Charmed by the Unseen

Chapter 3: Visions

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. Napasapo ako sa noo ko habang inaalala ang panaginip ko pero hindi ko na masyadong matandaan ang buong detalye. All I know is I dreamt of a man. Pero hindi ko maalala ang mukha niya at ang mga sinabi niya. What kind of dream was that? Bakit parang totoo? Hanggang ngayon kahit gising na ako nararamdaman ko parin ang presensya niya. Ang weird.

I took a series of deep breaths and turned to my bedside table kung saan naroon ang alarm clock. Alas tres palang ng madaling araw. I got up and went downstairs to the kitchen para uminom ng tubig. I drank a glass of water at nagdesisyong bumalik na sa kwarto ko. Humiga ako pero tuluyan ng nawala ang antok ko. Kinuha ko nalang ang cellphone ko at nag-scroll sa i********: ko.

I smiled upon seeing Freya's story. She was wearing a red tube top and black fitted miniskirt partnered with black peep-toe heels. Her hair was tied in a bun. It was a mirror shot of her kasama ang ilang friends niya. They were holding shot glasses of tequila. Halatang nasa party nga sila. May caption pa sa baba na:

hello b*tches!

I just kept scrolling when suddenly, I recieved a message from Brent. I opened his message that turned out to be a video. It automatically played on my screen.

Muntik ko ng matapon ang phone ko ng makita ang video. It was Brent kissing a damn woman! Na hindi ko naman kilala kung sino. May nagtatawanan at naghihiyawan sa may bandang likuran niya.

Then he sent me another message.

@brentsanchez : Ally, mamatay kana sa inggit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Inis kong pinatay ang cellphone ko. Walanghiyang Brent! Nagawa pa talagang ipakita sa'kin ang kalokohan niya. Binaon ko na lang ang mukha ko sa malambot na unan, hoping na sana makatulog ako ulit kahit basag na ang mood ko.

Pero hindi na ako dinalaw ng antok. So I just decided to study na lang. I grabbed my laptop and my notes para magbasa-basa ng mga important details. Palapit na ang finals kaya pinaghahandaan ko talaga. Sa isang linggo panaman 'yon pero mas mabuti na yung advance para kaunting review nalang ang kailangan. I'm not the procrastinator type. Ayoko na nag ka-cramming ako. It affects the quality of my outputs. Kaya lahat ng major papers ko kahit malayo pa ang deadlines ay natapos ko na lahat. Para incase may kailangan akong e-edit, then I have plenty of time.

I was busy reading an article about counseling ng mapansin ko ang black binder na nasa tapat ng bag ko. Hindi naman nakasulat doon ang mga notes ng course na pinag-aaralan ko kaya hindi ko na 'yon binuksan. Then I remembered the drawing. Dahan-dahan kong nilapag ang laptop ko and grabbed the binder. I opened the notebook and tried to look for the drawing. That same drawing that appeared in my dream. Pero wala akong nakita. I just closed the binder at pinagpatuloy ang pag-aaral ko. Baka nga imagination ko lang 'yon.

Wait, what? I suddenly felt nervous. Am I really imagining? Talaga bang guni-guni ko lang yung drawing na 'yon? Sa isang katulad ko na may history ng schizophrenia, having delusions would be a total nightmare. I swallowed hard. Hindi naman siguro. Baka nagkataon lang. Pero ang hirap i-explain noong nangyari eh. As much as I'm afraid to admit it, 'yon lang ang logical explanation doon. Bumuntong hininga na lang ako. My history of schizophrenia was the reason why I choose psychology. I still have other reasons like I want to help those who suffer under depression, promoting mental health and many more. But my main reason was my own psychological disorder. Magaling na naman ako dahil nag-undergo na ako ng samo't saring theraphy pero is it really posible na bumalik yung sakit ko? I just decided to shake the thought away. Hindi makakatulong sa'kin ang mag-isip ng ganiyan. Iisipin ko nalang na panaginip lang 'yon. Tama! Panaginip lang 'yon.

I woke up at about 10:00 am. I took a quick shower. Lumabas nalang ako ng kwarto nang maramdaman kong kumakalam ang sikmura ko. Nadatnan ko ang ilang maid sa baba sa may kusina. Nagpaluto na lang ako ng bacon at nag-toast ako ng bread. Then tahimik akong kumaing mag-isa. Umalis na daw si mommy sabi ni Aling Ester, ang mayordoma namin. Si Daddy naman ay may business trip sa Switzerland kaya naiwan na naman akong mag-isa dito. It's Saturday so wala akong gagawin. Magkakampo na naman ako sa bahay, as usual.

