The Other Luna

Day 11

I sat at the kitchen table with my mug in my hands. I had woken up from the feeling of being unable to breathe and was too scared to fall back asleep. So now I sat with a mug of hot chocolate in the kitchen. I hadn't bothered to look at the time, but I assumed it was sometime in the morning. I watched silently as a shirtless boy walked in, opened the fridge, grabbed the milk and drank straight from the container.

"You know other people drink from that right?" I watched as the boy jumped a foot in the air before slowly turning around and looking at me.

"I didn't see you there" I took a sip from my mug. I wanted to sleep. "Who are you?" He squinted his eyes at me. I raised my eyebrows.

"Your Alpha let me stay in your pack for a while"

"Cole did that?" I took another sip. He watched me closely. "It's one in the morning, why are you drinking coffee?"

"It’s not coffee, but I can't sleep anyway. Why are you drinking milk at one in the morning?"

"Touché" We stared at each other for a moment before he turned to the cabinet, pulling out a bowl and box of cereal and then coming to sit across from me. If I didn't have a mate, I would've been checking out his naked torso but at the moment the only person I wanted to see naked was Aidan. "So what's your name?"

"Mia"

"Ryker" We sat in silence for a few seconds before he announced, "I'm the beta of this pack" He seemed proud, like he was trying to wow me. I wasn't wowed so I didn't answer him. Once again silence took over and all you could hear was Ryker slurping his cereal. I watched him from the corner of my eye while sipping my hot chocolate. I didn't usually drink hot chocolate, but the comfort of the warm sweet drink had lured me into using the instant powder. "Is your hair dyed?" His question surprised me.

"No" I looked at my reflection in the backsplash on the wall.

"I've never seen a wolf with grey hair"

"Well, now you have" I guess I was in an insufferable mood because of my lack of sleep. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the table in front of me. Maybe if Ryker stayed beside me while I slept, I would be able to breathe through the whole night.

When I woke with a start, hands clutching my throat I knew that wasn't true. Ryker was still sitting beside me, his eyes were wide, watching as I recovered from a coughing fit.

"What was that?"

"Just a nightmare" I sighed unhappily.

"I'm pretty sure that was more than just a nightmare. You stopped breathing" I shrugged my shoulders in response. What did he want me to say? "That's not normal" I shrugged my shoulders again. "You should get that che--" I interrupted him

"I know. And to be honest, I don't think that any of this is your business"

"If you're in my pack, even temporary, it's my job to take care of you" I rolled my eyes. My hot chocolate was cold now so I got up from my spot, poured it down the drain and made myself a mug of coffee this time, determined to stay awake. I dropped two cubes of sugar into the mug and poured a spoonful of milk, grimacing slightly because Ryker had just drunk from the bottle.

We sat in silence for a long time afterward. When Ryker finished his breakfast, he put the bowl and spoon into the dishwasher. He left the kitchen in a hurry, leaving me all alone in the room. No longer liking the feeling of being alone I decided to wander around instead of sit at the kitchen table. I knew that on the first floor there were no rooms to sleep in and instead there were entertainment rooms. If I wandered around, I knew there wasn't a chance I would wake anyone up.

I set my mug of coffee at the bottom of the stairs and ran down the hallway stopping only to open all the doors. Once I finished that I ran from room to room looking briefly in every room. The first room was a video game room. It had all the newest technology in gaming and had multiple screens to play. The next room was a cinema. The third room was a training room with very high ceilings. I doubted there were any rooms above the center. The fourth room was a family room with sitting chairs and a small coffee table. The last room was my favorite. To enter the room, it had tall wooden doors with small engravings in them. They were extremely heavy to push and behind them was a three-floor library. Once again, I doubted that there were any rooms above this one. There were hundreds and hundreds of books. Most of them weren't even on shelves, they were just piled on the floor, on tables, on chairs, and on all the desks. This was the perfect place to go if you were hiding from someone. The library was dark when I had first walked in, but after I turned on the lights, I was able to see everything.

I walked slowly along the walls, trailing my fingers over the spins of the books. Reading had always been a passion of mine. Back in my old pack, I had much more time to read because I didn't need to train, and nobody expected anything of me. I was to provide for myself and stay out of the way. In this new pack though, I was always so busy with training, trying to get Aidan to notice me, cooking, and caring for Max I didn't have time to r******w that I thought about it, I wasn't even sure if Aidan had an area for entertainment. I'm sure he did, I just didn't have the time to go exploring. I lifted my fingers to my face to look closer at them. They were covered in dust. These books were not well kept of. As I walked, I tripped over a stack of books on the floor and tumbled over, falling to the ground in a big thump. Looking at the books, I knew what I had to do.

"I'm going to put them away" I rose from the ground and took the first book, taking note of the author's name. Then I went from shelf to shelf trying to find the alphabetical spot for it. It didn't take me long to realize, there was no spot for it. Books were just tossed anywhere.

I had spent a lot of time in my old library and I knew just how much not having an organized library annoyed me. So, without asking for permission, I began pulling all the books off the shelves and onto the floor. Originally, I had wanted to go floor by floor but I was afraid that I would get to the third floor and find books that belonged on the first, so I decided to do all three floors at once.

