Code Blue

Lexi vs. Normalcy

It was strange to be back on campus. In the week following Daniel Stafford’s arrest, I hadn’t returned to my dorm room, instead choosing to hide out in Evan’s apartment until everyone directly involved in the moving of the shipment was rounded up and it no longer looked as though anybody could be searching for the leak.

But now that the mission was officially over, the cleanup process had to begin, starting with the removal of any indication of my life on campus and the cleansing of my dorm room. The agency had offered to have a team come out and do a clean sweep, but I volunteered to do it by myself. I thought maybe it would provide me with some closure, because despite having successfully completed my mission, I still felt as though I had unfinished business.

Pushing open the door of my dorm room to find Quinn sitting cross legged atop her bed, inspecting her nails, which were freshly painted a vibrant cobalt, provided with me with the chance to begin my path to closure.

“Hey," I said cautiously as I entered, pressing my back against the door once it closed and wondering how the hell we were going to have a normal conversation. Now that I was no longer attempting to blend in, it seemed I'd lost my ability to be just an average college kid.

If she sensed that I was on edge, she didn't show it all, smiling widely as she greeted me. “Hey. So, word on the street is you’re not a transfer student." I stopped breathing and my eyes widened in horror at the prospect of the entire campus knowing my true identity. Noting the fact that I was on the verge of having a heart attack, Quinn hurriedly continued, "Evan told me.”

“Evan told you?” I relaxed slightly, glad to know she'd been told my secret by a trustworthy source and my name wasn't just churning through the campus's rumor mill. Still, it was strange that Evan would be so open with Quinn after the lectures he'd given me on why I shouldn't tell Max. But maybe now that I already had spilled the beans, he figured there was no harm in one more person knowing.

“I ran into him at the supermarket just off campus," she replied casually, not at all perturbed to discover that the girl she'd been living with for the past few months was actually a secret agent, "I guess he assumed you told me already.”

I wondered if I should be more concerned that she was taking this so well. “I should have. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to bring it up. It’s not exactly a topic of conversation that would come up organically.”

“I guess not," she laughed, uncrossing her legs to dangle them over the side of her bed. "How’d you get into this, anyway?”

That was a pretty standard question, so I answered truthfully, slowly taking a step forwards. “They recruited me out of high school because I didn’t really have a family and if you wanna work undercover, being independent is an asset.”

I thought about just stopping there, about keeping this conversation as short as possible, but I decided that despite not knowing each other long, Quinn did deserve to know the whole truth. So I paced in front of her bed and I told her everything. I told her about my parents' accident and how I'd lived in a haze for months, and was only snapped out of it by the appearance of a mysterious stranger who had appeared at the juice bar I worked at after school. He was a large man in a crisp black suit, who'd ordered a small mango orange smoothie and slipped me a business card with nothing but a phone number on it when he paid with cash and told me to keep the change. Intrigued, I'd called the number and the next day, they picked me up after school and brought me to an undisclosed location and asked me if I wanted to make a choice that would change my life forever and the rest was history.

“Damn," she said when I was finished, looking pretty impressed. "I always wanted to be a secret agent, but I never thought it was a real job.”

“Yeah, me neither," I couldn't help but smile, glad that there didn't seem to be any tension between us, "So, we’re okay? I know I’ve been lying to you for months…”

Plus, now that she knew I was on campus for something other than to learn about advanced microeconomics, she was bound to be concerned for her safety. It was only natural.

“Nah, we’re all good," she shrugged. "At least now I understand why you were so hesitant to share anything about yourself.”

“I technically had a backstory," I admitted with a wry smile, "but it’s just easier to be closed off, I guess. It kept me safe.”

She tilted her head to the side and lifted an eyebrow. “Did it?”

“What do you mean?” I replied automatically, though I knew exactly what she was talking about.

She didn't need to clarify. “Have you talked to him?”

“Max?" I breathed out his name shakily. I hadn't said since that fateful day at the beach house and my legs began to feel a little wobbly. Stepping forward, I crouched down to slide my duffel bag out from under my bed, using the bed's metal frame to steady myself before I stood up straight again and began to empty out my dresser. "Not since I told him the truth. He’s avoiding me. I guess I can’t blame him though.”

“It’s a lot to process," she agreed. "Are you leaving?”

“Yep," I nodded, not bothering to fold anything and just stuffing clothes into the bag wherever they would fit. "The mission objective has been completed, so I’m being called back to headquarters." I paused and scrunched up my nose as I glanced over at her. "Most likely so that I can be severely reprimanded for blowing my cover.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine," she assured me with a wide smile, wiggling off the bed and coming to stand beside me. "For the record, I loved being your roommate and I wish we could have stayed roommates longer.”

“Same here," I replied genuinely, "It was nice. Being normal.”

We changed the subject while I finished packing up all my clothes, deciding that I didn't really need any of the other room accessories and by the time I was standing in the open doorway with my duffel bag hanging from my shoulder, I felt much calmer than I had an hour before. I felt like Quinn and I were parting ways as friends and I couldn't be happier with the thought.

“See you around, Evie," she whispered into my ear as she squeezed me into a hug.

I smiled and tightened my arms around her as well. “See you around, Quinn.”

I didn't leave campus right away. I couldn't. Not without at least trying to make amends. So for what I assumed would be the last time, I stood outside his door, waiting for it to swing and open and to find some sort of light in his eyes. And although there was light when the door opened, it wasn't from the person I expected.

“Hey, Trevor.”

