A Wallflower (Kingdom of Anthos)

Chapter 2: To Wake up

I woke up to the sight of wood…white wood… a canopy of a canopy bed. 'What?' Closing and opening my eyes again, it is still a canopy. ‘O-kay, wherever this is let’s get up and find out’

My body feel sluggish but I managed to sit up. Observing with wide eye and a bit of slow mind on my surroundings. I was sleeping in a canopy bed of white wood and was draped with fully enclosed curtains of lavender and pastel blue. Upon examining by beddings, I was actually cocooned on a blanket, a duvet I realized with the same shade or a bit lighter, than the curtains although the beddings were actually a darker shade.

Now I am confused, we don't have this kind of bed at home or anywhere near the area where my accident occurred I think. And I highly doubt there are any hospitals with this kind of bed. This is technically a luxury room if ever, which is nay impossible for my family to send me. While trying to process this I was hit by a bit of dizziness and had the sudden urge to vomit. My body was like in auto pilot, opening the bed curtains, standing up, rushing to the bathroom that I didn't even know was located there, as if I have done these hundred times, which as far as I know I did not. After my supposed dinner (dinner? Why dinner? I only ate lunch a few hours ago) have resurfaced in the toilet, I led myself to the sink and washed my face, looking at the mirror and met with a surprise. A sensation of being drenched in cold water, memories of the darkness suddenly resurfacing. Swaying a bit by the sudden onslaught of memories and information I steadied myself at the sink and looked up again, face to face with the mirror reflection. Closing my eyes again then opening it with the act of steadying and calming myself. I looked at what was in front of me.

The mirror shows a young woman that was clearly not me. It was Camellia. 'Eh? But this is a mirror, right?'

Placing a finger on the surface and the touch was met by glass. Tugging of hair, touching my face, Yup it is a mirror. Meaning? 'Why am I looking like Camellia?!' A slight panic is rising on me but I quelled it down to think rationally.

Although staring at my not face from one eyebrow to another to nose and the lips, I can see some similarities. It looks like Camellia and I have the same face shape, eye shape and lips, not the nose though sigh. When Camellia is all colors, as far as I know I was all black.

'Still part of a dream, I guess'

Observing my supposed body. I realized I am wearing a somewhat dress in cream made by a cloth of something I can’t remember the name, was it Muslin? I think this is called a night gown of sorts? Now that I think about it, looking around this bath looks a bit designed like it was from an older era in my world. 'Let's look for a tooth brush first, can't stand the taste of vomit in my mouth'

'Hmm, what does toothbrush look like in this place and time, Do toothbrush even exist here?,' I thought while rummaging to the mini cabinet near the sink. 'Aha, here it is.. a wooden toothbrush, makes sense'

After taking care of the morning rituals that Camellia does every morning according to my dream memory or more like according to this body’s memory. I left the bath and observed her room. The bathroom was located at the south of the room. The canopy bed on the right side with bedside tables on both sides candle lamps atop of them, a study on the left nearing a vanity. A window in the north facing the gardens of the dormitory. Below the window is a mini sitting area, where I think Camellia does her reading and sometimes drink tea to relax. A bit away from the vanity almost south of the room and near the bathroom are two doors. The right one will be the door that leads to the hallway, while the left one is a wardrobe. Sitting again in the bed, I tried to deduce my current situation.

First things first, let's enumerate facts here. It looks like I am still in a dream, hopefully really a dream. In this dream I am Camellia, and I 'woke up' probably from the last night of crying for her Prince Lark but didn’t she die? Let’s set aside that information later. Continuing if yesterday is the fifth day of the week, of course today is the sixth day meaning Camellia will be expected to be home by mid-day to the Strelitzia Family Home (more like a small mansion) at the Royal Capital.

The Academy classes are five days a week, the afternoon of the fifth day up to the sixth day is a free time for the students. They have a choice between going home or staying at the Academy, although young ladies are expected to go home and be back to the Academy before dinner time of the seventh day of the week. The seventh day is the day of worship. So~ converting it to my world. Classes are Monday to Friday, Saturday is free day and Sunday is church day. Same as my schedule. Kinda. Decisions, decisions. Let’s just wing this for the time being.

