A Lady's Worth

An Unseen Darkness

Five Months Later

Lorene’s Perspective

All of society was abuzz with it. War was about to break forth in the colonies.

I listened, but in no way did the talk of war interest me. Indeed, it only went to prove a point that Americans as a whole were a lawless breed and needed to be taught a lesson.

The sad thing though was what the actions of a few lawless ones would do to wreck the lives of so many others.

Even as I was disinterested in the news coming in from across the pond my father was not.

He and I had never been close, not even remotely. He had no influence in my life whatsoever and aside from organizing his many social events for him I had as little to do with him as possible.

In fact, I had often wondered how I had even come from the loins of such a man. In many ways I really didn’t even bear a resemblance to him or any of his ancestors for that matter.

They were as white as could be, but I was not so pale. I had color.

A color of vibrancy that I had always attributed to my French mother, but that said I was even a bit darker than she had been. It didn’t matter, whether my mother had indeed had an affair as was rumored or not things would go on as they had and I would continue to be one of the most highly sought out ladies of all English society and if it was simply because of my admittedly somewhat exotic appearances then so be it.

While I had many suitors the ones I wanted were shut off from me by their royal minded mothers who did take affront at my likely tainted background of ancestry. Those suitors left to me to pick from where the poor ones that simply wanted my father’s wealth and a good-looking wife to lay with to boot.

I had no use for them. There were a few other rich suitors, but I wanted nothing to do with them for other reasons.

I ambled into the study in search of a book and to my surprise, I found my father sitting in a chair. His face was so ashen for a moment that I thought him dead, but then he moved.

When he did the paper in his lap fell to the floor. I glanced at it and read the big bold lettering – ‘War in the American colonies!’.

So it had finally happened. I glanced to father and dry mouthed sounding he said, “I need you to cancel all the parties. Immediately!”

In shock, I stared at him. I had worked very hard to make the plans for the upcoming balls a reality and his words were a complete shock to me.

“Why Papa?”

He tried to speak and then finally stuttered out, “Because we have no money. Gone! All gone now! Wretched colonists!”

He moved unsteadily and hurried over to a row of glass jars filled with alcohol and began sloppily filling himself a glass. My eyes widened as I took in how much alcohol he was already under the influence of.

He wouldn’t be conscious soon if he kept drinking at the rate he was. Going to him I pulled the glass of alcohol down from his lips.

It was a bit of a struggle, but I won because I was actually the stronger of the two of us.

Bleary-eyed, he met my angry gaze and I asked him point-blank, “Why do we not have any money Papa?”

“Because I invested it all in the colonies like an i***t! That’s why! I was assured a great return on my investment and it was beginning to show, but I’ve had to take out loans in the present in order to get by with. So not only are we out of money, but we are very deeply in debt as well. I don’t even rightly own this house anymore!”

I stared at him in shock and let him continue with his drink even as my whole way of life was now completely shattered apart by his actions. Dear God, what was I going to do?

Slamming the glass down my father slurred drunkenly, “You’re going to need to marry and quickly if the house is to be saved.”

Tears coming to my eyes, I glanced at him in a way already hating him, even as I had never liked him, “How many do you think want me now that there’s no fortune to go along with me?”

“What about Lord Cavanaugh? He wants you, he’s told me so himself and he’s one of the wealthiest men in all of England.”

“He is also disgusting, vile and among other sordid things entirely gay in terms of his desire within the human species. He only wants me to act as a cover for him.”

Drunkenly my father slurred, “So? What on earth do you think I used your mother for you dumb chit. Lord Cavanaugh and I go to the same club. I thought you knew.”

Perhaps I had, but I just hadn’t ever wanted to accept the bitter truth. Now I did.

Hot tears, coursing down my cheeks, I said, “So it’s true. You are not my father are you?”