He leaned against the doorway casually, crossing his arms over his chest, a slight smile playing at his lips as he got the point without me having to ask. “He’s not here.”

“Is he really not here," I replied with a sigh, "or are you just saying that because he doesn’t want to see me?”

“Both," Trevor laughed, "He’s really not here, but I was instructed to pretend I didn’t know where he was if you came by.”

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. “Great. So he is definitely avoiding me.”

“I mean, finding out your girlfriend is a secret agent isn’t exactly something you just get over," he pointed out.

“Right," I winced, not sure how I felt that the list of people who knew my secret was getting longer. Though I guess it was kind of my fault. It would have been silly of me to think that Max wouldn't have immediately confided in his best friend. "Of course he told you.”

“Well yeah, but I’ve known for like, two months.”

I blinked as I processed those words, taking a minute to make sure I'd heard him correctly, because surely he hadn't just told me that he'd figured out weeks ago that I was an undercover agent. Because that would mean I really sucked at my job. “What?”

“I was suspicious when I found out you were snooping around Max's room at the party," he explained, "but seeing you in his dad’s office at the ball confirmed it.”

To be honest, I could see how it would have been pretty easy to piece it all together. Especially since I didn't give Trevor nearly enough credit for his observational skills. But that still left one question unanswered.  “I don’t understand, if you knew, why didn’t you tell him?”

“Because I thought you could help him," he replied quietly, pushing himself off the doorway and shoving his fingers into the front pockets of his jeans. "Look, Max’s my best friend and he’s been my best friend since we were five, so I know everything about him. Including the fact that taking over his father’s role was literally the last thing on earth he wanted. So I guess I figured that if you had some kind of plan that ended in the syndicate being brought down, then it would save Max from what he would consider a fate worse than death.”

I supposed that was a noble reason to keep my secret. And if I was in his situation, I might have done the same thing. Because Max had told me himself that he didn't want to end up like his father, so it made sense that Trevor, in an attempt to look out for his best friend, would do whatever it took to keep Max from that fate.

“Okay," I breathed out, feeling my heart rate slowly beginning to return to normal after the initial shock of Trevor's revelation, "but, his father is going to prison for the rest of his life and you’re fine with that?”

That was the only part of the situation that I couldn't wrap my head around. Even if Trevor's intentions in protecting Max were good, his secrecy as to my identity didn't change the fact that Daniel still ended up getting arrested.

“It was going to happen someday,” he said, his expression becoming stony, “Just because I’ve known the Stafford family my entire life doesn’t mean that I’m not aware that what they do is extremely shitty.”

That was a very blunt way of phrasing it. I lifted an eyebrow in surprise. “Does Max know that you knew?”

“No,” Trevor shook his head and sighed.

To be honest, I would have thought Trevor would have confessed as soon as Max told him the truth about me. “Are you going to tell him?”

“Why would I do that?” he asked, as though it was a completely ridiculous suggestion. Which it definitely wasn’t, because Trevor of all people had to know how much Max valued honesty in his close relationships. And considering I’d just majorly betrayed him on that front, it didn’t make sense for Trevor to be keeping such a big secret from him either.

I fixed him with a pointed glare, crossing my arms over my chest. “Because he’s your best friend and he deserves to know.”

It was like he snapped out of a daze, his expression flooding with guilt as he sighed heavily and stared down at the ground. “Right.”

This would have been a good time to say something reassuring or comforting, but it seemed as though neither of those were in my repertoire at the moment, so I went with, “Well, at least I won’t be alone on the list of people Max hates.”

To my relief, he cracked a smile and let out a breathy laugh as he lifted his gaze to meet mine, taking his shot at being supportive. “He doesn’t hate you. He’ll come around.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. I’d dropped a pretty big bomb on him in revealing my true identity and even if he did decide to help me professionally, it didn’t mean that he’d forgive me personally.

“I hope so,” I whispered, thinking this entire situation was so surreal. Letting out a rueful laugh, I shook my head and grinned at Trevor. “God, what kind of dumbass secret agent falls in love the son of a crime lord?”

It was the first time I’d said those words out loud. The first time I’d openly allowed myself to admit how I really felt about Max. It was deliciously freeing and it surprised me how easily the words seemed to fall from my lips.

“I guess there’s a first time for everything,” he chuckled, matching my smile.

“I should go,” I grinned wider, feeling a bit lighter, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. “Thanks, Trevor.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise and his shoulders followed suit. “For what?”

There seemed to be too many things to thank him for: keeping my secret when he didn’t have to, bailing me out of every single sticky situation I’d gotten myself into, keeping me from drowning in my schoolwork. I couldn’t list all the ways Trevor had been invaluable to my mission; more than he probably even realized, so I settled for the simplest answer. “For everything.”

He accepted the vague response, nodding once as I turned to walk back to the car I’d borrowed from Evan, calling out my name when I reached the driver’s side door.

“Hey, Evie?” he said, pausing to chew on his lower lip, as though deciding whether or not to keep going and ultimately giving in, “You should know, you weren’t the only one who fell. He’s in love with you, too.”

I knew that. Or at least, I did a week ago. But now, after everything we’d been through, there was no telling how Max’s feelings for me had changed. Lifting the corners of my lips into a sad smile I said, “Maybe he was, but I doubt he is anymore.”

“You’d be surprised,” he replied cryptically, a ghost of a smile kinking his lips. “Good luck.”

Before I could ask for further explanation, he turned and stepped back inside the house, closing the door after he entered. I stared at the spot where he’d been standing just moments before, wondering if maybe, he still had some secrets left to tell. Maybe we all did.