The Best Thing In Life Was Him

Harrod's Fire Ring

A day to be forever in edible memory, always.  You were so beautiful to me that day.  It was the first day of May, a Tuesday afternoon.  I fell in the pool so deep, so blue, so etched in glass-like splendor.  He was a night in Paris, a day in Milan, an afternoon on Marseilles, an evening in Madrid.  He was my reason for even breathing, my only thing in life.  Never before had I felt such bliss at the hand of anyone.   It was never ending splendor.  A mighty max.  A fudge double ribbon of fudge goodness with hand whipped cream.  A  willingness to succeed made the day!  He never stopped being a man, not for a second.  He really let the tides play over the stones.  Pink and red hot stones in a ring of fire, set there before the stars.  I brought the fancy pizzazz to the table.  Laid all out for him to see everything, nowhere left to hide.  He smelled like musk, a manly scent, musk and sweat, sweet and hot and sssmokey, like a burning ember cast in the frame of Achilles, laid to sleep like a lamb.  Left to burn up in a flame, thought a great deal about it, my friend.  Never to be forgotten.  Like a day away or when the river runs high, high as the sky.  I felt it all that day, a thousand times in my heart.  The fire ran hot as the night, high in 90's, at least.  The bed was left alone, was tossed asunder, was under duress, was in the mood, in a good mood!  Aaron felt like magic to my fingertips, the waves of my brain inching forward inch by inch.  Did he ever make the scene of the Disco? Did he ever make it to number one in the Cosmic Freeland?  Did he ever regret the same decision that caused so much turmoil and strife and unintelligent words making no sense at all.  Why? Why in the world did you begin to doubt this, even for a nanosecond of time.  Aaron was a real girls dream lover, real true blue.  AMBER never knew what she left slip away, like he wasn't special or something.  Rich.  He sure was a good looker, handsome, so dreamy, so cute, so niave, so in tune with what she wanted.  He was perfect in everyday, so perfect.  I had never seen such perfection.  His hair, his body, his face, his lips, the arch of his back.  I often stared at him without him knowing, I could not take my eyes off the prize.  He was a mystery, a clandestine meeting at the matchhead.  He always asked me how I was doing or did I need anything at all.  He never forgot, the morning, the afternoon, the early evening, the midnight oasis.  He was a special kind of guy, so handsome and majestic, like a racing stallion on the brink of winning the race.  A first place ribbon was always his, any day of the week.  He touched my heart like a little boy but like a memory of midnight, he left his mark.  Aron was a looker, so pretty, so ripe.  Gone like the wind, he was never there in my field of vision again.  My love never falters and my life, ended the day he died.  I never felt a single thing, except pain, except a loss so huge and daunting, I cried for him everyday but it did no good.  He never came back to life, no matter how much I wished for him.  I blame the bullets, they knew only death, they breathed death, ate death for breakfast.  The man ought to know my pain, my keening loss, my life as a death March, counting the days and waiting.  Aron, dearest to my heart, I never dreamed of these dark marks on my brow.  Left to want the man I loved, never seen love again, my friend.  Everything ended for me, for us, the day he died.  Never again would I ever be the same.  The killer came and it broke me, my heart was empty, left to its own devices, it dried up like a raisin.  Black as night, cold as the coldest day, it was a frozen freight in my chest.  Expanded to a huge, hard stone, explodes in a strewn of thunder,  pieces never to pieced together again.  I love his way, his smile, his ardent mouth searching for mine, his hands ravishing me, touching me so sweetly and frantic mumblings and talk of the acquisition of the bounty of me, he held on tight and rumbled his way into release, of the overflowing love that flowed out of him and into me, filling every crevice, every pore, everything.  He never thought of missing anything.   He was always up for the prize.  Never say never.   Never turn down an earnest man, willing to work for a day's wages,   Never doubt who says with aplomb, I can do it!  A wise word to your mother.  Say yes to yes.  My momma tried to do the right thing, she always did.  But sometimes she fell short.  I remember it like yesterday.   We had moved to Georgia after first grade started at Fairview. I don't remember my teacher's name, but she had short, blond hair.  It was a year of adventure,  of change, of goodbyes, of never being sure of anything again.  DIVORCE was a hard word to learn.  I never seen them together again.

 It is my certain main thing these past weeks, months, even.  I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.

The whispered shush of the gentle wind let me livd again. He never knew how I loved him, just never had a clue. The sweetest thing I had encountered in this long arduous life, a real winner. Dressed in blues and greens like the gallant gopher in Raymond's place. Stitched and snitched. Here lies a lesser man, eh. Never seen one like him, not even close. He had time to sit with me and just talk of things and nothingness and whispered secrets in the dark. Always a pleasant surprise to touch again his face and find it makes me shiver and gasp for air. Aaron was my mighty hero, my prince, my king, my joker, my jack of spades. He never forgot to always ask me of the love I held in my heart for him. I always said, my love for you is unending and so special, Aaron. He believed me because I showed him again and again. And again. He was always in love with me, my smile, my sighs and slightly muffled moans at times, my spirit and my soul. I was his princess, his queen, his slave, his harem. All that love, wasted and thrown away. But I always have my memories, nothing could ever touch that. It was enough just to have that. Better to have lost at the game of love than never to have made love at all. Silly love songs, how dear, my heart of love. He was always a surprise to me, with his laughter and good humor and that happy way about him. He was a solid keeper, you know. And why he went away is a trick of the gods, some punishment for some old forgotten sin. Lady luck ran out the door that day. She was not waiting outside it, like for Santana, no way. No one else could ever match his smile, his love and devotion, his ravage hunger for anything new and better built, a rip more solid. He left this world better off because he was so loving and caring for anyone, everyone, oh, and me! I was his shooting star, you know. The pot at the end of his rainbow, he always said as he changed and sifted, the love between us gaining altitude and momentum in a six second jag. Rock of ages, my almighty God, my lover, my love. He had plenty of love for me, his mind, his muse, his reason to get naked at least 18 times a day, or so he tried insisting! Most times I just laid back and enjoyed the ride. Wind whipping through the tunnels, hedging near the sails. He loved me always with full speed ahead. I always miss him for that, every day.

I never will forget the one time he laid his head, his long dark hair plaiting itself to my breasts, like superglue. The rush of the moment was always time spent in a delighted daze, bewildered, bedazzled, all sorts of things. Aaron, one so true. A lovely dream for me and such a dream catch! A bright tomorrow shone through the clouds like gossamer. I saw the heralded tiny dancer in the rain. She spun and spun so fast, it was just like a race where she was the only contestant, the only winner.   Won the grand prize! Just could not believe her good luck!