All the Sad Little Things

Chapter 16: The Other Woman

Present

Life around the apartment had become awkward to say the least. Ever since the movie night with Mike, Lilly had been giving me the silent treatment. I had sincerely apologized to Lilly several times in the days that followed that night, but she wanted nothing of my apology. Kelly had tried to be the bridge between Lilly and I, trying to bring us all back together but even she at times was swayed to a side. This made things that much more uncomfortable. We were all tiptoeing around one another. Lilly spent almost everyday and night with Dylan now. She would only come back to the apartment to do some work in her room or get clothes to change and then she would leave. Kelly had also been going out a lot more too. Most nights when I returned from work Kelly was preparing herself for a night out with Jordan or her old friends from class. The first few times they went out I had been extended a pity invite by Kelly, but after a while she just stopped asking. It really didn’t bother me at all. I was happy for Kelly and that she had finally found someone she enjoyed spending time with outside of our little circle. Plus, I didn’t want to make things weird by being the third wheel. I found myself doing the same thing I usually did everyday which was waking up, going to work, coming home, maybe having dinner, and going to bed early most nights. I was content with my situation for now but I knew it wasn’t going to last and I would have to make some serious decisions soon. Summer would be coming to an end not too long from now and the girls would be leaving. I couldn’t afford this apartment on my own with the money I made at The Flower Den. Maybe I could find some new roommates? I didn’t know if that was something I really wanted to undertake considering how things were right now. I could try and apply for teaching jobs in the area but I didn’t know if this was where I wanted to root myself. A teaching job would certainly give me the means to rent the apartment on my own. I began to regret my decision of turning down the teaching job at my former high school. My parents had agreed to me staying back in my old room while I found a place of my own. I had it made with that job offer but I threw it away because I was scared and ashamed.

I sat on the couch scrolling online for job offers in the area hoping something would be a good fit. I couldn’t find anything remotely close to what I was looking for, so I decided to update my resume. When I finished that, I searched for cheaper apartment options. I loved this apartment but the more I thought about the girls leaving the more I didn’t want to stay here without them. It would be too lonely, even with new roommates. It honestly already felt lonely with Lilly not talking to me and Kelly being gone a lot more. I began to get really tired and decided to close the laptop up for the night and head to bed. As I turned out the lights in the house I heard a bark come from right outside the kitchen window. I flicked the last light switch off and walked over to the window and pulled back the blinds slightly. Outside the kitchen window I could see Chester, Mike’s dog running around the courtyard chasing a tennis ball. I remembered how Mike had told me he likes to take Chester out at night to let him run around. The two of them were adorable. I stood there for several minutes just watching them play together. Mike would raise his arm above his head to throw the ball and the muscles in his arms would flex and his shirt would lift above his waist just enough so you could see the beginning of his deep v. It was dangerous how much I wanted him, how I craved to hold his body against mine. I could feel that deep burn in the pit of my stomach again and the intense pulsing and humming of my body needing his. I barely knew Mike but the desire to be near him was maddening. When I wasn’t thinking of how to repair my friendship with Lilly, thoughts of Mike consumed my mind. Everyone around me was either leaving me or had left me and Mike was the only person who had seemed to want to be near me. So, why was I pushing him away? Why was I so eager to repair a relationship with Lilly when she had no desire to do the same? We were adult women. I could respect Lilly’s wishes and still have some kind of relationship with Mike. Plus, Lilly would be gone soon. I made up my mind that Lilly had no control over who I chose to spend my time with. Mike had only ever been kind and compassionate towards me and I had pushed him away because that’s what Lilly wanted. I was done doing what Lilly wanted me to do! I wanted to be close to him. I let the blind fall from my hand and I quickly found my shoes in the dark. I was going to go out and talk to him! I wanted to give this a chance if he still wanted that too. I hurried out the door and down the walkway to where I had seen Mike playing with Chester but when I got there they were nowhere in sight. It didn’t matter though because I could just go over to his place and ask to speak with him. I had to do this before I lost my nerve. I climbed the steps of his porch and just as I went to knock on the door it opened to my surprise.

“Emma?” Mike said looking just as surprised as I was. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes! Everything is perfectly fine.” I tried reassuring him but he still looked concerned. “You just startled me, opening the door before I could even knock, is all.” We both chuckled awkwardly.

“Yeah, I saw you from the window walking towards my place. You looked like you were in a hurry and I was worried something was wrong.” Mike’s face flushed a little as he raised his hand behind his head and rubbed the back of his neck. It was so hard not to watch the way his body moved when he spoke. He made everything he did look like he was modeling for the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine.

