Turmoil: Book Three of The Shadow Goddess series

Chapter Twenty

Days passed without sight nor sound from Zeus or his minions. We upped our training in effort to prepare for whatever he was planning. All of the titans were now helping Atlas train the warriors, making them train harder, faster. I felt bad that it was partially my fault, but also was relieved that maybe, just maybe we could finally get this over with. I was ready to be done. Hera was an accident. I had planned on killing one of the gods that were there yes, but after saving the people of the village I was weak and drained. I didn’t think I had the power left to do so. I was wrong. Now Hera was dead and Zeus would soon go on a rampage, I was sure of it. It was just a matter of when and where.

The people we saved from the village were doing well. I still didn’t like having children on the island. I didn’t feel like it was a place meant for children. This was meant to be a place for warriors. A place to train and fight the gods, not a daycare. But now we had a good number of children and I didn’t have the heart to turn them away. Their village was destroyed, some of them orphaned. Shifters that came with the winged wolf shifter happily took on the orphaned children thankfully. While the other families took homes that were spread around the island. Men who were saved from the village were even joining in the training, determined to get revenge on the gods for what they had done.

Hades and I have been training Cassius the best we could. A vampire god was something we have never encountered. His powers were unlike ours. His speed was incredible, his strength ten times what it was before his change. He healed faster, didn’t need to feed as often. His power of compulsion was now so strong, he could compel a group of up to fifty shifters to do his bidding. He couldn’t be killed by traditional means, and I refused to allow them to try any other ways no matter how many times they asked. I mean how stupid do you have to be to ask me to test how to kill you? No freaking way. They could shove their theories up their ass. Hades and Cassius both should know better than to ask me such a ludicrous question.

Along with all of Cassius heightened powers, he had one special power given to him since he changed. It was unbelievable and amazing. But it was terrifying and strange. The effects were temporary, they only lasted a few days up to a week at maximum. But when Cassius feeds, whoever he feeds from, he borrows their power. He doesn’t steal it; the other person can still use it. But say he feeds from a wolf shifter, then he would be able to shift into a wolf. We don’t know if it works on gods, and Hades refuses to allow us to try. Cassius agrees. He doesn’t want to feed on me and something happen. So, he sticks to those willing to feed him, and I absolutely hate it. Despise it. The thought of him having his mouth on another person, another woman makes my blood boil. But Cassius loves playing with his power, and he don’t see what him feeding on others is doing to me. I was afraid to tell him. I didn’t want to ruin anything for him. Not for my own selfish purposes. So, I stay out of it, walk away whenever he tells me he needs to feed. It’s the only thing I can do.

That’s where he is now. Off somewhere feeding off god only knows who, gaining whatever power to play with this time. Phoenix, Aaron, Ryker and the others have been busy training with the warriors. Hades has been mending ties with his father. While I was left alone, wandering through the island. It was like they never even came here to begin with. We spent very little time together since they got here and I felt like we were all still drifting further and further apart. I didn’t like it. But what could I do? They, we, had war to fight and they were doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing. I guess I could always go train. I needed to gain more endurance with my power. Learn to hold more longer. Call on each individual god’s power as needed or all at once. Then there was my own power to train in. The one that has happened to gain a mind of its own. One that fed and acted off my emotions.

“You are being too hard on yourself.” Lilith murmured; her voice soft.

“No. I don’t think I am.” I said, responding to her out loud, not caring who heard me. “I drain to quickly. Get weak easily when I use my power.”

“That’s only because you use too much at once.” Alethea laughed. “What you’ve been doing don’t take nearly as much as you’ve been using. What you need to do is practice control. Control how much you use, how much you need.”

“How do I know how much I’ll need though?” I asked. “It’s not like any of this came with an instruction manual. I’m swimming in the dark here. I don’t have anyone to help me navigate. Even with Nyx and Hades with me, they don’t know anymore than I do. They are trying, and I am thankful for that, really, I am. But they are just guessing right along side of me.”

“Listen to the goddess within you.” Alethea told me soothingly. “She’s there, you’ve just been blocking her.”

“Wait, wait, wait. I already have you and Lilith poking around in my head. Now you’re telling me there is a third entity in my head now too?’

They both laughed. “She’s always been here. Ever since you unlocked your goddess power.” Lilith mused. “You just can’t hear or speak to her.”

“Well why the hell not?” I demand, dropping to the ground in the middle of an open field. None of this made any damn sense. How is there a third entity in my head and I not know about it? Especially for so damn long. All this time I could have had help, could have been led and taught instead of floundering around like a fish out of water.

“Like I said, you’ve blocked her.” Alethea sighed.

“How do I unblock her? How did I even block her? This don’t make any sense.” I shout gripping my hair in irritation.

“You were in so much pain, and so overwhelmed when it all happened your mind pushed her behind a door and locked it to protect itself. She’s been trying to get to you, to help you. But every time she gets close you seem to reenforce the door.” Lilith informed me calmly.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything before now?”

“You weren’t ready to know. She asked us not to tell you.”

“Not to tell me.” I grumbled, laying back and looking up at the sky. “What a help that’s been.”

“You can unlock the door, let her out.” Lilith told me. “Allow her to help you now, guide you.”

“Was it her that did that to Hera?” I asked, pieces now falling into place.

“Yes, she was able to reach you enough to help you with the goddess.” I could hear the smile in Alethea’s voice.

“Fine. I’ll look for the door and let her out.” I relented. “I didn’t mean to lock her in there anyway. I hate that it happened.” I grimaced at the thought of a piece of me being locked inside myself for so long. How will it feel for that piece of myself to finally be free? Is that what’s been missing for so long? Is that why I’ve been feeling so off? So emotional and off balance?

