All the Sad Little Things

Chapter 3: To Each His Own

Trigger Warning: Themes of Physical, Mental, and s****l Abuse

Past

I completely ignored Scott the next few days after he had hit me in his car. I told my family, Kelly, and everyone else who asked that Scott and I had broken up. No explanation, just that we were over and that it was mutual. The bruising on my cheek and forehead was easy enough to cover with foundation as long as I applied a generous amount. Everyone was so shocked at school. We had been the couple that other couples looked up to. “If you two didn’t make it then there is no hope for the rest of us.” Kelly said as she talked to me from across the lunch table. “You two were supposed to be end game. What happened?”

“We are just growing apart I guess.” I said, trying not to lie too much. I hated that I was keeping this from Kelly. I knew it wasn’t right what Scott had done to me but I really did love him and the last thing I wanted was to get him in trouble. If my father knew what Scott had done that night he very well may have ended up dead.

“Speak of the devil.” Kelly nodded behind me and I turned to see Scott solemnly walking towards me. I turned back around quickly and shook my head as if to tell Kelly to get rid of him. She stood up and cut him off and told him to leave me alone. From behind me I could hear him whimpering and begging to just have a moment with me so we could talk. “I don’t think that is such a good idea right now Scott. Emma is really upset and she doesn’t want to talk to you right now.” Kelly continued to keep him at bay, giving me the chance to slip out of the cafeteria and to my next class before he could catch up to me. The rest of the week my phone buzzed and rang nonstop when it was turned on. Scott left me message after message and called until the sun went down each night. I would arrive at school with notes shoved into my locker and messages left on my desks. I ignored them all. There was absolutely no way I could forgive what he had done. Or so I thought.

With everything that had happened, I had completely forgotten about prom. Scott and I had purchased our tickets months ago and I had already been fitted for my gown. I had also been voted as a member of the prom court and was to be escorted by Scott during the grand march. As I stepped off the school bus, I could see my mom standing in the doorway of our house, watching and waiting for me. Before I could make it up to the top of our driveway my mom came out of the house and gave me an awkward hug. “Hey honey!” she said with the fakest smile I’ve ever seen. “Your dad wants to talk to you out on the back deck.” I could feel my mother pulling me gently and directing me towards the side gate.

“What’s going on?” I asked nervously. “You are acting weird.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My mom and dad found out what happened. They knew Scott had struck me and my dad wanted to confirm it before he went and killed Scott. I began to panic on the inside and could feel my body resisting my mom’s pull. Her grip around my arm got tighter and she began to pull harder.

“What’s the matter with you?” she said. “Your dad just wants to talk with you. Something definitely didn’t feel right. I wiggled to free myself from my mom’s embrace and looked up towards the deck expecting my father to be standing up there, looking down on me in disappointment. But he wasn’t there. Instead I heard the faint sound of music coming from the backyard and noticed a trail of candles from the side gate, wrapping around the back of the house. The music playing wasn’t just any music. It was my favorite song. It was our song. As I came around the back end of the house I could see Scott and his band, and a sign that said “I’m sorry Emma. I’m an i***t. Please go to prom with me.” I stood there in utter disbelief. When the song was finished Scott walked up to me and reached out for my hand. I took a step back and could feel the tears beginning to form in the corner of my eyes. My dad must have been watching from somewhere inside the house and sensed something wasn’t quite right. He came out of nowhere and approached Scott and I. He looked into my eyes and then looked over at Scott and said, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” My dad motioned for my mom to come over and we all just stood there awkwardly in the backyard for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Scott broke the silence.

“I don’t want to fight anymore Emma. I just want you to know how sorry I am and I will do everything in my power to fix this. You don’t have to forgive me or go to prom with me. Just know how sorry I am for upsetting you.” He was good, I’ll give him that. Scott was a notorious smooth talker and could charm the pants off of anyone. Then the water works started. He did this thing where he could let one singular tear fall from his eye to give the appearance of feeling genuine emotion. Well, it definitely worked because he hooked my mom with his showmanship. My mom started blubbering and swept up Scott and I both into her arms and squeezed us together.

“Of course she forgives you and she is most definitely going to prom! We didn’t spend all that money for nothing.” Mom shot me the side eye as she loosened her grip on Scott and I but still managed to push us together in a halfhearted embrace. “I don’t know what you two were fighting about but I can assure you it’s not that important and you’ll forget all about it by tomorrow. Emma! What do you say to the poor boy? He just did all of that for you and you aren’t going to say anything!” All I could muster up was a nod and a pathetic excuse for a smile. My mom let out a squeal of joy and Scott picked me up by the waist and spun me around in circles.

