap wh** who doesn't know when to stop trying".

The words cut deeper than I expected. I took a step back, trying to hide the tears that burned in my eyes. “I thought you were different,” I whispered.

“Yeah, well,” he said coldly, “you were wrong.”

He turned and walked back inside, slamming the door behind him.

I stood there, frozen, staring at the closed door. My heart hurt so much I could barely breathe. And yet, as I finally turned away and walked home, I knew the truth I didn’t want to admit. That this wasn’t the end.

Because no matter how many times Dale broke me, I couldn’t stay away. Not yet. Not until I figured out why my heart still beat for someone who had already crushed it.