All the Sad Little Things

Chapter 10: Good Boy

Present

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” His voice like a beam of light pierced the darkness that had taken hold of my soul and the warmth of his embrace felt so safe and reassuring. I’m not sure how long he held me like that but I could have stayed there forever. He slowly released his arms from around my shoulders and helped me to my feet. “Are you alright Emma?” Mike asked softly. I could hear the concern in his voice.

“Yes. I am fine. Thank you.” I was incredibly embarrassed that he had seen me like that. Mike bent down and grabbed my purse off the ground and handed it to me. “Thank you again.” I said. “I’m so sorry you had to see that. I feel really stupid right now.” He gave me a warm smile.

“No worries. I get them too sometimes.” I was a little confused by what he said and asked,

“What do you get?” Mike let out a little belly laugh and said,

“Panic attacks. I get panic attacks sometimes too.” I felt so dumb for asking him that question. My brain felt like complete mush. Here Mike was trying to help me by relating to my situation and all I could manage was a stupid, awkward question. Just then I was startled by a cold wet sensation on my hand. I looked down and there at my feet staring up at me was the funniest little dog. A small Beagle nudged my hand with his nose as if he was asking for pets. I leaned down not being able to resist that face and proceeded to give it some ear rubs. “That’s why I got him.” Mike pointed at the dog. “He helped me with my panic attacks. His name is Chester by the way.”

“Hey Chester! You’re a good boy.” I said as I continued to pet him. Mike pulled a leash from his back pocket and attached it to Chester’s collar.

“I like to bring him out at night and let him run around for a bit after being kenneled all day while I’m at work.” Mike said, giving Chester a firm pat on his rump. “I feel bad leaving him in there so long but I don’t quite trust him in the new apartment yet. He totally trashed the last place.”

“Kelly is going to lose her mind when she finds out you have Chester.” I said as I stood back up. “She absolutely loves dogs.” I almost forgot how tall Mike was as I stood there looking up at him. I thought about the way his whole body enveloped me as he held me on the ground just moments ago. I traced the outline of his body with my eyes and noticed how his shirt sleeve hugged his bicep tightly. Our eyes locked and I realized I had been staring. Even in the dark you could tell both of our cheeks flushed and we redirected our gaze. Mike cleared his throat and asked,

“Would you like to come sit over on the porch for a bit?” I looked back at my apartment door and wondered how long Zander was going to be in there with Lilly. I didn’t feel like crossing paths with him tonight or ever again for that matter. Maybe I could sit with Mike for a bit while I waited for Zander to leave or at least until Kelly came back from the party that way I wouldn’t have to go in there on my own.

“Sure! That actually sounds nice.” I thanked Mike for letting me come sit down for a while and again for helping me earlier. We sat there on his porch and made small talk for almost an hour when I suddenly remembered something. “Oh my God! I almost forgot.” I exclaimed. “Thank you for the flowers, sir.” Mike’s eyes grew wide and his cheeks flushed again. A slight smile stretched across his face and a hearty chuckle escaped his lips.

“You are very welcome ma’am.” We both laughed and then he asked, “So, what did you think?”

“About the flowers? Well, I took a picture of the arrangement I made. Here, I’ll show you.” I pulled my phone from my purse and found the picture of the flowers. As I went to show him, I noticed he was chuckling under his breath and shaking his head. “What? Are they that bad?”

“No! They are very pretty! They are more than pretty. They are very beautiful.” Mike sounded nervous and fiddled with Chester’s leash. “I meant, what do you think about going out to dinner with me?”

“Oh! Dinner!” I was so embarrassed. With everything that had happened the last couple days I had completely forgot about Mike asking me out to dinner with him. I wanted to say yes so badly but then I remembered how he had f***ed up Dylan at the bar and how Lilly told me to keep him away. I was incredibly torn. Despite the s**t Lilly had just pulled, I felt a sense of loyalty to her. Would me going out with Mike fuel her anger or worse, would she be hurt by my betrayal? Personally, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to start dating yet. As of a few months ago I had finally come into my own and was learning who I was outside of being in a relationship. Did I really want to jump back into something so serious? I looked over at Mike who was staring back at me anxiously.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to.” he said with a slight shake to his voice. “I will completely respect your decision.” God! He seemed so incredibly sweet and he had been so kind to me. I didn’t know what to do.

“Mike, I would love to have dinner with you but, I have to be honest with you about something.” I proceeded to tell him everything that had happened after the fight at the bar between Dylan and Zander. Mike sat there and patiently listened and I could tell he knew I was feeling conflicted. “While I would love to accept your offer to take me out to dinner, I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do right now.” A brief look of disappointment crossed Mike’s face and then quickly changed to a half hearted smile when he saw me looking at him. He kept his word and respectfully accepted my answer. He then extended his hand out toward me and said,

“Friends?”

“Friends!” I took his hand and gave it a firm but gentle shake. My hand looked so small in his and for a moment I didn’t want to let go. We sat there for a little while longer and continued to talk and get to know each other. We talked about our families and where we grew up and our jobs. It was nice getting to know Mike. Just then a commotion came from nearby and Chester stood up from where he had been resting and whimpered. Zander appeared out of the dark and shuffled up to the porch where Mike and I sat. When Chester recognized Zander he lunged from his place on the porch and jumped up on him almost knocking Zander to the ground.

“Dammit Chester!” Zander cursed trying to steady himself. That was my cue letting me know that it was time for me to head back over to my place. I stood from the chair preparing myself to leave and Mike stood too, insisting he walk me to my door. “She lives like two steps away bro.” Mike shot Zander a disapproving look and ignored his friend’s comment. We walked back over to my apartment and Mike waited until I opened the door to go inside.

“Thank you Mike. For everything.” I gave him a smile hoping he knew how grateful I was for the kindness he had shown me tonight. With a slight nod he returned the smile and as he turned to walk back home he quietly said,

“Goodnight Emma.” And for a brief moment I wished I could hear him say my name just like that, every night, for as long as I lived.