The next couple weeks were filled with preparation for prom which meant spending a lot of time with Scott in and out of school. He had made sure to let everyone know we were a couple again even though I had never agreed to that. He continued to play it off as a stupid fight and that we had reconciled. I didn’t remember doing that either. Eventually I just accepted it and let Scott back in. He could tell I was questioning the decision though and constantly reassured me that what had happened would never happen again. I knew his family life wasn’t the greatest and I always tried to take that into consideration. Plus, school and his band. I knew it was a lot and at times could be stressful and demanding. I began to think that just maybe it was an accident. He would never really hurt me. He really did care and he was trying to prove that to me now. Everything really was going to be alright.

Prom began so beautifully. Everything and everyone glittered, making the evening feel magical. I had received the honor of crown bearer which had shocked me immensely. I was well liked but by no means was that popular. After the crowning of the queen I had to stick around for pictures before heading to the after party. This seemed to really bother Scott. I wasn’t sure why he was so bothered but sensing his disapproval, I insisted that he go ahead with the other seniors while we finished up with photos. After the pictures were done, the prom court jumped on the shuttle and headed to the after party. We arrived about an hour after everyone else had and the party was already well underway. I found Scott at a table towards the back of the banquet hall, sitting with some of his close friends and band mates. Before I could sit down next to him I could already smell him. One of them had clearly been able to sneak alcohol past the chaperones. “What do you think you are doing?” I whispered in his ear. “You are going to get us all kicked out.” I shot a look at all of them and they all began to giggle hysterically. I got up to walk away but Scott grabbed after me and caught my dress, tearing a noticeable hole in the chiffon layer. I was horrified and smacked his hand away from my dress. Everyone around us was staring in disbelief.

“What?” he said, trying to make light of the situation. “It’s getting ripped off of her later anyway.” All of his friends began laughing and cat calling. I was so embarrassed and angry. I could feel my face turning red and my heart pounding through my chest. How could he do this to me again? I avoided Scott for the duration of the party. My senior prom and I didn’t even get to dance. Unfortunately, Scott, being my date was also my ride home. I refused to let him drive seeing as how he had been drinking. When we reached my place I got out of the car and refused to return Scott’s keys. There was no way I was going to let him drive home. I told him to come inside and sober up. As I unlocked the front door I remembered that mom and dad had decided to take a drive to the river front casino after they had watched me at the grand march earlier. They must have still been out because the house was completely dark and quiet. I called out to them but no answer came. That’s when I felt the back of my gown being lifted up. Scott’s hands found my thighs and he pulled me into him. I tried to pull away but even drunk, Scott towered almost a whole foot taller than me and was incredibly strong.

“Stop! You’re drunk.” I said trying to pull away again. He wrapped his one hand around my waist as the other pulled at my thong strings. I felt the one side of my thong break against my skin. “I said stop Scott! My parents could walk in any moment.” I could feel his erection digging into my tailbone. With his arm still wrapped around my body he pushed me towards the steps and forced me down to my knees. I was now bent over the steps, cheek pressed into the carpet. I’m not really sure when I quit fighting him but eventually I did. I knew it wouldn’t last long. When he finished and pulled himself from me I slowly lifted myself from the steps and pushed my gown back down. I didn’t even turn to look at him in the dark. I ever so carefully ascended the stairs and locked my bedroom door behind me. With my back pressed to the door I waited and listened for any sign that Scott was still in the house. He must have found his keys because I could hear the familiar sound of his engine starting and then him speeding away. Only moments later I heard my parents enter through the front door. They must have had a good time because they were giggling and flirting with each other the way parents do when they have had a bit of fun and too much wine.

“Emma babydoll! You home? The front door was unlocked.” dad yelled as he walked up the steps.

“Yeah daddy. I’m home. Sorry! I must have forgot.” I could see my dad’s shadow underneath the bottom of my door. He stood there for a few seconds.

“You okay honey? I thought you’d be out still, being it prom and all.” I could hear the concern in his voice.

“I’m not much of a party girl daddy. You know that.” I could tell he was still not convinced because he stood there outside my door until my mother came up and met him at the top of the steps.

“See! I told you she was a good kid. She got home from partying before we did.” My dad sounded so proud when he said that.

“To each his own.” my mom giggled giving my dad a pinch on the rear. “Night sweetheart.” They both laughed and made their way to their bedroom down the hall. When silence finally took over the house, I pulled myself off the door and made my way to my bed. I wrapped myself in my torn gown and cried myself to sleep.