All the Sad Little Things

Chapter 11: What are Friends For?

Trigger Warning: Themes of Self Harm and s****l Assault

Past

Mom and Dad had let me stay home for a whole week following my visit to the emergency room. After a few days of wearing the portable heart monitor the test results came back inconclusive and the doctor wrote it off as irregular heart palpitations due to stress. My parents were very happy with the results but still insisted that I at least take the rest of the week to relax. Mom had called the school again and made arrangements to pick up my work for the week. Kelly called the next day to check in on me and asked if she could stop by to see me. Mom wasn’t too enthusiastic about visitors, making it very clear I should be resting. After begging her all morning, Mom agreed to let Kelly stop by for a short visit as long as it was just her and no one else. By no one else she had meant Scott. I believe she half blamed him for my condition seeing as how Scott persisted in asking Mrs. Gilmore to change his peer mentor to me. If she only knew he was in fact the reason for all of this mess. I don’t think my Mom had anything to worry about though. I suspected Scott wouldn’t be showing his face around here for a while. He barely came over at all to be honest. After school Kelly stopped by and brought me the sweetest little get well basket.

“So, what did Scott bring you? Is it as adorable as this little guy?” Kelly held up a cute little teddy bear holding a bouquet of flowers and made it do a little dance.

“He hasn’t been here.” I could have cared less if he had. “Mom doesn’t really want him over right now. She wants me to rest.”

“Yeah, I get it I guess. He is your boyfriend though.” Kelly pulled a bag of gummy worms from the basket she brought me and ripped it open and handed me some before helping herself to a few. “It was kind of weird though.” she continued. “He was super torn up at school about you going to the hospital, which he should be of course. But, when we all asked what had happened to you he had no clue.” Kelly looked to me for an explanation and I wasn’t quite sure what I should say. I wanted to tell her so badly but I just couldn’t. What would she think of me if she knew?

“Did he say anything else?” I asked Kelly, curious to see if Scott had let anything slip about prom night.

“He did say something else that I thought was weird but then again maybe not.” Kelly hesitated and looked at me as if she were scared to say what was about to come out of her mouth. “Scott said that you had been acting strange ever since that little breakup you two had.”

“Strange how? Did he say?” I could feel my heart racing. What the hell did he tell everyone?

“He said that you might be having some mental problems. He mentioned that you may be hurting yourself for attention.” Kelly braced herself for my reaction but I just sat there and stared at her blankly. “I made sure to tell everyone that that wasn’t true and that I would know if something like that was happening. Right Emma? I would know if you weren’t okay?” I leaned over and gave her the biggest hug I could.

“Of course you would.” I reassured her. Kelly gave me a smile but behind it I could see she was still questioning me and what Scott had said at school. “I am just exhausted Kelly. You know better than anyone else how stressed we’ve been with our classes, extra curricular activities, and our college prep.” That seemed to register with her and she nodded in agreement.

“It has been f***ing hell hasn’t it?” she said laughing. Her mood changed again suddenly. “I got really scared when I heard them call your name over the intercom at school yesterday. I was worried about you.” We both took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly.

“Thanks for being such an awesome best friend.” I told her giving her hand a squeeze.

“Stop it you b****!” she laughed again. “You’re going to make me cry! And then you’ll cry. And your mom will kick me out for making you cry.” We laughed and laughed until the portable heart monitor started beeping loudly, and then we laughed some more. For a moment, I could pretend that I was happy.

Present

I watched Mike disappear into the night as he turned to walk back home. I had enjoyed our time together, just talking and getting to know one another. I was eager to tell Kelly about the conversation Mike and I had. I went to head to her room to see if she was home from the party yet. I rounded the corner into the living room and found Lilly asleep, still crumpled on the floor at the foot of the television stand she had crashed into earlier. I assumed then that Kelly wasn’t home yet because she would have never left Lilly just lying here. Lilly had never managed to get her pants on seeing as how she was completely wasted. I thought of Zander and how he had just left her here like this. I seriously had to fight the urge to go next door and beat the living sh** out of him. Then an even more terrible thought crossed my mind. What if he had hurt her while she was lying here, passed out on the floor? I shuddered at the thought and immense guilt racked my body. I never should have left her here alone with him. I knelt down beside her and put her head in my lap. I tried to cover her as best I could with the clothing she had scattered around the floor. Every once in a while Lilly would moan or try to say something to me that I couldn’t quite make out. I would give her a gentle hug and whispering softly would reassure her I was there and wasn’t going anywhere until she was ready to get up.

Kelly returned from the party very late and was completely taken back by the scene of Lilly and I on the living room floor.

“God Emma! You should have called me. I would have come back to help you.” Kelly said still in shock by the craziness she had come home to.

“I was going to call but then realized I left my stuff over by the door.” I pointed to my bag lying all the way across the room. “I didn’t want to move and wake her.” The two of us managed to get Lilly to her room and carefully cleaned her up and put some comfy pajamas on her. Kelly grabbed a garbage pale and set it beside the bed while I tried to prop Lilly up on her side. We were too nervous to leave her alone and decided to camp out in her room so we could watch her through the night. Kelly and I talked, making sure to whisper as not to wake Lilly. I told her about what had happened with Lilly and Zander when I got back from dinner earlier and I told her about my conversation with Mike. Kelly smirked and said,

“You really like him, don’t you?” I shrugged my shoulders and let out a long sigh.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now. I mean, look at us.” I said motioning around the room at us three girls in the state we were in.

“Well, maybe not right now but maybe later down the road.” Kelly sounded very optimistic and somewhat hopeful despite our current situation. “He is super hot.” she said mischievously, giving me a goofy grin. I returned the smile and nodded in agreement. We both snickered quietly and continued our watch over Lilly for the remainder of the night and into the next day.