Pose For Me

Pretend

"29"

whip!

"3-30" my voice breaks and face cringes hard as I prep myself for the last sting of the belt on my back. My knees burn from the salt on the hard kitchen ground and my hands ache to soothe the wounds on my body, I swallow my cries but fail at my uncontrollable tears running down my cheeks wetting my neck in the process as they glide all the way down to my naked breasts creating a pool on the white tiled floor. The silence is Scary for I don't know how he'll decide to finish me off, either with a different weapon or his hand like last time, this is one of the consequences of Choosing to see Him. Justin counts my hours at the office and the number of patients I see daily and calculates the exact time each session takes, I come home at the same time everyday except for yesterday, despite me trying to explain the mix up of the papers my words were silence by the sounds of the belt buckle to an angry fiancé that I was supposed to feed.

"What does it say In the Bible?" He breathed out angrily with a slight exhaustion.

Shakily I look up to greet my calm fiancé as I search In his eyes which Bible quote that best matches this situation, analyzing the scene brought me to my answer. I left for work yesterday knowing I should have been home to feed my future husband since I would have gotten home before him to prepare for dinner and clean the house but instead my daily routine was faltered for reasons only me and God know. He held a belt above me expecting an answer when I give him Corinthian 7:3-5

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. The words escape my lips with no emotion, for when I said it it was emotionless.

"Have I Not been a good fiancé to you?"

"Y-you have" I try to fight the tears to not think of this ironic situation, but each moment made me wince feeling the salt being absorbed into the open scabs of my wounded knees when he dragged me.

"Is this what you call a loyal wife? Why should I even stay with you when I can't even count on you to be there to feed me in the future" He sits down tapping his foot on the ground impatiently looking at my half naked body. Even in unnecessary events such as these a tiny throb found it's way to my c**t, The way he looks at me immediately makes me think of Him. Suddenly the pain felt a little bearable and I wanted to be spanked even more, my hormones tricked my brain, and an illusion took place, multiple blinks didn't make it go away, yet I didn't even want it to. Instead of Justin Rafael sits in front of me; expensive black dress shoes are present, black pants unbuckled and shirtless, letting me see all the olive toned glory. My lips part in an attempt to release breaths from my racing heart, his eye contact is extreme as ever, darkening if the rims, his legs are spread wide, he leans back, one arm on the table, hand cupped around his mouth, that position. He watches me through hooded eyes. I whimper when he stands menacingly slow, I feel my body shrink and I welcome The submission hoping he'll do something to me.

The clinking of his heeled shoes make me nauseas as he gets closer. I ready my body for pain and or pleasure, he finally stands before hovering over my body like a lion against its prey, He looks down at me on my knees for him, both his strong muscled arms hang loose while his right hand tightly held the belt, I look up his half naked body, the masculinity made me melt in his presence, hard defined stomach with an eight pack, a broad smooth chest, but the real cherry on top is the third leg that looks me eye to eye from my position. The size of the outline made me lick my lips gulping, suddenly the sound came again, that sound that always follow his presence in any form he comes to me. The sound of women moaning echo all throughout the room, they moan his name sounding really turned on and desperate. It did things to me, each moaned zapped my core, I can feel the electricity running through my body awakening all the sensitive spots in my limbs. The new ache made me uneasy for I knew it needed to be to satiated ... in between my legs, the darkness and growl from him tells me my assignment and I don't hesitate. My arm slowly extends; reaching out to grab even a small part of him, I want to reach, I want to give in, I want to stay on my knees for him, anything he wants as long as he touched me and rid of this terrible hunger in my body.

"Are you listening to me?" I Blink out of the sweet daydream I was taken to unknowingly, Justin stands before me, but not the same distance as Rafael did in my illusion. I prepared myself for when I came back to reality, the pain would he hit me like a ton of bricks. "I'm sorry, I zoned out Justin please for give me" he sighs arrowing the end of his black belt into the hook of the loop of his pants, a part of me was relieved and a part of me was disappointed.