By the position of the sun outside the window, I can safely say that it is probably about pass eight in the morning. 'Does Camellia even have a clock in here?' Looking around I found the clock was by the bed side table. 'Oh I was right, I or Camellia have slept in'. Camellia usually wakes up on free day by pass six in the morning and go to breakfast a bit before eight. It is either a breakfast in the grand hall or in bed provided by Camellia's maid servant Holly. According to Camellia's memories, Holly should be here right now, she usually comes here to help Camellia bath and dress for the day. All maidservants and aides are allowed at the Academy from six in the morning to ten in the morning and four in the afternoon to eight in the evening to help their masters and mistresses. An escort is also present same time as them but are not allowed in the dormitory areas.

According to Camellia's memories, she have asked Holly not to come to the Academy on the afternoon of the fifth day, but to come as usual the next day the reason is unknown. 'So, where is Holly?' Standing up, I made my way to the wardrobe, upon opening I was already expecting it but was still surprised by the garments inside. The usual academy uniforms and other dresses that belong or can be categorized in my world as Victorian era fashion. 'I really need Holly for this, even if I can technically dress myself, I don't even know what half of this garments are called or where to use what.' Rummaging more in the wardrobe. 'Corsets, seriously?' While trying to wrap my brain on the sheer ridiculousness of the clothes. I heard a door slam open. Three girls already dressed for the day entered, both are older than Camellia, probably her brother and Prince Lark's year mates. They look surprised to see me still in night clothes though.

"We deeply apologize for this Lady Camellia, but please understand His Highness Prince Lark have ordered us, we don't have a choice" they said while bowing.

"What are you-" I was trying to ask but, suddenly there where arms wrapping both of mine and trying to drag me.

"Hey, wait! Let me go" I was struggling to free myself, but they were stronger, and considering that whatever happened to Camellia last night her body is weaker than normal, dying and all that. I barely saw and understand what really is happening. I was dragged out of the room and thru the hallways. People are looking, whispering and pointing at us. While this is happening I was still struggling and trying to free myself, I can hear my own heart beating faster, and my breath became pants, cold sweat are forming. When we came to the floors common room, they dragged me to the center in front a group of people standing in semi-circle, and others are loitering in the corners of the room, but were looking at me with pity but the others with glee. The girls forced me in kneeling position, then let me go. I tried to stand up but a firmer, stronger hand stopped me, obviously a man.

"Please let go of me" I said to the man. Sir Trevor of House Yarrow son of the chief of the 3rd squadron of Knighthood. A chief whose Baron title was given by the His Majesty the King for his deeds during the three-way war 'He's strong as expected of someone who was trained for knighthood from early age'

"Could you please let go, you are hurting me" I said to him, but he did not even give me a reaction at all, just looking down at me with eyes full of contempt. "Let go of me, you who calls himself a knight, the one who have sworn to protect the weak, you are showing the opposite right know. Let go!" I demanded.

"Weak? You are not weak. Don't make me laugh" another male voice have spoken. I looked up and saw Camellia’s older brother Jarred, looking at me with eyes full of sarcasm, expression full of disbelief but there is a lingering guilt. Upon seeing him, I realized that the people forming the semi-circle in front of me, was Prince Lark's friends and of course Lady Althea's also. Prince Lark was at the center, holding Althea in his left arm almost hugging her. Our eyes met.

"Why have you been harassing Althea?" Prince Lark asked with a tone of barely restrained anger, eyes full of scorn.

"Harassment, what harassment? Right now I am the one who is being harassed by this man" I said confused but defiant while talking about Sir Trevor.

"Do not make excuses, Camellia. I already heard most of it! You who has been snubbing Althea, you who demands that she should distance herself from me! You who have created rumors making her sound like a harlot! You who had insulted her by leaving the afternoon tea she had lovingly prepared without per say!" Prince Lark looked at me, glared at me as if challenging me to deny all those accusations. 'How dare this man make such accusations which technically is true but I digress, Camellia might wither by that look but I will not. Where is that man Camellia loves? '

"With all due respect Your Highness, from whom did you hear such rumors. Yes I might have snubbed her at first but that is befitting with my position, you must know Your Highness that I cannot interact with people below my social status without formal introduction. Your Highness you have never introduced us to each other, but I had let it slide and let her talk to me to please you. Demands? Was it wrong for me to ask her to respect my status as your fiancé?" I answered with pride, with reasons that I have come up with a drop of a hat. Yes I can admit I am making excuses for Camellia. This situation is already out of hand and I am just going with the flow as usual in my life and also try to deviate the worse possible consequences Camellia might face. But am I helping her or not?

