The Best Thing In Life Was Him

The Boy Wonder Complex

Aaron was always so giving and careful with my heart, he always was so giving, a true, true love of mine.  Aaron had a way about him, a fancy way of saying hello or he would know the right thing to say, the right place to go and we would head down some path or trail, to an oasis of time where we would smoke, undress and watch short films, a real clock stopper.  We would drink soda and smoke some more.  Oh, then the party started.   He was mine, all mine for the moments we stole out of time.  I remember like it was just yesterday.  When you saved me from a fate worse than dying and it meant something to me that you came to me and rescued me from the unfortune.  And aaron, you did all the right things at all the right times.   Aaron never once forgot about the things we had talked about or things that we did, he knew the secrets to my soul without me telling him.  He knew the right thing to say to brush away my hurt and leave me hope and the thought of all the promised tomorrows we would share together always.   He would always bring up things that made my heart skip a beat or two, he remembered!  He made me feel like there was nothing he could not do or no dream he could not achieve with the right gameplan and a reachable goal.  He could conquer the world!  He was the warrior and the keeper of my heartstrings.  He never failed to please me in any way, shape or form.  I dreamt he was all that and more. Dear Aaron, The Slightest Touch Holds A Sway On My Heart Strings, Seething To Say The Secret. About Giving My Regards, Aaron, Live To Cherish The Moment. Red wine led the pair to the path of the truckline and the innocence. She dug her own grave that day, digging deep in the trenches. A shovel felt the strain of stretching to seem large as life.   Father always tried to entrench in us kids, kids, you got to be brave! be kind! be steadfast!  We covered all the bases, first base through the home plate! Aaron still remained at the beginning of this all. So sweet was my valentine, a second shell of armor. Dingo ate my baby! Dingo Dongo! The baby was missing for years, many too tired by the years to even care. Deficit in reverse motion and High Voltage, a member of the electric rat salad.  The end is near to me, it seems closer now with its coat of steel. The liberal c***k in the world rained on the parade.  Aaron, how could you leave me? How could you ever begin to please yourself knowing this was coming to an end.  I am sorry for all the pain you must have felt, shot to pieces, rain when I die.  My sweet love, how can I begin to pick up the pieces.  You are gone, my dearest aaron, dead and gone.  The apple fell very close to the tree, almost near the very branch from which it fell from.  Damn, hell to the biting cold, little pieces of shiny, cold icy tears in the wind. The end of time at the beginning of the triumph.   I was all alone and I sent away the crowd, the crumbling and grumbling was an echo in time..  The fair game clause to open air runways to the stars.  Despite the ending, it had a true stellar astrostar on its axis.  Aaron always felt like the easy way out, so forgetful in the day's light, a vanishing point wrapped in gilded skins, a tiny burst of fanfare played along the square.  She always thought of him after this time, all these years, always nearly living by proxy.  The step to line had a start this time.  A fair and fine point to the stars.  Along the winding road she tried to love him and was fancily delighted in the resulting end.  Has a inkling to reach the fine line by midnight black.  A reach beyond the Have Nots and the well to do in life, the Haves.  A lesser lesson was one of the three big lessons.  A tripping time of smoking the BONG was spectacularly worth every penny.  SWEET SMOKING WILDFIRE.   A ripping tear among stars that were bound together eternally.  Heard it through the grapevine you were seen with a secret smile boiling up, starting a war within yourself and the world powers.  Very set in the ways of old school, the quest was a split-level affair.  There was a song he loved to sing in your ear as he lay pretty close to your body with his.  He was a sweet handsome guy, who could ever want more in life than aaron?  Never look to another, never to betray the very love you sought for so long, it made her feel all the more closer to him as a woman, knowing her attention would always place him above herself, he was everything and the way she felt with him, she never felt with anyone else.  He was her dream lover, her dear dear lover, so close, just right there he always was.   Aaron never knew about things like heartache, thank God he never knew that the loss of love would inevitably come and the hurt left to lovers never quite went away, it scarred over roughly.   Cross-eyed mary, did you think it was your due?  The round of croquet, the badminton net, its the arrow after all.  Aaron was always superfly, oh, so wanton, wanting to a desperate lover.  He was brillantly in gilded design suited to the super absolutely, the living end!  Such a thrill to have you here this day.  Mr Sublime, a raft of confusion.  Center from the universe.  The way it was then.  She always said hello, how are you doing today?  He always answered, a great time was had by all!  In the shadows of the days,  shadows of the night.  The other thing was the indecision to call you.  I'm at my wits end.  The end of the line, the last rodeo.  The last light I'll leave on for you.  The end, my friend.  The last of the late night munchies and yesterday's heroes.  The thrill is gone.  A certain type of thrill.  The rest of the time he has to ease up on the gas, going too fast too nowhere.  Hey there, lonely one.  So nice to see you again.  I always said you had what it takes to make it in the big time.  The limelight.  Enough to capture it all.  All the way.  The time of the season.  The belle of the ball.  Aaron certainly had a carte blanch ticket to my merry go round.  An all season's pass.  The bread and butter, meat and potatoes. And gravy, oh, yes, gravy.  The gravy was the best ever.  It had to be a five star recipe, known only to the highly rated mainstay, The FIVE according to garp.  The sizzle is no fizzle.  TRUE STORY.  A true fine beginning and a terrible tragic ending to the story.  Feelings, ah, it's TRUE.  Feelings.  I have known you all my life, girl, it seems to me, that you will always be close to me, close to me.   Donnie.  He was a complete jerk, but sometimes a caring heart, a myriad of things.  A midwestern boy who came from a family tree that went back a few generations in Minnesota.  Has he changedchanged at all or has he gotten worse?  Become a who really knows what, a hermit or a dirty ben?  In this amount of time?  A love story of Coconut and Ermish.  A love story that  ends, a real quiet ending.   A fairy tale set in modern time, sadly so maybe, maybe not.  The room is more less the way it was when she left.  Maybe the time was better spent on other chores, dust have covered memories,the mouse scurried by usually unseen, maybe that is just what I would like to think.  Pictures of them,  ben and her.  Ben and the boy.  The boy.  A newer picture I found told of a hurtful vengance.  I saw the new baby Coconut had now.  A new man at her side.  The son, Riley.  They had moved on, without Ben.  Beginning again.  They were on one side of his parents, Ben standing alone on the other side.

