Letting go of Pain

Chapter 18

The boys practically engulfed the roast. I don't think they chewed it. Wow, boys truly eat like boys. When I came here I and dad always shared our meal because;

1.)   We couldn't afford to buy 2 meals. 

2.)   Because I have always had a tiny appetite. 

I have only had a few bites and my stomach feels like it is going to explode. I haven't eaten so much since forever. As much as it is delicious I feel like I am going to be sick. "You ok"? Bruno whispered. "Yeah, I'm just full". He looked worried and looked at me with sympathy. Probably thinking I have anorexia or something. "I can finish it"! Before I could say anything 

Louis snatches my plate already scoffing it down. Vince and Alex give him a dirty look and Enzo and Milo whack him in the back of the head. "Your sister was eating that"! Alex growls. 

"No, I wasn't"! now I am the one getting the dirty looks. Mary and Harry walk in together hand in hand. I have always admired their love for each other. "Hey, sweetheart how was it? was it as good as you remember"? 

"Better". Harry smiles at me. Marry pulls out a seat next to me. "I am sorry about Margaret sweetheart. I know that we haven't been here for you! But we are here now". I force a smile to come at my lips. "Thanks". I sigh avoiding her eyes. "Here is our phone numbers! We are to never again lose contact with one another". Harry orders giving me a stern look. "Ok". I smile feeling my heart melt and my stomach flutter. 

Harry and Vince shake hands. I can see sweat beads on the top of Harry's head as Vince death glares him. Marry holds both of my hands. "Now you have my phone number! Call me anytime". This feels like the hundredth time she has told me this. She has basically threatened my life if I don't call her. We all exchange hugs then wave our goodbyes. I feel a tug on my heart as we leave. I feel my eyes watering but I close my eyes to stop them. Why does it hurt so much? It feels just like last time did.. when I left them. But I can't let it bring me down. I can't let myself get attached... I can't let myself miss them... because if I do... all my emotions will come back. My heart will feel like I have a dagger in my heart constantly... I will be weak... I won't be strong... I will be pathetic... I won't be brave... 

I will fill more broken.

**

My eyes hung heavy and my hands were endlessly shaking..  I changed into a baggy hoodie and in some jeans that hung loosely on my scrawny legs. My hair loosely waved down my back barely brushed.  But did I care? Not a single f*****g bit. I got out of the room I was staying in. Even though I had just slept a night in a five-star hotel it might as well have to be a cheap zero-star motel. Because I got zero sleep last night. The sun has barely risen but I can't stay in my room. All I could think about was the court trial.. the questions I will be asked... my heart raged and my anxiety was at its highest peak. 

I walked down the hall about to enter the kitchen until I heard an interesting conversation. "Dude I don't understand why Dad expects to f*****g baby her! He expects us to treat her us some precious little petty f*****g princess". Louis growled. Wow, I thought they were never going to talk about me again... liars.

"I know Louis, but he just wants us to be nice to her. He wants us to bond... he fills guilty that she's had to live so alone". Luke sighs. Wow so the only reason they were nice to me is that they were forced to and that they pity me.

"Dude he's acting as if she has been tortured all her petty little life. The people who raised her were just drug dealers. That's all! All she is doing at the moment is being a f*****g attention seeking dirty b***h. She is breaking this family and more importantly, she is hurting dad. I hate her. for all, I care she f*****g lay in a grave". My breathing hitched and I felt this endless tugging on my heart. Tears fell down my eyes... why do his words hurt me so much?

"You don't mean that! She is our sister! She is Bruno's twin ".

"I f*****g do mean it. she is no sister of mine. She is only ever going to hurt Bruno and be a burden on this family. The sooner dad realizes that and gets rid of her the better". 

I walked back about to go into my room until I hit a wall. I wait to hit the ground only for strong hands to catch me. I look up to see Enzo. His tall suited muscular frame looming over me as if he was a giant and I was only a mere mouse. "Breanna"? I heard the voices in the kitchen stopped. I cleared my throat and wiped the tears. I blinked my eyes at Enzo. "What"?

"Lose the tone". Enzo growled staring at me. I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry what"? he sighed then pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"Why are you crying"? I scoffed then heard footsteps come closer. "Pfft, I am. not. Crying.. that is a good joke... Now if you excuse me". I walk past him entering my room shutting it swiftly before locking it. 

Enzo pov: 

I look at Louis and Luke my eyes darkening and my jaw clenching. "What happened"? I growl. They both gulp loudly and shift nervously. Good, they should be f*****g nervous. I might not know much about my Sorella but seeing tears in her eyes makes me want to set this whole f*****g city on fire. "I'm waiting". I walked closer to them towering over them. They shifted back obviously afraid. By the way, they are acting I know it is their fault that my baby Sorella had tears. "I will. Not. Ask. Again. What the f**k happened". I asked my deep voice roaring through the empty halls. 

"We were just talking about her". Luke blurted. He hung his head low clearly ashamed of his actions. If dad knew that his baby daughter and our baby sister had tears in her eyes because of these two dickheads. Their two heads would be hanging on the wall right now. "Really? After papa told you specifically not too and that he promised out baby Sorella that we would never again speak about her badly again". I raised my eyebrows narrowing my now blacks at them. If they were anyone else they would be dead right now with their vocal cords slashed out of their throats. For talking badly about my baby Sorella. But sadly, they are my i***t twin baby brothers. 

"So tell me, dear brothers. Please enlighten me of what you said and why you thought it was such a good idea to talk shamefully about our baby Sorella". Luke said nothing he just looked nervously at me then to Louis. I then heard two pairs of footsteps walk behind me. but I know it is Alex and Milo who are probably confused. 

"Maybe because that f*****g attention seeking w***e isn't really my sister. All she is a big f*****g mistake. She is just an abomination and a burden given by our w***e mother". I slapped Louis, the loud slap echoed through the hotel room. Louis looked at me with big wide eyes while Luke looked terrified. Milo and Alex narrowed their eyes down at Louis angry and disappointed in him. "this is not how Father has raised us". I shook my head overly disappointed in him. 

"You are to apologise to our sister and make it up to her. if not then I will personally make sure that you are banned from the rest of the fighting season". He didn't say anything but stormed out of the room into the balcony. "I'm sorry I don't know what has gotten into him". I nodded at my little brother. Knowing well that he felt guilty. "why don't you check on you sister hmm"? He didn't seem affected at all but seemed more relieved. he left to go check on Sorella. I was now left with Milo and Alex. 

"What has gotten into him". Alex sighed. Louis has always being hot-headed but he knows the value of family. That has always being fathers top lessons always teaching us the value and importance of family. But apparently Louis is thinking differently now and is much needed for another lesson. I was not sure what I expected when I was told I had a little sister. I half expected for her to be some shy and innocent. But I was very surprised and shocked of what I saw. She was so completely different to anything I thought my sorella would be like. I thought she was going to be some broken teen. but instead, she acts with stainless steel guarded wall up around her all the time. She is very tough and acts so defensive and angry all the time. It is as if her head is programmed to be forever in fight mode. When she walked in through to the door. Seeing the tiny scrawny teenager girl. The only time I have seen her relax and let her guard down was last night with those people. We all expected to just have dinner at the place she had brought us too. But what we all didn't expect was some sort of reunion. We were all so baffled with questions. Why hasn't she seen them in so long? How does she know these people?

"I don't know". I sighed.