"Excuses!" Camellia's brother shouted, and his cohorts nodding, agreeing with him.

I looked each of them in eyes, a glare to Jarred (a wince from him) and settled back with Prince Lark. "What evidence do you have, your highness?"

"Trevor, let her stand" Prince Lark ordered. I let out a relived sigh when I was assisted in standing up, Thinking finally it is over, but I was wrong, really wrong. Price Lark suddenly held my arm tightly, holding me as if trying to squeeze my arm and make it burst. And it was too painful, I know it will bruise. He looked at me in the eyes and said "Your status as my fiancé? Is that your reason? Then let me relieve you of it" He gave me mocking smile and addressed everyone in the room.

"Everyone, from this day forward. I Prince Larkspur of Anthos hereby declare that my engagement to this woman Lady Camellia of Strelitzia is annulled!" He looked at me still with that mocking smile of his "Now you do not have a reason" He then let go of me by pushing me back. I almost stumbled but I caught my footing. Thank god for ballet lessons from my world.

'What the F~, that escalated quickly, I have made it worse, I'm sorry Camellia, but this is for the best, we will walk away from this with dignity as much as I can.'

I looked at him somewhat teary eyed channeling all of Camellia's frustration and heart break, but holding it back so it will not look like I was losing my cool. While holding my somewhat injured and still painful arm I gave him a teary smile and said "Your Highness, if your real agenda is to annul our engagement, we could have done it without this much humiliation on my part. Accusing me of such things without evidence, dragging me from my room, presenting me to this people while I am still wearing my night clothes, and then subsequently announcing such thing. You have ensured that I will be exiled from high society, my reputation in tatters. What have I done to deserve this kind of humiliation" I breathed deeply and continued "The only thing that I have done is to love you and give my heart to you" Prince Lark looked taken a backed by my admission, but before he can say something, I continued "But why? Why have you humiliated me like this?" I let a lone tear freely flow for the effect. I am such a good actress even I technically this is all Camellia’s feelings.

The room met with silence. I can feel most young ladies are a bit sympathetic with me. And the young men are looking away from me as if suddenly realizing, that yes I am still wearing my night clothes. Which is a Big No No in this society as far I can guess with Camellia's dream memory. Being seen in public with only night clothes especially by a man, is a big social suicide for a young lady. Having your engagement annulled is big stain on a young ladies' reputation. Having an annulled engagement with a royalty in this setting as if he is declaring that you are severely lacking is a guarantee that you will not have any further courtship in the kingdom at all. Combining all of this is a sure expulsion from the high society and the Royal Academy.

Addressing everyone in room I said "I know that this will be the last time I will see everyone in this Academy. As such I would like to express my farewells and gratitude to the people that have supported and treated me well. Farewell my friends"

With much dignity that I can muster. I turned around and headed to leave the common room with the intent of going back to my room.

'Camellia, Stop!" Prince Lark called. My heart skipped a beat. 'Is he going to apologize to Camellia?' "Aren't you going to apologize to Althea?"

Seriously?! Apologizing to her is tantamount as bowing to her. It is as if his saying that the Grand Ducal house of Strelitzia should bow to a Viscount house. This is not pride, but this is how this society works. Daughters are still representative of their house, their actions are more scrutinized than that of sons. Camellia's exile from high society will be met with punishment from the Grand Duke, bowing to a daughter of Viscount might lead to drastic measures.

'The nerve of this man, what did Camellia have seen in him? He is not that lovable and kind as what her memories portray, hmmm…that can probably be accounted for blindness of love or was it something more'

I turned around and faced him. "I will not apologize. I have done what I taught at that time was right. I have done it for self-preservation. I will not concede, wasn’t this humiliation already enough?"

For the more subtle shift of focus and more sympathy, I let my tears freely flow and addressed the woman who have started this all "Lady Althea, I wonder what more can you deprive me further? You have taken everything already. My position, my fiancé, my brother... The least you could do is to let me leave this place with dignity."