You see? Over protective sakin ang parents ko pero masyado din silang busy sa private bank namin at sa iba pa naming maliliit na negosyo kaya madalas wala sila sa bahay. Madalas akong napag-iiwanan. Bumabawi naman sila sa'kin. They provide me with everything but still it just doesn't make sense.

Tinapos ko na ang kinakain ko at nag presenta akong hugasan ang mga plato pero nag-insist pa rin yung maid namin na sila nadaw. Hindi raw sila binabayaran ng mga magulang ko para ako ang paghugasin. Ngumiti na lang ako at hinayaan na lang sila.

Time seemed to move really slow while I was staring at the green ceiling of my room. Wala naman akong ibang magawa kaya humiga nalang ako sa kama ko habang nakatingin sa kawalan. I've called Freya like a million times but she won't pick the damn phone. May hangover pa siguro ang bruha kaya hindi sumasagot.

I was already super ultra mega bored of doing nothing when I noticed the photo of the beach resort in Samar, beside a photo of the underground river in Palawan. It was one of the resorts that Brent's family own. Simula ng mamatay ang daddy niya 2 years ago dahil sa isang aksidente, yung mommy niya na ang nagma-manage noon. His sister, Ate Elsa, is a model at nakapag-asawa na sa Europe kung saan naroon ang career nito kaya si lola nalang ang kasama ni Tita Marga doon sa probinsya. Si Brent din kasi ay masiyadong ini-enjoy ang Manila kaya puputi pa siguro ang uwak bago siya tumuntong ulit sa lugar na 'yon. I really can't blame him though. He was with his dad when the accident happened. Pero nakaligtas siya habang hindi naman pinalad si Tito Henry. Kaya kailangan pa talaga ng isang napakalaking dahilan para pauwiin si Brent doon.

I stared at the photo. The sea was peaceful. The waves were silently creeping on the white sand of the beach. Tall coconut trees stood proudly, towering over the place. I smiled. It was a piece of paradise that I really really miss.

I raised my face para ibalik ang picture sa wall. Pero nabigla ako. I was no longer in my room. The warm sea breeze touched my skin and the salty smell of the sea hit my nose. I turned around and saw rows of cottages. There were about more or less ten of them. There were tall coconut trees and blooming calachuchi trees with violet, yellow and red flowers that smells so good. I immediately recognized the place. It was Tita Marga's beach resort. It was as if the picture had absorbed me.

I heard someone giggle behind me. Lumingon ulit ako sa banda ng dagat at nakita ang isang bata. She was wearing a yellow floral dress. She was laughing and giggling habang nakikipaglaro sa isang lalaki na nasa 19 or 18 ang edad. Masaya silang naghahabulan sa buhangin. Medyo malayo sila sa akin kaya siguro hindi nila ako napansin.

"Ally, 'wag kang masiyadong lumapit sa tubig. Baka matangay ka ng alon," sigaw ng lalaki na hinabol ang bata na tumatakbo patalikod sa dagat. High tide na kaya lumalaki na ang mga alon. But the girl seemed not to listen to the guy's warning. Patuloy pa rin itong tumakbo patalikod kahit nababasa na ang bestida niya ng tubig.

"Ally!" A loud scream echoed. Tuluyan ng natangay ng alon ang bata. I panicked. Gusto kong lumangoy sa dagat at saklolohan ang bata. Pero hindi ako makagalaw. It's as if my feet were glued to the ground. I struggled to move. I wanted to scream but my mouth lost it's ability to speak. I tried harder as the vision around me starts to blur. Para akong hinihigop ng isang napakalakas na hangin palayo doon. Then I felt like falling. Falling down on a never ending well.

"Ahhhhhhh" my voice finally found it's way out of my mouth. I fell deeper and deeper down. Then I hit a cold hard ground and everything went black.

I immediately got up, panting and sweating.