  Old videotapes.  A nirvana CD collection.  The house is haunted, he says.  I think it is the memories that haunt him.  Or maybe it is poltergeists, drawn like a moth to a light to his turmoil and his eternal boydom?  He is smart,  well read, great conversationalist, humorist.  He is funny and witty and super spontaneous.  He is also Moody, a great host or a bad host at times, a real buzzkill crank.  He does things different, that's for sure.  Not in a bad way at all.   He is very big hearted, very aware of things people do.  People who say he smells are too finicky for me.  The day we met at Rick and Dennis, he seemed normal and kind of cute.  But he had showered that day.  Weird.  He was very concerned (a joke)if the gang bang was still happening. I said after me and dolly leave, it sure will.  Looking pointedly at the sky, but I meant Holly.  Sure did, boys, ride that train, I want to get off.  He tried to say he never slept with white women.  They were too crazy.  Well, Well, I can think of Laura.  Oh, Well, Yes.  He is a good person.  Better with a big ass bag of drugs and things were good with three bears dumpster diving.  I love him.

He was the last to know the nickname of Kenny's common law wife.  He would say the nickname over and over  and laugh uproariously or quietly, but still wondering, how was he the last to know?   I told him I just never thought about it, I figured he already knew and was polite enough not to bring it up out of blue.  s**t, even spongebob knew!  Heck, he might have made the nickname up, I mean, she did spend the summer rolling in his car that one year back before she knew kenny.   I knew it for years, how could he not have heard it?.  By himself or by with me, he laughed and laughed, exclaiming, he didn't know how could this have happened?   

Ben Bug! 

1The r**e Song

Dumpster Diver 

A Song About A Rope And A Tree.  Racist?  What the heckers, no way.

He was a beautiful dark-haired guy.  He was a pleaser, alright.   He was completely himself, no dark secrets here.  Though it seemed there wasn't, there was the enigma side to him.  The pleasantness.  The final countdown.  Ben would seek and destroy.   He would tell me all about it.  My lips were tender, sorry for hours after.  It was more of a lover type thing than Aron could ever show.   But then he turned away after just like aaron.  He never said nothing about love but he sure thought I had pretty blond hair.  Of course, I did.  Love and s*x.  s****l love.  There is a big difference.  No love for me.   What the f**k!  A loss of everything and less is more, more is less. I am missing out on everything, love, laughs, money, things, presents, rollerskates, grand ideas, a little luck, dreams are made to fade away. The world sat at the edge of time yesterday. It fell upside down and inside out. Hello and how do you do? Killers in the road, in the alley, on the stairs, on the credenza, on the fly, on the job, ready to roll with it. I remember watching roots when we were supposed to be going to bed. It was a hotel/motel, I thought it was California but I think it was closer to Georgia. Roots ran from January 21 to 30, 1977. So that kind of pinpoints the time in my life. It was when we were driving to Georgia from Alaska. I thought the world was an oyster, slimy but soft like silk. I thought the gas station, Texaco was actually Tracy! The world was my oyster, indeed. We had a pink station wagon and we lived in Woodside Village. Apartment #?, don't know. A time of change, a whole lot of things to come and then go, you know.  Everything changed directions, wind to the willows.  Despite what she said, it all turned out alright.  A wicked wind, a star chaser.