I turned around and immediately left. But before I was completely turned I saw Althea's reaction. She might have looked like confused as if asking what am I saying, but her eyes show subtle satisfaction, really subtle and fast. Camellia herself might not be able to see that subtle shift of reaction, but I was able too. I trained myself to see such things, she reminds me of my family from my world. This Althea is nothing but trouble. Camellia is right she is a snake in sheep’s clothing.

Exiting the common room, I took a deep breath and proceeded to walk to Camellia’s room, already thinking of ways to lessen the pain in my arm. But I was hit by a sudden realization.

'Pain?, Why am I feeling pain. This is a dream. I should not be able to feel pain….right?'

It felt like I was drenched with cold water for the second time this morning. If this is not a dream then what is this? ‘Did I already died and reborn as Camellia. Was this what Camellia is talking about? Time traveling soul? Why here? And also, this world is not the same as mine. I am Camellia? I did not agree to this!’ While thinking about this and having an incoming panic, I was suddenly swaddled by a cloth.

"Milady" It was Holly. She draped a shawl on me to probably to cover me up. She is in near tears. "How could they do this to you?"

"I-" I don't know what to say. The possibility that I am stuck being Camellia, that I am Camellia is beginning to sink in. This is not a dream.

"You are shivering my lady, I knew it, you are not feeling well" she said while guiding me back to my room. Our walk was silent, although I can hear whispers/murmurs from the surroundings, but my mind was not there. When we entered she guided me to sit in the bed. Then Holly suddenly broke down. Crying heavily while kneeling in front of me.

"I apologize milady, I shouldn't have left you alone" she said with tears streaming from her eyes. "I only left for a moment to get your breakfast and medicine, but it is no excuse, I apologize milady-"

My mind is blank, still reeling from realization that this is not a dream. But focusing on Holly, I did not understand her until I realized that she was talking about "the confrontation" earlier. So, Holly arrived early, but since I was still asleep and probably running a fever because she looked for medicine she left for a bit. If it was the original me I will not believe her or question every excuse she's going to say and every hidden agenda that she may have, in my mind only of course. But, to Camellia, Holly is the only one she can trust wholeheartedly. Hmmm what to say.

"-and then milady if the master so as tried to punish you severely, disownment or imprisoned to the church. I will come with you. My loyalty does not lie with the Grand Duke but to you. And I know Ash will also-" I didn't realize Holly was still speaking until I caught a word from what she is saying.

"Wait, what? Church?" I asked cutting her ramblings.

"Milady?" She asked. She looked at me with sympathy, wiping her tears, touched my forehead as if checking if my temperature is alright. "Milady, I think, you are still unwell. Please have your breakfast and I will ready the bath" She stood up and started to arrange the tray with my breakfast on eat.

"Yes..alright." I answered. Reaching out and settling the tray. A thought crossed my mind. "Holly, is the carriage already here?" I asked.

"Yes, milady. I have asked the coachman and Ash to wait for us since you have instructed that we will leave the Academy early today" She answered, as I was starting to eat. Swallowing the soup first I said "Then as soon as I am dressed for the day, we will leave, it is detrimental if I have not arrived home before Father does and explain to him my earlier ordeal personally"

"As you wish Milady, please excuse me for a moment I will ready the bath"

The Church. To be sent to church, in this world that would be tantamount to be imprisoned in good will. To be sent to church as a woman it means leaving inside the church not seeing the outside world forever or as deemed by the head, for rehabilitation they say. Although rumors that some of those sent to church took their own lives after years, they were not able to continue the life of forced nun hood. It is very very different from my world. The church here is not the same as church or any religion in my world.

"Milady, the bath is ready" cutting through my thoughts Holly approached me and took care of the bowl and utensils that I have used. I realized that I was doing an automatic eating while thinking deep a normal event for the original me. But not normal for Camellia I think because Holly is looking at me in confusion, but she probably chalked it up as my shock with what happened earlier.

Holly has asked me to drink a sort of syrup (‘it is a potion, Milady’) as medicine and guided me to the bath. I can actually walk alright but I think Holly needs this as reassurance that I am not really angry with her. She helped me removed my clothes and get on the bath. A bit embarrassing at first, but Camellia's memories and experience helped. I really should start thinking and addressing Camellia's memories as mine, before I accidentally say something that may lead to more undesirable situation.

