His To Keep: Dark Mafia Romance

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 1

BLAIR ASHFORD

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Last night was the first time I've slept without having a nightmare for as long as I can remember. The pillows felt like clouds throughout my sleep and the mattress... oh my goodness, the mattress was like a damn marshmallow.

I wriggle slightly in my sleep to find that my body is completely weighed down by two arms wrapped around my stomach. My eyes force themselves open and I glance down. I still for a second and I tell myself not to move suddenly because I am not in the comfort of my own bed. Not that I can call it a comfort after the best sleep of my entire life.

My eyesight adjusts to the tan arms that are clamped around me tightly, the tattoos resting against his forearms. I admire them, for the first time since I've known Nikolai, I truly admire them.

I resist the urge to run my fingertips along the ink because I don't want to wake him, not when I'm shamefully enjoying this far too much. I know we didn't fall asleep touching and now my body is moulded into his as if we've been in a relationship for the last five years.

How on earth did we get into this position?

A part of me doesn't care, doesn't even want an explanation. I'm just here, enjoying a cuddle from a man like any other normal woman in this society. A smile creeps up on my face because I cannot hide my pleasure from this moment.

I haven't wanted to cuddle a single man that Jace has forced me to go after—Nikolai is an anomaly in all of this. But this... this is truly something. I haven't felt this damn human in so long. I never want it to end, selfishly.

My hips shuffle back slowly until my eyes widen at what I find pressing against the curve of my ass.

Two words. He's hard.

And hell, it feels big. I move back a tiny bit, hoping that he doesn't wake up otherwise I'll have to pretend that I'm still asleep. The ridges of his c**k press into my skin beneath the fabric of his clothes and my cheeks begin to flush, heat rushing over every patch of my body.

I chew on my lip and stare at the wall. Oh God. I want to push back on his erection so badly, I want to grind on him and thank him for every kind thing that he's ever done in my favour. He is a man that deserves the world and I'm here to ruin all of that for things outside of my control.

After a few moments I decide to twist in his hold and try my hardest not to wake him from his sleep. I just want to watch him—a little. Nothing creepy. I want to admire his handsome face and look at him as he breathes softly.

For a second I forget that I'm in his bedroom, his bed. It makes my stomach flip and my head turns all giddy at the thought. I have no idea who I think I am with these immature feelings but it feels good and I'm basking in it.

I rotate as slowly as possible as his arms loosen around me. I sink down against his shoulder as my eyes focus on his breathtaking face. Those eyes are still closed and I exhale a silent breath of relief.

Then I admire him. A smile that feels like it's going to be forever permanent. I've never smiled so much as I have when I'm around him. He gives me a reason to live, a reason to breathe.

Hopefully at one point I can get him to understand that I had to do what I had to do. Maybe, just maybe, he'll believe me before he gets the chance to kill me. I might as well enjoy him before I lose everything. I already know I will, no matter how this ends. Because in an alternate universe, he would be a man I'd love to get to know, to be with. But in this story—I already know I don't get my happy ever after because I will never deserve someone like him.

I flick my eyes down to his bare chest. Beautiful and smooth, covered in tattoos. There are a few scars on his skin that look like knife marks, a possible gunshot wound on his collarbone right by his shoulder. Something weird happens inside my chest because I know I can relate.

Although men bear scars and they're seen as fierce, sexy and desirable. Women bear scars and they're seen as broken, weak and used. My eyes harden over them and I wish someone would see my scars and not think about how someone has hurt me, how I must have been abused and I'm nothing but disregarded trash.

It would be nice for someone to see my body and call me beautiful, no mater how horrific they are.

They're scars I don't want to show anyone for my own sanity.

The covers between us have sunk low down on his hips and I can't help but look down at the bulge in his dark boxers that make my mouth water. I know better than to touch someone without their consent. Even though he might be hard, I doubt it's because of me—men get morning erections for no reason all the time.

But after what he did to me in the car, I certainly want to return the favour.

Only if I had his permission.

I snuggle down into the crook of his neck and run the pads of my fingers over his chest slowly. He grumbles something and I hold my breath. I watch him twitch until his eyes open and I hide half of my face into his bicep.

"Good morning," he rasps in that deep voice that makes my panties wet.

"Morning," I whisper into his skin.

Nikolai groans and closes his eyes before rubbing them, his tiredness evident as he stretches and sinks back down into the bed. He wraps his arms around my back and pulls me into his chest, the warmth of his body making me shudder with safety. He is my safety blanket and I don't want it any other way.

"It's a nice surprise waking up to you, Red." He breathes slowly onto the top of my head.

I bite down my smile. "It's also a nice surprise waking up with you pressed into my ass. Hard."

Nikolai barks out a laugh before tilting my head towards him, dark eyes full of exhaustion but I can see the intense lust that simmers there for a long period of time. He doesn't blink it away, he holds onto it with full force. "Let's just say I was dreaming about how you rode my hand in the car. That night was like a movie in f*****g HD. Permanently inked into my mind."

A confident streak rushes through my body as I glance up at him through my fair lashes. "Yeah?"

