Under the Pouring Rain

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - a physical and emotional malaise

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"Susmiyo naman, Kayla, paulit-ulit tayo? Hindi ko nga type yang boyfriend mo, magtropa lang kami!"

Gusto kong manakit, paano ba naman ay kanina pa ako ini-interrogate ng mga bruhilda na 'to dahil lang sa walang kakwenta-kwentang bagay. At talagang nag-set pa sila ng venue — sa eskinitang tambakan ng mga basura ng school.

Hindi ko mawari kung ano ang mas nakakasuka, 'yong amoy ng basura o 'yong mga binibintang nila sa akin na hindi naman totoo.

I took a step back nang lumapit ulit siya sa akin.

"At paulit-ulit ko ring pinaniwala sarili ko diyan, Gia. Sa t'wing magkasama kami, ikaw na lang nang ikaw ang binabanggit niya. Tapos ngayong wala na kami, sa'yo siya unang lumapit, akala mo ba hindi ko kayo nakita?" chika pa niya.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Pinagsasabi mo? Ni hindi ko nga alam na wala na kayo! Ano ba naman, Kayla, para kang bata, sa tingin mo ba may interes ako sa mga ganyang bagay?" I harshly brushed my hair out of extreme frustration, "Isaksak mo sa baga mo 'yang boyfriend mong dise-otso na, pinapalo pa rin ng nanay kapag umuuwi nang hatinggabi. OA niyo!"

I tried to walk away habang sinasabi ko iyon dahil hindi ko na talaga kayang sikmurain ang pagiging immature nila nang bigla akong nakaramdam ng sakit sa anit ko.

OMG, ito na ba 'yong part na kukuyugin nila ako!?

"Anong sabi mo!?"

"Aray, Kayla!"

Sinubukan kong hilahin ang buhok ko pero maski ang ulo ko ay hindi na alam kung saang direksyon pupunta — tatlo ba naman silang sabay-sabay humila eh!

I became too desperate to break free kaya sinimulan ko nang tumbasan ang aggressiveness nila by kicking their legs but the pain was too much na nawalan na rin ako ng lakas.

"Tama na sabi putangina!" I shouted, ayoko na, sobrang sakit.

I was on the verge of giving in when a familiar voice echoed through my ears.

"Ms. De Guzman! What's going on here!?"

And there, my eyes widen as they seem to have seen a glimpse of hope.

"S-Sir?" It was Kayla.

I sensed panic from them, pero nakuha pa rin nila akong itulak sa sahig bago sila magsitakbo!

The pain radiating from my head was too intense, kaya hindi ko agad nagawang humarap sa kanya. But the mere fact that he came was enough for me to calm down and feel safe.

"What happened here? Just by looking, I could tell na pinagtulungan ka nila. Ms. Reyes?" he held my shoulders and slightly shook me.

Medyo nahihilo pa rin ako kaya hindi ko maiayos ang tindig ko. Still, he patiently waited for me to regain my composure habang inaalalayan ako para makaupo nang maayos.

"A-ano, girlfriend po 'yan ni Jericho, makapang-angkin sa jowa niya, akala mo artistahin, eh amoy araw naman," I answered with shaking voice.

I admit that I got too scared, but that's the side of me that I do not wish to show him.

"And here I thought you two were together."

Para bang naglaho ang sakit sa katawan ko nang marinig ko 'yon from him. "H-Ha?"

"Akala ko kako, kayo ni Hernandez."

Tila ba nagpintig ang tenga ko sa sinabi niya. Aba sa dinami-rami ng chismis na pwedeng makarating sa kanya, eh ito pa talaga? Yes, minsan na rin akong napagkamalang jowa ni Jekoy, pero natapos na 'yung issue na 'yon long time ago when he courted Kayla.

Sino ba namang makakalagpas sa chika na 'yan eh nilalantad pa nila sa lahat ang kakornihan nila.

I bursted into a loud laughter. "Hala ka Sir, nagbabasa na ako ng medical books, siya iniiyakan pa rin yung abakada. Hinding-hindi ko magugustuhan 'yon 'no, I mean, lumaki kaming magkasama kaya alam mo na lahat ng baho niya. Tsaka teka, hindi ko naman po inakalang nakikichika ka rin po pala."

Medyo inilapit ko ang mukha ko sa kanya to tease him — and for a split second, mukhang ako lang ata 'yong naapektuhan kaya agad akong lumayo.

"That's just my personal assumption, you're always together so I came up with that conclusion. Anyway, are you hurt?" he asked, anyone can tell how worried he looks — kaya hindi lang ako nag-a-assume.

