1865
After eating, I went solemnly to the chicken coop and pushed some straw together into a kind of bed, and I fell asleep on it gently crying. I did not know why, and I woke up shocked because in my sleep I’d forgotten where I was. I half recalled a dream of Cristiana coming to me there. It surprised me that she deigned come. I had thought she hated me. In my dream, she never said anything, just unbuttoned my woollen trousers and pushed my two hands down under her skirts. I tucked my fingers into her blouse and held her. I woke wishing it were not a dream. I prayed she would one day come to me.
I stayed at Cristiana’s little farmhouse, sleeping in the chicken coop for three weeks – longer than I should have, I knew, but I was having a hard time recalling why I should go back to Toronto