"Mmm," he nods, clamping down on his lip subtly as he nods. "Yeah."

I lean forward and press a soft kiss to his collarbone, feeling his velvety skin beneath my mouth as I do it again. Nikolai exhales a breath that sounds like he's about to have a stroke and I'm glad that the feeling is mutual between us. I press my hand to the centre of his chest, sliding down his skin and over his tattoos until I'm resting right about the waistband of his boxers.

My eyes smother themselves across his impressive stomach. Muscle after muscle. I have no idea what sort of training he has to do to get a body like this. It's so damn beautiful that he could be a model prototype for an Action Man.

Like I said he is breathtaking.

"Blair," he groans as I palm him through the material of his boxers.

I breathe through my nose sharply when I feel just how long and big his c**k is. My ass wasn't much of a decider but holy s**t, he feels even better with my hand. "Is this okay?" I ask before I dip my finger inside the waistband.

His hand laces through the back of my hair, tightening as he pulls me close to his lips but he doesn't kiss me. He hovers which only amplifies my desire for him and this moment. I flick my eyes down and smirk at the sight of his blissful face.

"Yeah, f**k," he groans. "But only if you want to. Blair, you don't have to do this. You don't—"

"Shhhh," I whisper against his lips like a kiss. "Let me. I want to touch you, feel you."

Nikolai presses his head back into the pillows, clenching my hair tighter which sends shockwaves to my core. I tease the patch of skin above his crotch for a moment, building the tension and the way darkness glows in his eyes. It's haunting, in a beautiful way.

"Holy f**k," he rasps when he throbs against my wrist but I don't touch him yet. "You're going to kill me, Blair. You are going to f*****g kill me."

I don't want to make him wait for too long, so I slip my hand inside until I have my fingers wrapped around the base of his thick c**k. I almost choke at the feeling of him against me, hot and slick.

"Oh s**t," he groans and pulls his lips down to my own.

My eyes flutter shut as soon as his warm mouth elopes on mine. I hum at the pressure that grows inside my head and the happiness of my heart. God, I'm f*****g flying and I never want to come down.

He clamps his hand around my jaw with his spare hand, using the other to keep me still by the leverage of my long hair. I slowly begin to stroke him, up and down, up and down until we're both shivering.

Pre-c*m leaks onto my hand as I pump him over and over, gripping him with a little pressure and using my thumb to circle his sensitive spot. He rasps against my mouth and bites down on my bottom lip, then he sucks and nibbles until I'm the one moaning.

I speed up and whimper. "f**k, Red." He growls into the kiss before pulling away slowly and watching as I move my hand on him as quickly as I can.

My head moves and I peek down at his crotch outside of the covers. I feel my jaw part when I see how ridiculous his c**k looks against the palm of my hand. He's like a f*****g monster that is gleaming with endless pre-c*m.

"Jesus," I hiss under my breath.

Nikolai leans up and nips my jaw. "Like what you see, Blair?"

I nod immediately because I do. c***s have never truly appealed to me because I've never really liked who they've been attached to but Nikolai's is different, his is perfect. I'd love for him to f**k me, to shove it down my throat until I'm swallowing down his c*m.

Oh goodness. What has happened to me?

"Well you're going to make me come," he groans, his stomach tensing beneath my hand. "You want that? You want to see me come? It's for you, Red. f**k. It's all for you."

My nose flares for a split second as I continue to stroke him until he draws our faces back together again but he grazes his lips over mine and holds my stare. "Ohhhh f**k," he moans when thick laces of c*m shoots over my hand and across his stomach.

I almost faint at the intensity in his stare, the heat in the room, the wetness in my pants. His breathless moans fill the air and watching him come all over my hand and himself is the sexiest thing I've ever seen.

"Ohh my God," he exhales as I slow down, finally releasing my grip on his c**k. "What on earth was that for?"

My lip clamps between my teeth. "I wanted to return the favour." I admit.

Nikolai's eyebrow raises. "You don't owe me anything, Red. But that felt f*****g incredible."

I let my smile stretch. "Good," I whisper. "I wanted you to feel like that."

He cups the back of my head, eyes searching for an answer to a question that he hasn't spoken. "You are slowly making me lose sense of everything."

"Handjobs can't change lives," I joke with an eye roll.

A laugh barks from the back of his throat, so f*****g sexy that I clench. "Trust me, the right handjob can definitely change a life. I'm living it right now."

He leans over to his bedside table to wipe off his c*m with a tissue, the sight is heavenly. I'm sure anything he does, I'll forever be mesmerised by. Effortless. All the damn time.

"Shut up," I push his shoulder before hopping off the bed to wash my hands.

He's right behind me, following me inside. I wince when I put pressure on my ankle, completely forgetting that I hurt it last night. It's a sorer than expected but I feel like I'm on cloud nine right now. I don't even care that I might not be able to go to work for a while.

"Easy," Nikolai says from behind me before picking me up off the floor in one swift movement. My entire body is clutched to his, holding me with one strong arm. I exhale a breath, feeling impressed and turned on all in one go. "I got you, Red. I got you."

And for the first time in forever, I believe those words.

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