“No! I’m fine, really.” I could feel myself fumbling over my own words. “I just wanted to see how you were. We haven’t talked for a while.” My body began to shake, I was so incredibly nervous. How was I going to tell him that I wanted to give “us” a shot? Mike reached out and rubbed my shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You’re shaking Emma.” he said growing more and more concerned for me. “Are you cold? You can come in if you are.” He motioned me to come into his apartment. I began to walk forward as if to go in but then I froze remembering that Zander and Lincoln might be home. I didn’t want to do this in front of them.

“Actually, do you mind if we talk out here? I’m okay, really.” I said as I stepped back towards the steps. Mike came out of his apartment and joined me on the porch. His height never ceased to amaze me. As he stepped closer to me I had to tilt my head back even further to look up at him. His gaze burrowed a hole straight down through me and into my very soul. I could tell he was still concerned by the way he was looking at me.

“So, how have you been?” Mike asked, sounding a bit sad.

“I’ve been better.” Mike looked at me even more worried now than before. “Everything is ok! It’s just that Lilly won’t talk to me and I hardly see Kelly anymore.” I knew Mike felt bad by the way he hung his head when I mentioned Lilly.

“I’m so sorry Emma.” Mike said with absolute sincerity.

“Please don’t be sorry!” I begged him. “That’s kind of why I actually came over to talk with you.” I took a deep breath, straightened myself up, and looked Mike right in the eyes. “I feel terrible about what happened that night with Lilly and I want to apologize. I never should have let her treat you like that, and I’m very sorry.” Mike gave me a soft smile as if to accept my apology. His smile pulled me in and I took a step closer towards him, practically standing right underneath him. “If you would still like, I would love to join you for that dinner you offered me a few weeks ago.” For the briefest moment, the smile on Mike’s face stretched across the entirety of his dimpled cheeks.

“Hey handsome!” I heard come from behind Mike as I watched a long skinny arm with bright pink nails wrap around his torso. The smile on Mike’s face vanished and a look of guilt took its place. I quickly took a few steps back and watched as a tall, gorgeous blonde girl slithered her way like a snake around to the front of Mike, keeping her arms wrapped around him tightly. “I was getting lonely in there without you and came to see what was taking you so long.” she whined to Mike, begging for his attention. The girl looked me up and down and asked, “Who is this?”

“This is Emma, Sammy.” Mike cleared his throat and pulled away slightly from Sammy’s grip. She clearly didn’t like that though and hastily snatched him back up in her arms. “Sammy has been a good friend of us guys for a few years now. We met her when we all started college together. Sammy definitely didn’t like being called a “friend” and her hold on Mike got tighter.

“How do you know Emily?” Sammy said with both disgust and curiosity. It was obvious now that I had interrupted something between Sammy and Mike and she was pissed. Had she called me Emily on purpose or did she really just forget my name that fast?

“It’s Emma and we’re just neighbors.” I looked up at Mike and I could tell it bothered him the way I had emphasized “just neighbors” to Sammy. Sammy smiled and looked relieved to know this bit of information. I was no longer a threat to her.

“Oh! That’s nice.” She didn’t mean that. I watched Sammy place her hands gently all over Mike’s body as if to claim every part of him, marking her territory. “You are super cute! I wonder why the boys didn’t tell me about their cute little neighbor girl.” Sammy squeezed Mike a little harder and shot daggers through him with her eyes. “The guys are great, right? Couldn’t ask for a better group of men to be your next door neighbors. Am I right Emma?” I wasn’t so sure I could agree with her on the first part of that statement but at least she got my name right this time. “The guys are throwing a party this weekend. You should totally come!” Mike looked horrified when Sammy mentioned the party.

“We hadn’t decided on that yet Sammy.” Mike said giving her a little nudge. It was obvious Mike was feeling uncomfortable and frustrated so, I took that as my cue to make my exit.

“Thanks for the invite but I work super early and it’s hard for me to stay out late.” I smiled politely at the two of them together on the porch and then turned to walk down the stares. I suddenly felt a hand catch me by the wrist and I turned back around to see Mike holding on to me.

“The party will be on Saturday night. You don’t have to work Sunday’s right?” I looked at Mike and nodded. “Please come.” he said sounding as though he absolutely needed me there. I didn’t understand why it was so important to him but I agreed to go. Maybe he felt sorry for me. Sammy looked less than thrilled that I had agreed to go to the party but quickly hid her displeasure with a fake smile.

“Yay!” Sammy said as she reclaimed her spot by Mike, forcing his hand around her waist. “It’s going to be totally casual, so come comfortable.”

“Thanks.” I said. I turned and made my way down the steps and back to my apartment. Once I locked my self in, the tears began to flow. I felt so embarrassed and so incredibly stupid. How could I have let myself become so vulnerable and naive again? I slumped to the floor in the kitchen and sat in the dark for hours. When I finally had no more tears to cry, I peeled myself up from off the floor and made my way back to my room. I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed naked, not even caring enough to look for pajamas. I laid there staring at the ceiling and watched the fan spin round and round. With every turn of the blade I drifted further and further into sleep.