"Ah~…looks like in any time or place or world, a soaking in bath after a really stressful experience is always heaven"

"Milady, is the water alright" Holly asked from outside the bath room door. I can hear rustling of clothes. She is probably preparing my clothes to be used today.

"Yes, it is. It is perfect. Do not worry Holly" I reassured her.

Well~ continuing on my earlier thoughts. With the earlier confrontation and humiliation, the possible punishment for Camellia is either disownment or to be sent to the church. But right now, Camellia and I are the same person, I could care less but looks like self-preservation kicks in. I might not have accepted this fully, but I cannot let myself be sent to the church. Disownment is preferable, at least with skills and knowledge I have from my original world I might survive. And I know that if ever it happened and Holly and the others really did follow me, they can survive way way better than me or well the original Camellia. But even so, I would need to plan ahead and try avoid both scenarios. The Grand Duke can be reasoned as long as it will be of greater impact for the family, political, monetary or social wise. Now that I think about it, it is kind of silly in a sense, the reasons for my expulsion from both the Academy and the high society is somewhat a normal occurrence in my old world. Pajama parties and viral break up scenes and more violent confrontations in social media hello~

With a plan forming in my mind, using and analysing all of Camellia's memories and knowledge of the workings in this world, I began to dry myself put on my under garments and left the bath. Holly guided me in the changing area (I did not see that earlier, where did that came from?) and helped me in my clothes. A pale yellow bodice over lace corset over a chemisette and a skirt in the same shade adorned with elaborate embroideries of flowers over a few layers of petticoats. It was Camellia's best dress she currently have in the dormitory and I can barely move. Holly even arranged my hair in a very stylish loose waves with braided hair at the top designed like a headband. I can already see what Holly is thinking on why she chose this dress for me to wear for my 'last' exit in the Academy. The cut of the dress might say it is for simple and daily wear but the design and quality screams wealthy and upper class, it is like I am telling the Academy students that I might be exiled from the society but I am still richer and far more beautiful than them. A very dramatic exit. Holly can be vindictive in a very subtle way when she wants to be.

"Milady" Holly called as she is passing my shawl to me.

"Holly, when we arrive home please have it arranged that the other maids from our house will pack up my things and send it home the soonest if possible"

"Yes, Milady, I will arrange for Poppy and Sue to pack up this afternoon."

As we left the room and locked it, there were other young women lingering in the hallway not so subtly waiting for my reappearance. Well they were shocked and some envious. I stood tall and walked with confidence (a bit hard to do with the dress, okay not a bit but really really hard), not looking at them. Holly and I walked in silence, she always a step behind me as expected of her. Loud murmurs have erupted when I entered the entrance foyer and left by the main door. Our carriage, extravagant as expected, is waiting for us near the designated area for them. I was greeted by my escort and friend.

"Princess" Ash greeted with a bow. He smiled but with worry in his eyes. He is worried for me. I smiled at him. This guy since we were children he only called me princess. Depending on the audience, it can be with respect, endearing, teasing or mocking. Ash have never been afraid in showing his real personality to me and telling what he really think of. It is one of the reasons why he and Eus or sometimes with Holly often quarrel.

"Ash, it is good to see you" I greeted him. As he was opening the carriage door he said "Princess, we will always follow you, do not forget" and proceeded to assist me in climbing the carriage.

"I know and thank you" I replied. He smiled, then greeted Holly and also assist her in climbing the carriage with me. As soon as we were settled, Ash closed the carriage door and with a wave to us, left and climb beside the coachman. A few minutes later we are already moving out of the Academy.

'This is farewell then'

During the ride, I realized that I was already treating and calling myself as Camellia. All of Camellia's memories and experience is merged with mine, all of her feelings and worries are also merged with mine. No wonder I suddenly felt sad leaving. The beginning of my acceptance. The original me is not a very trusting person, but I think Camellia have soften it a bit, or probably because even for a short moment I have felt the genuine care from Holly and Ash. A first as far as I remember for the original me. But this is still surreal, it makes me wonder of a possibility that I will wake up and be back as me. But I will live this life as Camellia wishes and I will face the issue of the original me when it comes. But before all that.

'Let's prepare in dealing with Father, His Grace the Grand Duke~'