The Guard’s Daughter

I feel so betrayed

My father is waiting for me when I get home from school. I try to look unconcerned. He encourages me to sit. We have what he refers to as a chat. What it really is though is him telling me how it’s going to be. My mother has a sister. Annette, Aunt Annette who I’ve never heard of before. She lives in Seattle. My father thinks now is the best time for an extended visit.

I disagree. What I want though is of no concern to my father and he tells me to pack. My flight is tomorrow morning. I refuse to cry. I refuse most things. I don’t eat for the rest of the day. I’ve never been away from my father not really. Yes he travels a little for work but this is different. He intends for me to finish my senior year there.

I’m going to be alone with a stranger. I’m going to be away from Gio. I won’t smell his aftershave or see him. I want to cry but I resist.

At least I’ll be away from Victor. That’s what I decide to focus on. I can dress without being afraid he’ll try to touch me. I can maybe sleep without the pocket knife under my pillow.

I run to the bathroom my nerves in bad shape. I just make it to spill the contents of my stomach. This is my home. I know it’s weird. This is all I know. I spend the next five minutes hyperventilating. Finally I calm down enough to sleep against the bathroom door.

The house manager Opal who when we were younger was our nanny comes to wake me. Opening the bathroom door hits my head and so I wake up sad and in pain.

“Will I see him before I go?”, I ask.

“Of course sweet girl he’s your father”, Opal tells me.

“No not him. Gio”, I say.

She nods and reluctantly I get up and grab my luggage. I walk all the way down the stairs and outside to the waiting black Escalde. Gio is outside of it and quickly gathers my luggage and puts it in the car. I quickly get in the passenger seat.

The drive to the the airport is relatively fast traffic is light. We don’t speak. When we get to the airport though he handles my luggage and after making sure I have my ticket and boarding pass leaves me.

I don’t let him go though. I catch up to him quickly.

“I love you”, I tell him.

“No you don’t. You don’t even know me. And if you did I can promise you wouldn’t. I’m not a good man. I’m no good for you. Do yourself a favor and forget me”, he says.

He walks away from me. I break. Right there in the airport I cry. I cry through security, boarding, on the plane. My tears are quiet just falling down my face. I’m in first class. I’m heartbroken and alone. I ask the stewardess for tissues and a bottle of water.