BOUND, BRED, AND BROKEN BY THE DEVIL

CHAPTER 5: YOU ARE WIRED WRONG, ELODIE

CHAPTER 5: YOU ARE WIRED WRONG, ELODIE

ELODIE'S POV

Was I imagining him? Was it something else entirely? And why—why—does it still feel like his tongue is on me?

Mom’s arms tighten around me as though she can protect me from whatever is eating me alive. But she can’t. She doesn’t even know what it is.

And I don’t have the courage to tell her.

What am I supposed to explain to her?

"Hey mom, take a look here. You want to know why I was like this on the bed? Dad was sucking my clit."

Oh my God.

I shake my head quickly, finding the shivers coursing through me as she tries to hold me, cradling me tighter, and I allow myself to stay put, completely overwhelmed and engulfed by her motherly hug. I'm going to have to engage myself in long time of thinking and reasoning to organize my brain on whatever the f**k this is because this, no, absolutely hell no. I cannot deal with this.

I keep on shaking my head trying to grind myself in her embrace. Her beautiful sweet warmth is supposed to grind me, is supposed to keep me in check, make me feel loved, make me feel adored.

I can't help it, something is really really wrong and broken in me. I feel the shame clawing back into my system, making me tremble as I shake in her arms.

" Hey, it's okay baby, it's okay sweetie, okay? Come on, you shouldn't be acting like this. This is the eve to your birthday." She glances at the clock. "Oh, it's 12:00 am already, it's your birthday already. You're already 18 years old. Oh please, okay, stop crying, okay? This is supposed to be a happy day. It's really breaking my heart to see you like this."

She continues to console me as I allow myself to fall deeper in her arms, grinding myself in the comfort of her soothingness. But at that exact moment when I'm about to return back to my normal state, the door to my room swings open and the both of us jolt instantly, turning to look at the entrance and I see Dad standing there gazing at the both of us with a heavy frown on his face.

" Elodie? Mira? What's wrong? Why is she looking like a mess?" He says with that worried tone in his face that I've gotten accustomed to and I blink rapidly looking at him with confusion bracing my features.

He steps slowly into the room, shutting the door behind him, moving closer and I find myself flinching, jerking away from him as if he burns and he notices it instantly. He stops, observes me for a few minutes with his eyelids squinted.

" Elodie, it's me. Are you okay? What is wrong? Do I look scary?" He requests with mortification embracing his feature and steps closer, squatting down in front of me.

I find myself flinching, reacting to the slightest movement of his fingers even when he wants to hold me and he and Mom look at each other with confusion gracing their features.

" Uhm... Elodie, did something wrong happen? Did you have a bad dream? This is your dad here. Why are you scared of him touching you? Talk to us. What is wrong ? This is so not you." Mom asks.

I open my mouth but I suddenly lost control of my vocabulary. My throat feels constricted. Yeah, this is nonsense. What the hell are you going to tell them, Elodie? Yeah. Ask yourself that f*****g question.

"I'm so sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry, Dad. I had a kind of very crazy silly imagination that you were doing some nice, deliciously, blissfully, nonsense, filthy things to me and now that you're here, I just, I don't even know. I can't help it. "

Good Lord me. I slap my face mentally and shake my head. Comport yourself, Elodie. Behave yourself. I remind myself.

I chuckle nervously and shake my head.

"No, no, nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything is fine. I'm sorry. I just... I wa... I wasn't expecting you guys to be here. I am totally fine. It's okay. I'm fine. It was just a silly bad dream or imagination or something." I say and I notice the way Dad smiles.

Yes, and now that is the smile that I know. The smile that I've gotten accustomed to over the past 18 years of my life. The normal, natural, realistic, beautiful smile of my dad that makes my heart lurch for him. That makes my heart beat so fast. That makes me ..

I just... oh my God, something is so f*****g wrong with you, Elodie. At least, the contrast is very clear. Very clear, completely different from that sinister dark smile from whatever it was I was having in my imagination. That horrifying beautiful monster that made me feel things. That made me ache. That made me cry. That made me want to do the absurd. Oh my God. That med rme want to f**k someone with he image of my dad's face.

Uurgh.

Now that I think about it.... It's f*****g absurd. What the hell were you thinking Elodie?

I know you are wired wrong, Elodie. I know you are not f*****g thinking with your brain.

But that doesn't mean you should indulge in the act? That doesn't mean you should imagine it!!!

Jesus, do not let this happen again, Elodie. You should not be thinking about these things. I find myself thinking to myself, glancing at my handsome dad, smiling beautifully at me.

He raises his hand, brushes strands of hair away from my face and my eyelids flutter on their own accord, unable to help it. Unable to help the dizzying feeling, the overwhelming sensation of the person my heart longs and aches for, caring for me tenderly and I bite down hard against my bottom lip.

Oh my God, why am I finding it so hard to look away from his beautiful, magnetic golden brown eyes gazing at me with that loving tenderness a father should give.