"Ay hindi naman po, nagulo lang 'yung buhok- a-ah!" mariin akong napakagat sa labi nang maramdaman ko ang hapdi sa binti ko. Ngayon ko naalaa, tinulak nga pala ako ng mga deputang 'yon!

"Thought so, let me see," he leaned forward, his face came closer to me which prompts me to shyly turn the other way.

Napailing ito nang makita ang malaking gasgas sa kanang binti ko. "I hope you won't mind, but can I take you inside my car? May first aid kit ako roon, and it's nasty here."

Biglang bumigat ang dibdib ko, hindi ko alam kung blessing in disguise ba 'tong ginawa sa akin ni Kayla o ano.

"P-po? Ano, okay lang po ako, ayoko na pong abalahin pa kayo."

"It's fine, you're my student kaya it's my responsibility to aid you."

***

"Mga batang 'yon . . don't worry, kakausapin ko sila next week para na rin mabigyan ng appropriate sanction. This is bullying and we do not tolerate that kind of behaviour."

He tended my wounds and even got me a drink. Nakakahiya mang isipin na kinailangan niya akong makita at this state, somehow it feels great to spend a little more time with him before we totally part ways.

"Okay lang po. Kilala ko po si Kayla, baka mas lumala pa po 'yung situation kapag nasampolan 'yan," sambit ko.

I faced the window beside me, at napansin kong may pumapatak nang tubig mula sa labas.

After a few seconds of utter silence, he spoke:

"As a professor and someone generation ahead from you, I must say na you shouldn't bother yourselves with such trivial matters. I've seen children mimic what adults are doing, thinking na they're already acting maturely with that. Pero anong nagiging resulta? Rather than advancing early, they lose their track because it's not yet the time for the lights ahead to open for them."

I turned to face his side while he's staring plainly forward.

"Miss Reyes, I am aware of how bright you are, sinasabi ko lang 'to for you to understand their actions and yours. Also, para na rin sa susunod na mga experiences na ma-e-encounter mo. Take one step at a time but do not linger on what's before you at present dahil marami pang darating for you sooner or later."

His words pierced through me like a dull knife. He wasn't referring to what I really have for him, right? Pero, why do I feel he's intending to confront me indirectlly?

Nakahalata na ba siya, by any chance?

"Anyway, I really did follow you earlier to give you this."

This time, humarap na siya sa akin, with a white envelope on his hand.

No. No freaking way. . .

"Shit."

"I thought you wrote it for me — you know, like any student does so I opened it. After all, it was addressed to me."

Sa dinami-rami ng libro sa shelf ko, aba dito ko pa talaga nasingit!? Sorry Ms. Shel for partially blaming you pero bakit ba kasi magkakamukha ng cover ang mga books mo!?

No no no, oo plano ko na talagang mag-confess soon but it's definitely not it!

My heart started racing, my hands feel so cold. Friggin' hell, wala pa nga sa aminan part, grabe na 'yung kaba ko. Considering the amount of anxiety I'm having right now, I don't think na kakayanin ko pang i-handle kung i-re-reject niya ako, although 'yon lang naman ang sagot na closest to reality for me.

Pero ito na eh, baka mas mawalan lang ako ng lakas ng loob kung patatagalin ko pa, 'di ba?

"It's raining, guess there's no other choice, where do I drop you off?"

I garnered each crumb of confidence that's left in me and asked, "What you said earlier, was it because of this?"

Narinig ko siyang bumuntong-hininga. "You're in that age and I do understand it, still, Miss Reyes, if you're serious about this, I might as well thank you for saying such pleasant things but I must emphasize, do not let it grow should it not fade in time. At tsaka, bata ka pa and there's still a lot to explore and people to meet."

I pressed my lips and replied, "I've lived long enough to tell how shitty this world is . . then you came.

"Sir Dylan, would you considering being with someone at least ten years younger than you are?"

"No. Never."

"Because you don't want to . . or you can't?"

"Both."

Stop it, Gia. Please, just stop.

"If one day, we meet again pagtapos nitong graduation, can we go back to being strangers?"

Damn it, saan ba nanggagaling 'to?

"You just ignored my previous answer but I'd say the same for this one. No."

We both turned the opposite ways. I knew it all along, such matter is no important to him. Why insist, Gia?

"That's just. . unfair," I whispered.

I keep on catching my breath, pilit kong pinapakalma ang dibdib ko to contain my tears.

"So, where do I drop you off?"

The rain outside got even stronger, and so does my inner storm.

"Ayos na po ako, pasensya na po sa abala and salamat."

I immediately opened the car's door and stepped out, regardless of his loud calls.

"H-hey, Ms. Reyes!"

"Ms. Reyes! Get back here!"