"Fvck" I cursed. I was dreaming again. I wiped the sweat off my forehead ng biglang may kumatok sa pintuan ng kwarto ko. Agad kong inayos ang sarili ko before opening the door. Tumambad sa harapan kong ang nakataas na kilay ng mukha ni Freya. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Kanina kapa ba?" tanong ko

"Obvious ba? I was knocking for hours. Pero masyado 'atang masarap tulog mo." She rolled her eyes bago pumasok sa kwarto ko. She looked gorgeous in her nude flowy dress and nude sandals. Her hair was in a ponytail. Hindi halata na may hangover.

Gabi na pala. Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog pala ako. I showered first before meeting Freya back in my room. Nakaon na ang TV ng madatnan ko siyang nakaupo sa kama ko habang kumakain ng chips. And as usual, isang romantic movie nanaman ang pinapanood niya.

I walked towards my walk-in closet para magpalit. I just wore a simple pink tee at dolphin shorts since dito lang naman kami sa bahay. Narinig kong tumili si Freya. Lumabas ako sa walk-in closet at tiningnan ang pinapanood niya. The couple in the movie are kissing and are now making love. Hay, favorite niya talaga ang mga ganiyang eksina. Hinayaan ko nalang siyang magtitili doon habang pinapatay niya ang unan kong si Doraemon sa kakasuntok niya. Kawawang Doraemon.

Lumabas muna ako sandali para magpahanda ng dinner para samin ni Freya. When I got back inside my room, the TV was already turned off. Freya is now lying in my bed with her headphones on. She was holding her phone and scrolling on something. Nakapagpalit na rin siya. She's now wearing blue top and blue shorts. Umupo ako sa kama sa tabi niya.

Freya sometimes visits me at home at dito siya natutulog lalo na kapag Saturdays. And this is one of those times.

"So, how's the party?" I asked.

"What?" she asked back but still keeping her eyes glued to her phone's screen.

"How's the party at Angelo's?" I repeated.

"Nothing new. Still the drinks and everything, you know, the usual"

Hindi niya na sinabi lahat. Ayaw niya na marinig ko pa ang iba kasi alam niyang malulungkot lang ako. Freya is actually thoughtful about me. One thing I really like about her.

She took off her headphones and faced me.

"I almost forgot Ally! I have something for you!" Biglang naging excited ang mukha niya. She jumped out of bed and grabbed her handbag. May kinuha siyang maliit na folded card doon na kulay red.

"What's this?" I asked when she handed me the card.

"It's an invitation to Francine's debut. Medyo matagal panaman siya kasi after finals pa 'yan pero I want to give it to you ahead of time para hindi mo ako tanggihan. Also, it's a formal party so I'm sure Tita Stella will allow you. Though there's gonna be an afterparty pero hindi mo naman kailangan um-attend doon," sabi niya na malapad ang ngiti.

I stared at the red glossy card. It was beautiful and elegantly decorated. May picture pa ng nakababatang kapatid ni Freya na si Francine. She's wearing a deep red, off-shoulder gown while sitting on a stairs decorated with red roses. Francine looked a lot like Freya, though Freya is slimmer and looks more mature. Francine is the cuter version of Freya.

"So ano? Are you coming?" untag ni Freya.

"Of course!" excited na sabi ko. Maraming formal events na rin naman ang nadalohan ko kaya sanay na ako sa mga ganito. My parents usually brings me with them on business events, things I find boring.

Freya clapped her hands and hugged me tight.

Mabilis na dumaan ang panahon. Dumating ang finals week at busy ang lahat sa pagre-review. I had enough time to review kaya hindi ako nahirapan. My exams all went smooth and I'm confident that I'm going to get good scores.

Lumabas na kami ni Freya ng room after our last exam. Friday ngayon at halfday lang and schedule namin so free kami ngayong hapon. Pumunta na kaagad kami sa cafeteria para kumain ng lunch. I ordered a slice of pizza, a cup of salad and fruit juice. Freya ordered pasta and milkshake. We went to our usual spot kung saan nakaupo si Brent na mukhang pinagbagsakan ng pangit -er, langit.

"Hoy! Problima mo?" Freya asked Brent nang makaupo kami sa harap niya. Mukha siyang lutang at ang lalaki pa ng eyebags.

"I think I'm failing the sem" mahinang sambit ni Brent habang napapamasahe ng sentido niya. "My papers are still unfinished and I don't know if the prof. is still going to accept them. Buysit talaga! Hindi pa ako nakapag-review sa finals kasi tinapos ko major paper ko. I messed up," problemadong saad niya.

