WIDOWS' FATE

EPISODE 3: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN

Lights come up slowly from behind, following the footsteps of Lawyer Kunle as he walks hurriedly across the stage. He appears worried and restless. He occasionally looks back as though his mind is still at Chief Ayinla’s house.

L. Kunle:

(walking and talking to himself)

Ah! Wetin I don enter myself into like this? Chief Ayinla don die, two wives dey fight, another woman don appear from nowhere with pregnancy, inheritance matter don enter inside… and now everybody dey look my face like say na me kill Chief!

He stops, wipes the sweat from his forehead and sighs deeply.

L. Kunle:

I warned this man to make a will. I warned am! But no, “Kunle, there is still time.” See where “there is still time” don carry us reach now.

He continues walking. Suddenly, he stops as if he remembers something.

L. Kunle:

Wait! Investor Lam!

He points in the direction of the palm-wine bar.

L. Kunle:

Na him! Na Investor Lam first bring this crazy idea come. If anybody fit explain how this whole matter start, na him.

He quickly adjusts his clothes and heads towards the bar.

L. Kunle:

I must find that man before this matter swallow everybody!

As Lawyer Kunle exits toward the palm-wine bar, the lights gradually shift. The sound of lively palm-wine-bar music rises.

SONG 3

Emu emu emu lolaye eh

Emu emu emu lonile ejeka memu

Temu ba dagbari tan shey loju a da shaka

Temu ba dekun tan oh, ki lan pa lounje

Emu atata emu tokoro fere

Toba ti de kun tan oh, wa gbagbe iya ara re

The lights now shine completely on Afusa’s palm-wine bar. Investor Lam is comfortably seated, drinking and enjoying himself. Afusa is attending to him. The atmosphere is lively and carefree, completely opposite to the trouble Lawyer Kunle has just left behind.

Afusa:

Investor! Investor!!

Investor Lam:

Yes, that’s me!

Afusa:

My investor! Oloowo oti! Oko obinrin worldwide! Okunrin lanti-lanti!

Investor Lam:

Ye ye ye ye! Okunrin lon kesi! YES, that’s me! You don get the keys to my heart again, my head don burst oh! Come on, give me one more bottle, let me—

L. Kunle:

(suddenly appears)

Givenchy ni!

I. Lam:

(surprised to see him)

Oh, my friend! How are you doing? Have a seat. Let them serve you dr—

L. Kunle:

(cuts in)

Serve ko reservoir ni! Ogbeni, there’s fire on the mountain oh!

I. Lam:

Aha ah ha!

(laughs and adjusts his seat)

Fire wey dey on mountain na Mountain of Fire na! It’s not my church, na your church ni? Talk na! Abi which one be fire on the mountain again, bai?

L. Kunle:

Oga, no be church matter I dey talk about for here at all oh! No be Mountain of Fire oh—

I. Lam:

Oda mountain kiini?

L. Kunle:

Mountain Kilimanjaro ni! Oga, stand up. Let’s talk jare!

Kunle grabs Investor Lam and pulls him up from his chair. Lam quickly protects his bottle of palm wine from spilling.

I. Lam:

Mr. man! If little of this palm drop, na you go pay oh!

Afusa:

(cuts in)

OPay ni! Or better still, you say PalmPay! Shey Lawyer Kunle wey stingy to himself go come pay for your palm wine?

She laughs.

Afusa:

Eh eh, okay oh, dey play. You go sha pay me before you comot for here!

L. Kunle:

Afusa! Afusa!! Afusa!!!

Afusa:

Biko, wetin apun ma pemi pa?

L. Kunle:

Afusa, na me you dey yab like this, ehn? You know say you dey owe me ₦50 change since last three weeks. Who did I tell, oh?

Afusa:

(laughs loudly)

Eeeh eh! See me see wahala oh! You for carry speaker go tell everybody na! Or why don’t you go to Radio Nigeria? Can’t you report me to the nearest police station say I owe you fifty naira?

She laughs again.

Afusa:

Eh eh! Ontop money wey person give you oh!

L. Kunle:

Ehn? Shey na you the person give? Na you?

Afusa:

This man is so shameless! God bless the man wherever he is right now. Person wey buy you palm wine come give you ₦5,000 to pay, say make you give me ₦1,000, then ₦3,950 for palm wine and meat, you kon still dey claim say na you get the money?

She shakes her head.

Afusa:

Hmm! Wonders shall never end oh! Shey make I give you transport fare to go report me?

I. Lam:

Give him. He needs it.

L. Kunle:

Aha! Una don dey belittle me for here oh!

Afusa:

Na you open ground for talk oh!

L. Kunle:

Oya, no vex, okay? I no need the money again.

Afusa:

Ohoor! Shiooor! O jebi!

She hisses.

Afusa:

Why you no come with Chief today sef?

Kunle suddenly becomes serious.

L. Kunle:

Hmm…

He looks at Investor Lam.

L. Kunle:

Na wetin carry me come here be this, Investor.

I. Lam:

Your change or the money wey the person give you?

L. Kunle:

Na the person, ooh.

I. Lam:

Ehn! Leave my cloth alone na! You just come here come spoil person’s fun. Wetin do the person?

L. Kunle:

Please, don’t let us shout. Let’s discuss outside.

Kunle grabs Investor Lam by his clothes and begins dragging him away from the bar.

Afusa:

Investor!

I. Lam:

Afusa!

Afusa:

Investor!!

I. Lam:

Afusa, I’m coming!

Afusa:

Investor, no let your matter worse like Lawyer Kunle oh! I even wonder how he became a Lawyer!

L. Kunle:

(still dragging Investor Lam)

It’s all because I’m educated! I succeeded in all my exams—

Afusa:

Mule! O le ri mu ju le! O le ri sha file! Ileshe mule, o ma ni jona oh!

She starts whining and mocking Lawyer Kunle.

Afusa:

You no see say they write mumu for my forehead abi? You no see say I get tribal mark? Who go waste money send you go school?

She bursts into laughter.

L. Kunle:

(suddenly pauses and turns)

What did you just say?

Afusa:

Water and gaari ni eh! Eeh eh eh! E koribu lo jare!

She laughs even louder.

Lawyer Kunle and Investor Lam finally leave the stage.

Afusa watches them disappear, then suddenly becomes worried.

Afusa:

God no go let my mouth kill me! Ahaa ah! Afusa oh! Make I beg him oh, make he no go carry my matter go court las las!

She laughs nervously.

Afusa:

Afusa, you are a bad girl!

She quickly returns to attending to the customers as more customers enter the palm-wine bar.

(The lights slowly fade)