Ruthlessly

Burnt and Broken

Jades pov

My eyes shot open quickly, as they adjusted to the light in the room. I realized my breathing was also quick and heavy. My hand was clasping my shirt in a balled fist. I immediately let go and told myself to breathe. I must have had a nightmare, only I couldn't remember what I was dreaming about, which was probably for the better of my well being.

I looked around and noticed my old room. My big white dresser which had a big mirror attached to it, my old kids' toys and books, pictures of good memories... This was a great place to wake up too.

I rubbed my head, it still felt heavy from over thinking everything from yesterday.. Maybe even the shock of thinking someone had been shot. I rubbed my hands over my face, thinking of the memory. I felt dirty and drained, maybe a shower would be a great pick me up.

I sat up and swung my feet on the bed, sleep still stung my eyes. I went to stand up, only to launch my knees back into my chest. What had I just stepped on? I slowly peeked over the edge of the bed to see a sleeping Jody on the floor right next to me.

Why would he sleep there and not on the couch? I shook my head and stepped around him and into my bathroom, which was attached to my bedroom. Coming from living in a basement, having access to both a bedroom and a bathroom feels pretty great.

I turned the shower tap warm and let it sit while I undressed. Then I stepped into the warm streams of water. I verbally moan at the contact of hot water on my skin. I felt the stress leave my lungs as I continued to clean my entire body. I moved onto my hair, lathering it with shampoo and tried to think of the last time I had had a shower. I concluded that it was too long since this felt so good.

I hopped out once I was done, wrapping myself in a fluffy towel as I did. I dried myself off, but as I was drying my hair, I looked at my old clothes and realized how dirty and torn they were. Maybe Karma will have something I could borrow for now.

I made my way out of the bathroom and down the hall before stopping in front of Karmas' door. It was opened slightly. I quietly knocked and the door pushed open, revealing Karma sitting on the edge of her bed. The room was dark, her curtains were closed and only a dim lamp struggled to light up the room. I heard a sniffle come from my sister as she looked up and towards the door. I made a small gasp.

She quickly wiped a tear from her face and gave me a warm smile. She patted the spot next to her on the bed, motioning for me to come sit with her. I moved slowly into the room and sat with her. She looked into my eyes as I looked back into hers. She seemed to be studying my features.

"Kar, are you okay?" I lowly asked. She only smiled again before wiping another tear before it fell from her eye. She nodded her head before moving a strand of hair from my face. She cupped my cheek with her hand before giving me a loving look. One a mother would give their child.

"Yeah.. I'll be alright now that you're here with me." She moved her hand from my face, tucking the loose strand of hair behind my ear again. I gave her an empathetic look and scooted to give her a hug. We wrapped our arms around each other and sat there for a few minutes in silence.

I realized that everything may have hit her harder than I had thought it would. A part of her was probably emotionally damaged from what she saw, how she fought off Jason. Even how she saw him and his image is gone forever. She'll never be able to see our family the same way again. Our family was everything to her.

I know she's strong enough to get past this though. She's strong enough to beat anything. And now Jody and I are here.. She still has a family.

Karma pulled away from our hug, breaking my train of thought.

"Did you need something hun?" She asked, trying to act normally again.

I looked down at my thick towel, remembering I was basically naked. I nodded my head and smiled, laughing at myself. "Um.. I was wondering if I could borrow something to wear? My clothes are dirty and have holes in them.."

She gave me a big smile before rummaging threw her dresser. She turned back around and handed me a pair of sweat pants and a red tank top.

"There. Those should fit.. If not, you can always tighten the strings!" Karma instructed me. I thanked her before leaving, going back to my bathroom and changing into them. They felt fresh, and I felt clean.

I brushed my hair out with an old brush I had found on top of my dresser. I sighed while looking in the mirror. I put the brush down and looked to my right. A window caught my eye. I walked up to it and looked out. I could see the farm stretching out over the property. I breathed in the country air through the open screen.