I shook the thought away and closed my eyes. I had to find this piece of myself. I had to release her. Taking a deep breath, I dove into the deepest recesses of my mind. The well of power within me swelled, welcoming me as it surrounded me and encompassed me in its warm embrace. I smiled, running my fingers through its golden glow as I continued through it. Doors. So many doors were here. But none of them locked. Curious, I opened one. I was instantly met with a memory. The one where I first met Phoenix in the gym. I smiled. Seeing that man for the first time was exciting, intimidating and thrilling all at the same time. I closed the door and continued on. So, all of these doors led to memories. That was interesting to know.

The further I got the darker the doors became. Shadows billowed from the bottom of the doors emanating an ominous aura. Curiosity plagued me, but so did dread. I didn’t want to open the door just as much as I did. I knew I wouldn’t like what lay behind the door, I knew it was something terrible, something I didn’t want to see. But something urged me forward anyway. Wrapping my hand around the silver knob ice filled my veins, dread pooled in my gut and I knew I was going to regret this decision. With trembling hands and unsteady breaths, I opened the door.

Darkness met me at first, nothing was there. Until the room started to shimmer. A scene came into view, a familiar and heart wrenching scene. I tried to scream, to step back and jerk the door shut but I was stuck, I couldn’t move. The great room of the manor came into view. Hades was in the salt circle, I was caught in a trance staring up at him, while his demons were attacking the people around me. I couldn’t watch, I didn’t want to. I squeezed my eyes shut, pulling on the door with all my might. Finally, the door gave way. I fell backwards, the door slamming shut behind me. Nightmares. The shadowed doors were nightmares. My darkest memories. I would never open another one of those doors. Never.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to push the memory of the day Tristian was killed from my mind as I continued forward. Why did it have to be that day? Of all my darkest memories, all my nightmares. Why the day the man I loved was killed? Why bring that back to me? I swallowed the sob that wanted to break from my throat. No. I couldn’t cry right now. I had to find the goddess inside me. I had to free her. It wasn’t right she has been locked up for so long.

As the thought crossed my mind, a door emanating a bright golden light appeared in front of me. A single lock adorned the knob. It didn’t look like much, but I could feel the power inside of it. How did I do that? I didn’t even know I had done it. It’s amazing what a person’s mind could do and you not even know it. It didn’t matter now though. All that mattered now was freeing her. She didn’t deserve the punishment I had bestowed upon her.

“I am so sorry.” I whispered, approaching the door. “I didn’t mean to lock you in there.” I felt tears bloom in my eyes for the goddess entity that should have been speaking to me this entire time, been apart of me this whole time. “I’ll get you out.” I promised. I just had to figure out how I was going to get her out. Could I use my power while I was doing this soul-searching thing? Or was it something simple that I just wasn’t considering?

I tried to call my power to me. It responded quickly, happily. The golden light surrounding my body making me glow in the same golden aura as the door before me. “Please.” I murmured. “Let her out.” My power vibrated around me. Slow and steady at first, then harder and faster, until I felt it in my bones. The power shot out of me in a burst of energy and swirling light, barreling into the lock of the door. When it collided, I was thrown back with such force I was knocked back into my conscious body with a gasp. My hand clutched at my chest as my breaths came in heavy pants, sweat beaded my brow and my heart felt as if it were going to pound out of my chest.

I could feel the difference inside of me. My power felt stronger, my energy and alertness more acute. More aware. The presence of the extra entity in my mind was instantaneous, her aura so bright for a moment it completely blocked everything else out until only she consumed me. It left me wondering again how I could have locked such a powerful entity up in the back of my mind. It seemed impossible. She was. No, she is a creation of all the gods. A creation of the essence of every god born of the titans. How was it possible?

“It was possible because even though you were only able to call on some of the power gifted to you without me, you are still powerful on your own.” Her melodious voice answered my internal battle. “With me locked away only a portion of your power was available to you. So you were only able to practice and control that part of you. That was why calling forth the individual gods powers was so hard and draining on you.” She explained. I was surprised she sounded so calm, so put together. She didn’t sound angry in the least. It had a huge wave of relief washing through me. Along with a wave of fear at this new revelation. Only a portion? Everything I’ve been doing, everything I’ve been working with. It’s only been a portion of my power? Creating my children, my own race. That was done with only a portion?

“How is that possible?” I shook my head in utter shock. “Look at what all I’ve done. What I’ve accomplished. How is it I’ve done this with only a portion?”

“As I told you.” She chortled. “Even without me, you are powerful. You are a creation made of all gods. You were meant to kill gods. Create and destroy worlds. Your existence places you above all others. None can compare to you.”

None can compare. That’s what she said. I knew I was powerful. Knew I was different and was meant to kill Zeus. But never did I know I was supposed to be as powerful as this. I didn’t want to be. It was too much. No one person should hold such power. No one person should be allowed to control what I’ve been given responsibility over. To me it seemed like it would throw the balance of the world out of whack.

“Don’t worry child. The universe knew of your coming.” The new entity tittered. “Now, my name is Ariella. My purpose is to guide and teach you along your journey, just as Lilith and Alethea have been doing.”

“I’m sorry I locked you away.” I ducked my head in shame. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know you were there.”

“Do not fret child.” Ariella’s voice was soft and soothing. “All is well. War is brewing, Zeus is readying for an attack. I feel his power growing. It is time I teach you and help you grow. There is much for you to yet learn.” I sat up straight at her words and squared my shoulders. She was right. And I was ready.