I enjoyed those two years of being close to you, the only regret I have is meeting you sooner.

Several steps away, I can still hear his voice calling for me.

I have freed my tears already, and now I cannot look back anymore . . .

"Miss Reyes, get back here now-"

. . is what I thought.

"S-Sir!"

Dali-dali akong napalingon to check on him when I heard something slap on the wet floor.

"Hala gago . . seryoso?"

For heaven's sake — nadulas siya at natumba!

Throwing my own drama aside, tumakbo agad ako pabalik to aid him.

"C-can you help me stand?"

"O-opo."

And now we're both injured and drenched.

***

I was seven years old when my biological mother abandoned me. Long story short, naiwan ako sa daddy ko at asawa niyang si tita Helena. They were still childless back then, kaya na rin tinuring akong parang sariling anak ni tita. She's really kind and gentle, sa totoo niyan, mas ramdam ko pa ang pagiging parent niya kaysa kay daddy — who's rather strict and meticulous.

She enrolled me in a ballet class. Sabi niya, pangarap daw niyang maging ballerina before but was unable to due to her poor health condition.

Three years later, she finally conceived at kasabay no'n ay umalis din ang ballet instructor ko to get married in New York. I was ten that time, at nagsimula na akong paalalahanan ni daddy na kailangan kong maging doctor in the future like him and tita. In the end, ginawa kong excuse ang mga iyon para makatigil ako sa pag-ba-ballet.

Several years later, my half-sister, Francine took interest in it kaya siya na ang nagpapatuloy ng dream ni tita.

This kid, hindi ko maintindihan kung ayaw ba niya sa akin o ayaw niya lang talaga sa mundo. She's the complete opposite of tita Helena — masungit at maiksi ang pasensya.

Kagaya na lang ngayon . . .

"Why are you still here ba? Baka mahawa pa kami sa'yo," she rolled her eyes like she always does.

Every Saturday, I would join her and her classmate, Isaac to tutor them. Luckily, mabait na bata 'tong isa, may pagka-pilyo nga lang talaga.

"I'd rather catch her colds than your bratty attitude, Shin. Anyway, I think it's normal these days, it's been raining heavily since yesterday kaya. Tsaka she's here to help with our homework 'di ba?" Isaac said.

"Whatever. Just use a facemask or anything."

"But half of my willingness to stay here is because of her face, Shin," the boy protested.

Nginitian pa nga ako sabay kindat. I forced a smile in return, repeatedly telling myself na 'bata lang 'yan, Gia. Bata lang.'

"You're weird," Shin commented.

I couldn't agree more.

Sinundo na rin siya a few hours later, prior to that, nakauwi na rin sina daddy and tita na kasabay ko na ngayong mag-dinner.

"Are you okay, Gia? Manang said you came home soaked all over," it was tita Helena, who seems to be the most concerned among everyone else in this room.

"Okay lang po, nakalimutan ko po kasing dalhin 'yung payong ko."

"Be careful next time ha?"

"Yes po."

"So how's your college admission? Have you decided on your premed program?" Si daddy naman ang nagsalita. As usual, usapang academics pa rin.

"I sent my application na po sa mga ni-recommend niyong universities. Regarding po sa program, I'm aiming for Biology po."

"Alright. Any news sa graduation?"

"This coming week na raw po i-a-announce 'yung honour roll."

"I'll be waiting then."

Just like every meals, si tita Helena lang ang nag-e-effort na gawing lively ang hapag-kainan. Lagi kasing serious mode si daddy. I couldn't help but wonder tuloy, ganyan din kaya siya kung silang tatlo lang ang magkakasama?

***

Monday. . .

"Due to personal reasons, your adviser cannot make it to your class today, so I was asked to take her place since I have no advisory class to attend to."

"Iba ata boses ni Sir ngayon?"

"Baka sinisipon?"

Mukhang hindi pa rin nakaka-recover si Sir from last time, which I admit naman na kasalanan ko. Medyo namumula pa ang ilong at paos ang boses, kagaya ko.

Start na ng practice for graduation, but before that, we're supposed to meet our class advisors for the announcement of class rankings. However, gaya nga ng sabi ni Sir ay hindi makakapasok si ma'am today.

"For today's agenda, I will be announcing first the top students for — the top students — the . . ."

My eyes started to twitch at nawala na rin ang atensyon ko sa harap, nangangati ang ilong ko at anytime —

"Achoo!"

Agad akong napatakip ng ilong but it happened to sudden that the my voice got to escape from that sneeze.

And all of a sudden, I noticed how silent everyone is. Ignoring everyone else's eyes, inangat ko ang ulo ko at doon ko na lang na-realize . . .

Sabay kaming bumahing ni Sir!