I stepped back and decided a walk around the apple orchard would do me good. I also wanted to see the horses Karma kept on the pins out back. My only concern was Jason's threat to come back yesterday. What if he was still on the property waiting for the right moment to grab me and take me back? It made me feel uneasy to think about.

'We have freedom. Let's use it while we can'  my mind argued with me. I sighed, she was right. We fought this far. We've earned all of this.

I went down the stairs and out the door. I headed towards the orchard. I weaved in and out of trees admiring the apple blossoms. It was only spring, so this year's harvest wasn't ready yet. The petals were still really pretty to look at though.

I moved away from the trees onto a dirt path and ventured past the tractor sheds. Karma had two huge tractors for her wheat fields which covered all of the property on both left and right sides of the farm. They were giant fields.

I passed the sheds and walked a little further down the path towards the forested area at the back. There were two pins; one held all the horses, which was only three. And the other held two dairy cows. I marched over to the horses pin area and scooped a handful of hay from the ground. I held my hand up over the fence and made a clicking sound with my tongue. A mare ran over quickly and graciously ate the hay from my hand. I stroked her nose with my other hand and cooed nothings at her.

I bent back down to scoop up some more hay, only when I started to stand back up something caught my eye further down the path. The path continued up ahead and I could see it leading to an opening in the trees. The tree branches made an arch reaching circularly over to the other side of the opening. I stopped paying attention to the horse and stared blankly at the opening. I felt a strange attraction to that specific area. I can't remember ever seeing that part of the farm. But it was almost as if the place was calling out to me. I dropped the hay in my hands and started walking towards the opening.

As I came closer, I could make out a structure on the other side. The colour of the wood made it seem old and worn down. I walked along the passage way. On the other side I came to face an old barn. Or what looked too used to be one. The whole roof had caved in, making the entire building useless. One of the walls had also caved in. Slowly I made my way around it. I looked into the caved wall and saw the inside was covered in vegetation, no floor was to be seen.

I walked back to the front of the barn house and took a long look. It seemed to be staring back at me. Like it was breathing almost. I wondered what could have happened. The whole thing looked... Devastating. Like someone was enraged with the place.

My stomach started to turn and give me an unsettling feeling. I didn't like it and decided to run back home, wanting to be away from the place. The door slammed shut behind me and I was met by Karma preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

She turned around smiling but stopped once she saw my face. Which I'm assuming was twisted into a distressed sort of look. I quickly tried to shake it away.

"Are you alright?" She asked me. She started to set the table as she studied me. I thought about asking her about the barn, but I didn't want her morning to be ruined if something bad happened, like an animal didn't make it. Karma is passionate about things like that.

"Yeah great, just exploring outside.." I lied. I would ask karma at breakfast about the farm. At least she will be sitting.

Karma seemed unsure, but she shot me a smile anyway.

"Jody's still asleep, why don't you go wake him up for breakfast?" She told me in a soft voice. I nodded my head and complied, climbing back up the stairs to wake him. After I got him up, we went back downstairs and everyone joined at the table. Karma made eggs, bacon and toast. I pushed my food around on my plate. I was hungry but I couldn't eat with the burnt down barn on my mind.

I noticed karma's eyes burning threw me as I brought my eyes up to meet hers. She tilted her head while she chewed. "Are you sure you're alright? You haven't touched a thing on your plate."

I could now feel Jody staring at me in curiosity. I lowered my head and put my fork down on my plate. Then I looked at karma.

"Well, when I was on my walk I was petting the horses and this... Passageway caught my eye." I began to explain to her. She nodded her head as her brows furrowed at first. I continued to explain how the barn looked and that it was all burnt down and broken. And her eyes slowly widened, her fork fell from her hand.

"How'd it burn down?" I asked her. She looked down and finished chewing what was in her mouth. She thought for a moment.

"It burned down in a drought last summer. The hay caught fire and brought the whole place down." She swallowed and took another bite of her food. I made a weird face but nodded. I didn't feel like karma was telling me the whole truth based on how much the barn had called out to me. Somehow I felt connected to it, only I didn't know how, when I'd never seen the place.

