Breaking The Cycle

Chapter 20

Sarah's POV

*6 Years Prior*

    Today has been simply amazing, there is no other way to describe it. I am finally married to Mark and today starts the rest of forever for us. The last few months of our relationship have been pretty rough and Mark hasn't really been himself, but I'm not worried. Between the stress of losing his job and the wedding and meeting my family all in a couple months time, I understand why he has seemed different. It'll all get better now though, I have faith in that. I have a really great job and we will be moving a few hours from my family, so we don't have to worry about them barging into our lives and now that the wedding is over, there is nothing left to stress about.

    Sitting in the passenger seat as Mark drives us to our honeymoon destination, a little hotel on the beach that my mom covered for us, I think about all the wonderful things our future holds. All the laughs we will share, all the tears we will hold each other through, hopefully a sweet little baby or 2 at some point, and growing old together in love. A smile spreads across my face as I imagine it all and I turn to look at Mark only to see him glaring at me as his eyes dart between me and the road. 

    "What are you over there smiling about? Your boyfriend?" he throws out at me. He is a very jealous man and I've always known this about him, but lately he has been a little bit more than usual and this isn't the first time he has accused me of having another man.

    "Mark, honey, I've told you a million times that you are the only man for me. I promise. I am 100% yours and that will never change." I smile at him and reach over placing my hand on his thigh. "I was just thinking about our future together and all the great things we have in store for us."

    "You're a big dreamer, aren't ya?" he scoffs. "Well you're in for a rude awakening sweetheart. Being so naive won't get you far." he rolls his eyes, focusing all his attention on the road. His words sting a little, but I don't let it damped my mood. It's our honeymoon for goodness sake and I'm gonna enjoy every minute!

    After an hour or so, we pull into the hotel and Mark sends me inside to check us in and get our room keys. Once I have us all set we both head inside to the room and start to settle in for the night. Laying my suitcase on the small couch in the room, I walk over to the balcony doors and open them to a gorgeous view of the ocean. The moon shines a bright reflection off the calm waters below and a soft sea breeze come through, blowing my hair slightly to the side. I take a deep breath, taking in my surroundings and enjoy the smell of the salty air, when Mark's hands grab a hold of my hips, turning my around to face him.

    "It's our honeymoon, so why don't we consummate this marriage?" he roughly pulls me into him and walks me to the room, laying me on the bed. "I'm pretty tired, so let's make this quick." he starts to take his close off, but I sit up and place my hands on his, stopping his movement.

    "Honey, tonight is supposed to be special; I don't want to rush it. If you're tired then maybe we should wait till tomorrow so that we can enjoy each moment with each other." I smile at him as I move my hands to run down the length of his arms. He quickly jerks his arms away from me and wraps his hands around my wrists pushing me onto the bed. "Mark! Ow! You're hurting me!" I cry out softly as I try to wiggle away from him.

    "When I say I want s*x, you give it to me! Do you understand me b***h?" he growls, his face now only inches form mine. Before I can answer him, I feel his leg move up in a swift motion, his knee coming into contact with my inner thigh, just barely missing my v****a. "I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!" his voice louder this time.

    "Y..y..yes.." I manage to get out as I bite my tongue trying to hold back from screaming in pain. "I understand.."

    "Good! Now take your clothes off and lay down so I can be satisfied." he lets me go and stands back up removing his clothes. His eyes never leave me as I slowly take my clothes off and crawl back onto the bed. s*x with him has always been rough, but never like this. For the first time ever, I am truly scared of Mark. As soon as his boxers hit the floor, he moves up on the bed and his body hovers over mine before he shoves his erect p***s into my opening. There is no passion and or even a warning of his actions, just rough and painful s*x. As quick as it all started, it ends and he rips himself from me and gets up from the bed and goes to the bathroom, leaving me alone. I lay here completely still for a couple minutes, listening to the shower run and let the pain between my legs ease up before I try and move at all. As soon as I hear the water cut off, I pull myself from the bed and go to my suitcase, pulling out some clean clothes for bed and wait for Mark to come out. Finally he walks from the bathroom giving me a look of disgust as he walks by, eyeing my naked body.

    "I hope you plan on cleaning your nasty ass up before you get in the bed with me." his voice full of anger and he lays back on the bed, glaring at me. I don't reply and instead just walk into the bathroom and start the shower, stepping in and letting the steamy water run over my sore body. I grab one of the small hotel soaps and lather up a wash cloth, slowly running it over my body, making sure to clean every inch thoroughly. Without rinsing, I grab the small bottle of shampoo and conditioner in my hands and begin to wash my hair, turning then to the shower head to rinse my hair and body off. I cut the water and pull back the curtain, grabbing a towel and begin to dry myself off. As I move the towel over my body, I notice a large bruise forming on my thigh form where Mark's knee hit me and my wrist have faint bruises forming from where he grabbed me. I ignore what I see and finish drying off. Just as I turn to hang my towel on the hook, the bathroom door swings open and an enraged Mark storms. He grabs a hold of my hair and yanks me to him, getting my face as close to his as possible.

    "Next time I speak to you, I expect a reply. Never walk out of a room without answering to me first. You're mine now b***h and you will do as I say or else you'll regret it." his spits in my face and throws me to the floor letting go of my hair. My back slams into the toilet and I gasp as it knocks the air out of me. "Now, it's time for you to be punished for walking out a few minutes ago and so help me God, if you make one sound or try and fight me, it will just be worse for you." the corners of his mouth pull up into an evil smirk as he reaches down and slaps me across my face, my ears ringing from the impact. I stay still unsure of how to react. Mark has never been violent like this before and I don't know what happened. Still trying to catch my breath from his first hit, he proceeds to kick me in my side 4 times before grabbing me back up by my hair.

    "I sure hope you've learned your lesson b***h. The honeymoon is over and I'm done being nice to your disrespectful ass. It's time you learn your place in a man's life." he drags me by my hair back into the room and throws me on the bed, my tears slipping form my eyes down my cheeks, but I keep quiet. "Go to sleep useless and don't even think about touching me." he climbs in the bed beside me and rolls over, his back to me. I turn my back to him and cry quietly so I don't bother him and pray for God's help until I finally fall asleep.

    Morning rolls around and I wake to the sun shinning bright through our open balcony doors and the smell of a hot breakfast filing the room. I turn to see where Mark is, thinking last night was all just a bad dream, but as I turn, a burning pain fills my body. Taking deep breaths as I try to stretch every muscle individually, hoping to release some of the tension, my eyes land on Mark, sitting on the side of the bed watching me. Our eyes meet and he climbs over to me, kissing my lips softly, a completely different man than he was last night. His fingers trail gently over my exposed skin, where I see more bruises forming and he places a kiss on each place where the skin is discolored.

    "Sarah, I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you last night, but I need you to respect me. I love you and I don't like seeing you like this, so please, don't push me again, okay honey?" he smiles at me and I instantly forgive him for everything.

    "It's okay honey. I'm the one that should be sorry. I shouldn't have disrespected you or ignored you and I apologize. I love you." I lean over to where he is sitting beside me and kiss his lips, forgetting everything that happened. I know he loves me and he would never mean to truly hurt me and I understand that. He is a great man and I just need to learn my place.