"Kaka-party mo yan! Babae pa more!" Nag-three-point shot pa si Freya habang tumatawa. Tiningnan ko lang siya ng masama pero hindi niya ako pinansin. Patuloy niya lang tinutukso si Brent sa pabagsak niyang program.

Brent is taking up Political Science. Matalino naman siya. Over-confident nga lang sa sarili kaya hindi masiyadong pinagtutuonan ng pansin ang studies niya. Mas may time pa siya sa pakikipaglandian kaysa sa pag-aaral niya. And now, where did it led him? Hays. Pinaghirapan naming tatlo ang makapasok sa UP Diliman tapos siya ganyan lang ka chill. Napailing na lang ako.

"The sem hasn't ended yet. You need to stop womanizing and give extra effort on your studies. Maybe you'll still get credits at hindi ka nila ibagsak" I said and sipped on my juice.

"Like he can survive a day without a woman's ass?" Freya rolled her eyes.

"Freya!" Saway ko pero tumawa lang siya.

Napakamot na lang sa ulo si Brent. "I'll fix this," mahinang sabi niya at bahagyang ngumiti but I can still see nervousness in his eyes.

"Whatever Brent! Kumalma ka lang. If you fail the sem, there's still summer! There's nothing to worry about, right?" Freya said. She's acting na hindi big deal sa kanya if Brent fails the sem. But she has a point. Brent can still fix it through summer classes if he fails. Kayang-kaya niya naman 'yn kung seseryosohin niya lang.

"Anyway, the party's gonna be tomorrow night. Don't you guys forget about it. Brent ha? Isa ka pa naman sa 18 roses kaya 'wag kang mawawala. Ditch your dates na muna. And you Allysandra, 'wag ka ring magpapa-late at hahanapan kita ng jowa!" Freya giggled at hinampas pa si Brent na para bang kinikilig siya sa idea na hahanapan niya ako ng jowa.

"Ako? ' Di mo 'ko hahanapan?" tanong ni Brent.

"Gago! Sa dinami dami ng babae mo, nagpapahanap ka pa? Kailan kaba makukuntento ha?" singhal ni Freya.

"E 'di wag! Papangit naman ng friends mo eh!" balik naman ni Brent.

"How dare you!"

Natawa nalang ako sa pagbabangayan nilang dalawa. Nasanay na ako na ganiyan sila sa harapan ko. Kahit kaunti lang ang kaibigan ko, I'm still blessed for having these two crazy people in my life. They added flavor and color to my completely blank canvas.

"Ang ingay ninyo. Kayo na lang kaya ang mag-jowa," wala sa sariling sambit ko.

Natigilan silang dalawa. They both faced me with disgusted faces. Mukha pang masusuka si Freya.

"Ewww!" Freya pushed Brent na parang nagtataboy siya ng masamang espiritu.

"Eww yourself! As if gusto rin kita no!"

At sinabunotan na naman siya ni Freya. Mukhang hindi tatahimik ang mundo ko hanggat kasama ko 'tong dalawa. They are fun to hang out with pero minsan nagiging annoying din. Pero nasanay narin naman ako.

Freya and Brent are still ranting at each other infront of me. I just continued eating and unconciously glanced at my professor passing by. Hindi sa kanya napunta ang atensiyon ko kundi sa batang kasama niya. The cute little girl was probably about 4 or 5 years old. She's wearing a blue dress at may flower crown pa sa ulo. She looked so cute kaya marami ang napapalingon habang dumadaan sila ni Prof. Guzman.

"I didn't knew Mrs. Guzman had a child," sabi ni Freya. They had stopped fighting at nakatingin na rin siya doon sa bata.

"That's not her child. That's her grandchild," Brent corrected.

Hindi ko pa rin maiwasang hindi titigan ang bata. She really looked pretty and cute. May sinasabi si Freya kay Brent na hindi ko na maintindihan. Then suddenly, my dream came back to me. Naalala ko yung napaginipan ko last week. Bigla na lang nagsitayuan ang mga balahibo ko sa katawan. I never had this kind of feeling before. Hindi na ako nagkaroon ng time na isipin yung panaginip na 'yon kasi dumating si Freya noon sa bahay at nalibang na ako. Noong mga nakaraang araw din na-busy ako masiyado sa finals.

And today, that strange feeling came back. Gusto kong i-deny sa sarili ko. Pero hindi ko magawa. I know. I really know that in that dream, I was that child.

Pero yung lalaki.

Sino siya?

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