I looked back up to see Karma and Jody both staring at each other intensely. They didn't seem to notice me watching them, so I acted as if I didn't. Do they both know something?

Jody's pov

I stared at Karma as she told Jade about a drought fire. I would have believed her too if I hadn't already heard Jason ramble on and on about his childhood here.

I didn't know the whole story because Jason was always drunk when he rambled over and over. But I knew a little. All I knew was that Jason's parents died in that barn. But how could Jade not know that? And why would Karma keep it from her?

I decided to keep quiet. At least until I can talk to Karma myself. If she wasn't telling Jade she must have a really good reason.

Karma and I broke eye contact and looked back at Jade who still had her head down. Karma then got up and went to the counter. She returned with a sticky note.

"Anyway.. I need some help on the farm. I made you both a list of some chores you can do to help out."

She handed us both a list. I listened as Jade started reading hers out loud.

"Feed chickens.. Collect eggs.. Pick ripe vegetables and.. Feed the horses!" She happily said the last part before looking at me and asking what I had to do. I smiled, taking in her happy face and energy before looking at my list.

"Collect horse and cow manure and spread it by hand onto crops..." I looked up at Karma who was smiling a huge smile. Jade winced.

"Oh come on, she just hates me!" I threw the paper down on the table.

"Oh no, no sweetie." Karma sarcastically exclaimed, "don't take it to heart, it's just a chore."

I rolled my eyes and looked at Jade, who was oblivious to Karma's sarcasm. "But what about my hands? I don't want them covered in... Crap!"

Karma scoffed at me before getting up from the table. She rubbed her hands together. "Gloves, sweetheart." Then she turned off into the house somewhere. I looked to Jade to complain about how unfair it was, but she had already gone out the door too. The screen door shut with a slam and I sighed.

Great.

Jades pov

I walked out the door before another word could be said to me. I made my way towards the chicken coop with feed in hand.

I walked down the dirt path and was almost half way there when I stopped and turned towards the forested area. Directly in front of me was the passageway. The destroyed barn was calling out to me again. I was stopped there just staring, like I was unable to break free. The whole area is just enticing me, inviting me in.

I eventually broke free of the spell and continued on my way to the chicken's coop. I began spreading food around them.

I couldn't help to think of what Karma could be hiding. I don't know if she can tell, but she isn't very good at hiding things. Neither is Jody, the way that they acted at breakfast gave it all away.

I didn't believe what she had said about the drought. I want to believe Karma wouldn't lie to me, but at the same time, I can't help but feel there's something important that happened here and she isn't telling me.

I looked up from placing the feed down and looked back out to the passageway as I stood back up. Again something pulled me towards it.

Something definitely isn't right with this.

Karmas pov

I placed the last dish down on the table as I heard the door open and shut behind me. In walked Jade, who seemed to be ruffled. She must just be hungry.

I watched as she washed her hands and placed her spring coat on the wooden hanger by the door. She then took her seat at the table. She looked up at me.

"Smells good." She complimented my cooking. I nodded in agreement.

"Let's hope it tastes even better." I gave her a wink and took my seat across from her. Not even seconds after doing so, Jody stumbled in threw the door. He had snow-pants and a large winter coat on and was covered in manure. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Apparently, Jade couldn't hold it back either as she soon joined me.

"I told you to clean and spread the manure, not roll around in it!" I spat between breaths.

"You look like a big, dirty, smelly marshmallow!" Jade contributed. Jody's face twisted into an angry one as his face flushed red and he crossed his arms.

"Shut up!" He shouted over our laughter. "You try shovelling and spreading crap around without it getting in your mouth!"

Both Jade and I stopped laughing and looked at each other then back to Jody, who seemed to regret what he had just said. We both started bawling with laughter again.

"S-so" I breathed out, "you ate s**t?" I finished before we both started laughing even louder. Jody got even more embarrassed and left the room to go get cleaned up. When he came back, we all started dinner.