After that I took a cloth and some cleaner, I found in a cupboard and began wiping down all the shelves. Occasionally, I changed clothes and put the old one to dry since they were so covered in dust. It was hard work, especially for the shelves that were too high, and I had to bring a chair to reach them. By the time I had finished, the sun had begun to rise in the distance. Although I had been tired earlier, I wasn't anymore. When I finished dusting, I knew what I had to do.

Put the books back.

I pushed away all the books in one corner of the room to make space for all the books that had authors whose last names began with A. I went up and down all three sets of stairs until I was sure I had every book that was going to be in the A section. Then I piled them on the shelf and started with the next letter. When I had reached letter L I began to get hungry, so I went into the kitchen to prepare myself a quick lunch.

Still chewing on my grilled cheese sandwich, I decided to open all the curtains and windows to let some of the dust out. I turned on my music and continued pilling the books on the shelves. It was almost lunchtime when Cole burst into the room, seeming breathless.

"I have been looking for you everywhere" He stopped panting and looked around the library, eyes wide. "You did this?" I nodded. "All by yourself?" I nodded again. "Wow," I slowly put the book that was in my hand onto the shelf. My back was beginning to hurt from all the lifting I had been doing.

"Did you need to tell me something?"

"Aidan called" My eyes widened in surprise

"So soon?" A smile lit my face. A sliver of hope began to grow in my mind.

"Actually, no" My smile fell. "He called to ask if we had seen the rogues who had taken his pack members." I shrugged my shoulders and leaned down to pick up a few more books. What did I expect from Aidan? For him to come running back to me, arms wide open across a field like in the movies? It was wishful thinking. Stupid wishful thinking. "I'm sorry," He said in a quiet voice.

"It's not your fault" I responded, putting the books onto the shelf. Suddenly I felt really tired, I needed more coffee.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, whatever. I'm fine"

"I know that whenever a girl says this, not to believe her because she is most likely lying." I didn't answer him. "I'm going to ask you again and if you say no I'll leave you alone. Are you okay?" I looked into his eyes as I thought about the answer. Was I okay? After so long, countless days dreaming about my mate only to meet him and only ever get the cold shoulder. The coma. The nightmares. Was I really okay?

Something told me that I'd never really truly be able to love him as much as I would have if he had just accepted me in the first place. There will always be left over hurt because I wasn't his first choice. I wasn't then and I'm not now. Although I understand that his pack members may be more important at the moment, the fact that he didn't even bother to ask for me really hurt. I guess though that I had gotten used to the pain. I guess I had gotten used to the feeling of unwantedness. I guess it was okay to say that I wasn't okay. I wanted a mate. I wanted to feel wanted for at least once in my life.

Was there something wrong with me? Was that why he didn't want me? Why didn't he wait for me? I had waited 4 years and I didn't cheat on him once. Not once had I been kissed by someone other than him. And he didn't even cherish our kisses. He didn't care. I was just a stupid play toy for him. A side girl while his Luna was asleep.

I watched as Cole took two steps closer to me and put his arms around me protectively.

"I know it's hard" He whispered into my hair. "I know" I wrapped my arms around his neck, while his were around my waist and although this was usually considered an intimate hug, it felt warm and natural with him. When I pulled away, I asked him,

"Do you have a mate?" He looked away from me as he answered.

"I did. But she passed away two years ago." My heart melted.

"I'm sorry" We didn't say anything after that, just stood in awkward silence. After a few minutes, he bent down, picked up a book and placed it on the shelf. Looking at the book, I realized that it was in the wrong spot, so I took it off the shelf and placed it further down the shelf where that book would approximately belong.

"Sorry, just trying to help" I picked up a few more books and placed them on the shelf “I guess our situations are different though. I mean, I knew my mate loved me to the very last minute. You, on the other hand, you have yet to feel how much he really does love you."

"Well, there were times when we were close, but they were always in secret and one time the Luna walked in and caught us and he just forgot about me after that. It doesn't matter anymore though, I don't care for him and he doesn't care for me. He doesn’t love me anyway." Cole pursed his lips.

"You love him, and he loves you. You guys just don't know it yet" He smiled softly and left the room, the sound of his shoes clicking on the floor leaving an echo to haunt me. I stood still after that, just listening to the music playing in the background and looking out the window. Slowly I rose to my feet and continued putting the books away.

By the time I finished organizing the books it was getting dark. Somehow, I managed to fit all the books onto the shelves, leaving the ground and the chairs free for sitting and walking. Now that I was done all the hard work, I was able to sit down and relax. A wave of exhaustion took over and I knew I probably shouldn't have done all that work considering that now I wanted to sleep. I made my way down to the kitchen.

In this pack, they had women cook for every meal. You didn't have to eat what they made, but the food they made was good, so why not. I made my way to the kitchen, filled my plate and took the plate of food into the library. On my way there I noticed that my mug of cold coffee was still at the bottom of the stairs, so I picked it up, poured the cold liquid down the drain and put the mug into the dishwasher.

Once I got to the library, I placed my dinner on a table and searched for a book. When I found a few that piqued my interest, I set it in a pile on the table. I sat at a table and took the first book. I was a fast reader and it didn't take me long to finish it. When I finished my dinner, I moved my spot from the desk to a chair that had a view outside, it was dark out but I had pulled a lamp over so I could see the words on the page. I read book after book, losing track of time, trying to distract myself from sleep. At one point I got up to get myself more coffee, but then I hopped back into my window seat. I was lounging in the seat in a very comfortable position and it didn't take me very long to close my eyes forget my intention of staying awake.