All the Sad Little Things

Chapter 7: Self Pity PJ Party

Present

I startled awake covered in a cold sweat. I must have been having a nightmare again. I had a lot of those recently. It was either nights of little to no sleep or paralyzing nightmares. It didn’t seem fair that memories of Scott not only occupied my mind during the day but also my dreams at night. I stood from my bed and made my way out of my room and down the hall to the kitchen. I could hear voices from Lilly’s room again. Maybe Zander had come over again last night. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured myself a cold glass of water. My doctor had given me Trazodone to help on nights like this when I struggled to stay asleep but after what happened a few months ago, I was too scared to take anything. Looking up at the clock I observed that it was almost two o’clock in the morning. The voices from Lilly’s room began to get louder. Zander hadn’t been the one to come over last night. I recognized Dylan’s voice and could tell he and Lilly were having a heated argument. I’m guessing Dylan must have found out about Zander. They continued to argue for a few more minutes before Dylan came bursting out of Lilly’s room and made his way through the living area and into the kitchen where I was standing. I flipped the light on making my presence known to him so as not to startle him in the dark.

“Oh God! Jeez Emma!” I had still caught him by surprise despite my effort not to. “I’m sorry if we woke you and Kelly.” he continued. Even in the dark I could tell Dylan’s face was black and blue. This was bad.

“You guys okay?” I asked. Lilly walked into the kitchen, black eyeliner streaking down her cheeks. She stood there in only a tank top and underwear with her arms folded across her chest.

“Please come back to bed Dylan.” Lilly said, reaching out with one hand in hopes that Dylan would take it. He did not.

“Not tonight.” he said in a sad voice and walked out of the apartment. Lilly glanced over at me, rolled her eyes and said,

“He’ll be back.” She let out a little nervous chuckle and then joined me over by the counter. I grabbed another glass from the cupboard and poured Lilly a glass of water. She chugged it quickly and tapped the glass, signaling that she wanted some more. After her second glass we stood there in silence for a minute. All the sudden Lilly slammed her fist down on the counter, shaking the entire apartment and tears began flowing from her eyes. I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could and just held her as she cried. I heard Kelly’s bedroom door open and moments later she too appeared in the kitchen. She stared at me looking a bit perplexed, trying to take in what was happening. With one hand still wrapped tightly around Lilly’s shoulders, I reached out with my other hand, encouraging Kelly to join in on the hug. The three of us stood there in the kitchen embracing each other, bawling our eyes out for God knows how long.

We woke up that morning all huddled together in Kelly’s bed. She and I had insisted on keeping Lilly company through the night so we could be there for her if she needed us. After we had somewhat settled down from our group crying session in the kitchen earlier this morning we decided snacks, a movie, and a sleepover were just what the doctor ordered. So, we all climbed into Kelly’s bed and binged on junk food while we watched ‘Mama Mia’. Eventually all three of us had fallen asleep. When Lilly finally woke up she began to tell us what had happened between her and Dylan.

After I had gone to my room last night, Dylan had come over to pick up Lilly. They decided to head downtown to the bar and grab a few drinks together. They were having a good time and both a little drunk when Zander, Lincoln, and Mike showed up at the same bar. Lilly said Zander must have already been drinking because he was absolutely wasted when he spotted Lilly. I remembered that I had seen the guys drinking out on their porch when I got home last night. Lilly went on to tell Kelly and I that Zander got a little handsy even though Dylan was clearly with her. Zander went into explicit detail, recalling the previous night with Lilly and that’s when Dylan went into a blind rage and started swinging punches. I guess Dylan had really did a number on Zander’s face before he was pulled off by Lincoln and Mike. Still caught up in his rage Dylan took a swing at Mike. With one punch, Mike ended up putting Dylan flat on his back in front of Lilly and the whole bar. Embarrassed and ashamed, Dylan left the bar with Lilly chasing after him. Once they got back to the apartment that’s when the fighting and arguing started.

“I don’t know why I’m like this.” Lilly said through her tears. “I was mad that Dylan had ditched me the other night when we played Rock Band. He went to hang out with his friends and that one bi*** I really hate.” Lilly had told us previously about this one girl who spent a lot of time around Dylan. Dylan insisted that she was just a friend but Lilly said she could tell this other girl wanted more than just friendship. “I guess I just got really jealous and that’s why I slept with Zander. I never thought about the fact that Dylan might find out.” Lilly began to sob uncontrollably. “I really like Dylan but I guess I really f***ed this one up.”

“Oh! Don’t say that Lilly!” Kelly begged. “Maybe you two can work this out.” Lilly rolled her eyes and said,

“Yeah. I doubt that.” We all sat in the quiet for a couple minutes just trying to process this whole crazy morning.

I got up from the bed and stretched.

“Sorry ladies. I have to go and get ready for work.” I gave Lilly a hug and then Kelly. “Maybe the three of us could go to dinner tonight when I get back from work?” They both smiled and nodded in agreement. Just as I was ready to walk out of Kelly’s room, Lilly called out to me.

“Oh Emma! Keep your new boyfriend away from here.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I assured her. How on earth was I ever going to fix this mess?