I raised my glass, "A toast to not hearing or seeing Jason all day!"

Jade raised her glass too. "Yeah, I would have thought he'd be back as soon as he could with his promised police threat." That was true, but I think we all expected that.

We all continued eating in silence. When we were all finished, Jade excused herself to go to sleep and Jody had followed her upstairs. Which left me with the dishes.

I stood in silence, the warm water soaking my hands and the swift swishes being the only sounds filling the room.

I looked out the window over the sink and outside. It was dark and no movement except for the breeze in the branches could be seen. I took a breath and looked back down at my dishes.

I looked back up out the window and jumped. Jody's refection from behind me had scared me. I turned around and threw the rag in my hand at him.

"Holy, Jody! Wear a bell!" I picked the cloth up from the ground and put it back in the sink.

"Sorry." He apologized. "But we need to talk". I furrowed my brow and looked at him, confused.

Jody gasped, realizing my confusion. "Its about that barn out back.." He pointed out the window and I nodded, remembering how he'd looked at me during breakfast. "I.. I don't know the whole thing but.. I know your parents died out there."

My face fell and my mood felt saddened. I didn't show it, I only dried my hands off on a towel and nodded my head. I grabbed my bottle of wine and began pouring a glass.

"Well, I've never told anyone before.. I guess that was a mistake."

I headed towards the couch and Jody trailed behind me. We both sat down next to each other. I took a big sip of my wine and settled in.

I took a shaky breath before I started to tell him. I'd never opened my mouth about this before, I don't even know where to begin.

"I'll start at the beginning." I cleared my throat. "Seventeen years ago, my mom cheated on my dad. This resulted in her becoming pregnant.. She tried to hide it." I shook my head, remembering the stupidity. "And she did, really well. That is until the baby had to be born." I chugged a little more of my wine back before continuing. "I was out on a sleepover, I was supposed to help her get to the hospital but.. The baby came too early. It was unexpected. So she ran out to the barn, dilating ten meters, bleeding.. She took Jason with her instead, she had the baby in secrecy.." I took my cigarette package from the table and lit one. Talking about this was stressful. And it brings back memories. Painful ones.

"After several hours of painful childbirth, my father found them. He was astonished. He questioned her about her pregnancy. Why she didn't tell him? And when she told him about how disloyal she had been, he.. He was.." I took a long drag of smoke and puffed it back out. I put my head back on my chair, eyes to the ceiling, not wanting to make eye contact with Jody. "Well, he was enraged. No one could have talked him down from that state. Not even Jason.. And he did try to. But our dad wouldn't listen." I made my point. Jason did try his best to save her. I give him that, even though he doesn't deserve the dirt I walk on.

"So, the baby was handed to Jason. Jason ran back home and called the police and hid in my closet." I put my cigarette out, blowing the rest out and wiping my face with my hands briefly. "When I got home, I was met by police, a burnt down barn and body bags. I found Jason two hours later.. He wouldn't touch her, kept mumbling about it being her fault.. and honestly, only Jason could know what really happened in that barn that day."  

I sniffled and wiped a tear. I downed the rest of my wine in one gulp, then looked at Jody. He seemed to be thinking everything over, but was speechless at the same time. I understood. There's no words for a situation like that. The insanity, no sense of humanity.. Straight up  manslaughter.

"Thats not all, either."  I slipped the words out threw blows of smoke, "you see, my daddy was a cop.. And I'm sure that day, that crime was covered up to keep his outstanding image of an officer."  

Jody kept his eyes on mine, I laughed and put my cigarette out in the ashtray, "I always told Jade that I was the illegitimate child.. If she ever found out, she wouldn't feel it was her fault. But I guess Jason always took it out on her anyway. That's why I need you to understand, why we can never say a word to her, the devastation it would bring would break her, maybe even make her feel like she deserved what happened to her."

Jody once again nodded his head, "not a word. I understand"

And silence completely surrounded us once again. Neither of us dared to break it.