"We have to get ready for church to fully wash you of this disobedience" he says taking his dress shirt to button up and walking away, Standing up was agony, before I can even fully stand I had to brush out the salt that was stuck to my knees, it felt like I was dipped in acid when I tried to shower and apply any sugar scrub or Moisturizer on my body. Using makeup to hide certain marks but with my dark brown skin it wasn't a hard task, I decided on a white skin tight dress that ends at my knees with straps that hang on my biceps with a black blazer to not have Justin think I'm advertising my body. My hair gelled and layed perfectly while the end of my pony tale is a natural big poof, lips are glossy, minimum mascara and not to strong perfume. I must limit myself to little or no jewelry, time is of the essence I must make do with what I had for if I'm not out in time I'll have another punishment. I finish my outfit with black flats I grab my purse and phone in a hurry feeling accidentally knocking out something from my purse but my time has run out, I'll pick it up later.

The silence for the trip to church made it feel like It was eons away, Justin's face looks calm and collected but my the grip he has on the steering wheel says otherwise, not to mention each time he clenched the wheel forcing out his veins. Parking was impossible it was more of a nuisance how everyone lingered outside continuing their conversations as if there isn't anyone in need to pass. I smile at our beautiful sanctuary home every Sunday, it helps me feel embraced by the gates of heaven, I caught my face in the mirror on my passenger side and my smile fades when I see made the eye contact, the nerve I have for smiling bay this home when I let my mind and body wonder to sinful thoughts and feelings. Justin and I exit the car and are immediately swarmed by our friends and neighbors, Justin leaves with his guy friends/ husbands and I'm welcomed by my friends and the wives Amber, Margaret and Maggie.

"Heyy" they squeal in sync all three beautiful women.

Maggie had been married to Josiah for more than three years, Maggie is a dark skin voluptuous Tanzanian with a curly Afro, Fox eyes and full lips, A goddess of the sun is what she's called in town, Josiah her husband is a six-five Handsome Egyptian Adonis with blonde curly hair, toned biceps, and torso with minimum tattoos .

Margaret is a slim thick German beauty, hair gold and eyes ocean blue, natural full red lips that contrast beautifully against her porcelain skin, Dove is what I love to call her, her husband Jake is a walking Drink of water on a hot day, height hits six-three and a half, jet Black curly hair and Green eyes, like Josiah his physic are also ripped, prominent veins live freely on his minimal tatted arms.

Margaret is a sexy Slim thick Asian Goddess, her olive skin heightened the black silk hair that fell evenly to the bottom of her well shaped butt, paper flat tummy and small perky breast sitting proudly on her chest, the cute button nose and big almond eyes made me think of a tiny tea cup Pomeranian, she's the definition of a beauty standard and her fiancé Ryan a six-four handsome Irish Viking man with red hair and blue eyes, the porcelain skin enhanced every natural dark color on his body, demanding his presence to be known.

They huddle around me jumping and squealing even though we saw each other three days ago it feels like years.

My sisters and best friends what I would not do without them by my side.

"Ahhh I love how we're just being completely loud out here in the open" Maggie squeals, they all stop and we laugh out loud.

"Have you seen the new weekly cover of the top model" Margaret says.

"Nooo, who won?" I say anxiously the four of us love to get together and laugh and trash and pass blogs, and Tv shows over wine, beer or anything over girls night.

"It's a really beautiful thick African Model she's married to a very big time lawyer in the country"

"She's so lucky, they look like they are in love " Amber adds on pulling out her phone and showing it too us. The woman was a breath of fresh air it was like she was born for this, curly Afro, a face created by Aphrodite and a body that puts snickers to shame, her husband isn't bad either, he's a buff guy well suited and respected in his profession, No one can stand a chance against him.

"She kind of looks like you" amber points out to me and I'm almost compelled to not accept such a compliment but hey, "the photographer that took her picture is obviously well skilled and I've been needing to do one myself"

"Yea we should all do one but how do you book them and who's the photographer?" Amber says

"Shouldn't you know that, after all your the planner with these things" Margaret mocks.

We fail to hold on our laughter as we all just burst out, Amber looks around before pulling out the finger and I quickly shot out my hand to lower hers. "Puh-Lease, that only means I'm the best of the best lose-" the church bell sings and thats our cue to end all conversations, for now at least.

"Group chat?" Amber says before her husband comes to collect her.

"Group chat" we all say in sync as all our men come to collect us as well.

My arm hooked around Justin's biceps "Remember this is to wash your sins , I'd wipe that smile away if I were you" he whispered and suddenly Rafael comes back into mind as I walk into the Sanctuary head high as my eyes meet our holy Father on the Cross.