“Goodness no! A blind man could see that! Why your mother had to go out and find herself a half n***o stable hand to copulate with is another. Complete worthless woman she was, being even a bit of a mix herself. I always worried you wouldn’t be presentable in society, but as it is I’ve just gotten by and you have been useful to me. Now you’re going to save me. I will call on Lord Cavanaugh at once and tell him that you’ve accepted his suit of marriage.”

Gritting my teeth I spit out, “To hell with you and Lord Cavanaugh! I will do nothing of the sort! I’d rather kill myself then be joined to that piece of rotting trash and as for doing anything for you well you said it yourself - you’re not my father so why should I do anything for you!”

I went to leave, but he grabbed at my arm desperately. He was angry at me now and in full vitriolic mood he shook a finger in my face and said, “You will do as I say or else it will go much harder for you!”

I ripped my arm free and in the process he fell to the floor. Standing over him I said with a fierceness that I had never seen in him, “No, I will not! I’d rather serve as a maid or an assistant in a town shop and earn my keep than be shacked up with any of the abominations you would choose for me in order to preserve an estate and a worthless name already without honor and one that isn’t even rightly my own! I am leaving you!”

I stormed from the room. He may be without money, but I had been wise enough to save away some and there were things I could sell like my mother’s jewels.

Going swiftly to my room, I began to pack away those items along with a few changes of very modest clothing, clothing that would reflect my new role in life as someone who had to work for a living.

I didn’t mind that. Indeed, I liked to work.

My maid came in and briefly, I shared the gist of what was happening with her and in tears we embraced. Breaking apart, she quickly helped me finish packing.

She rushed from the room with the two cases we had packed together. I chased her down and added one last item, my mother’s Bible.

She then quickly went on her way. Gathering myself, I then went to say goodbye to the one thing I regretted leaving the most, a portrait of my mother.

Kneeling down on the carpet I let myself cry again. So many things weren’t fair right now, but putting all of that aside, I reflected on how hard her life must’ve been.

She had worked so hard to shield me and keep me safe that she had neglected herself and her own needs. I had never quite understood why things had been as they had been until now.

One thing that I did know was that I was not going to end up like her, even if it meant being a slave to earn my own bread for the rest of my life.

I put a hand on a nearby piece of furniture in order to rise up, but a larger hand fell over top of mine, even as another pair wrenched me up to my feet. Gasping, I made to fight, but a blow to the side of my face had my perspective of the world going abruptly dizzy and out of focus.

As if I was somewhere else but still present in some sense, I felt my arms wrenched behind my back and tied off. Blinking, I tried to focus as to what was going on.

There were two men, each one of them now holding me by the arm. One pulled back on my hair sharply and with a gasp of pain my head went backward.

My eyes clearing I saw my father approaching. He was angry, almost frothing at the mouth, “So like your mother you are! May she forever roast in hell! Hell on earth is where I’m now sending you to, you ungrateful little guttersnipe! If you won’t do right by me then by goodness I’ll claim some of my coin back out of your pretty hide in the only way left to me. Take her away!”

A deep sense of fear took hold of me then as I was forcefully led by two strangers out of my own home and thrown into a carriage without windows. What had he done?

Over the next three days I learned the full reality of that question as I waited in a cell deep below the streets of the city awaiting the date of a private auction. My father meant to sell me as a slave.

There was no way to express the bitterness within my soul for what had become my soon to be reality. I spent the first two of the days in the cell crying out in anger and demanding to be let go, only for every protest to fall on deaf uncaring ears. The third day I gave up.

For the first time I accepted the reality that no one was coming to help me. The only chance I had was if God did a miracle on my behalf and abasing myself of all pride I began to pray for that very thing to occur.

Adam’s Perspective

“There’s a woman outside Sir. She’s very insistent that she knows you’re here. I have no clue who she is Sir.”

Looking up at Bart I speculated for a moment as to what to do. How did she know of my whereabouts?

With a warrant out for my arrest and apprehension it wasn’t a comforting thing to know that my location in the city wasn’t as secure as I had thought it was.

Finally coming to a decision, I said “Let her in.”

“Are you sure Sir?” Bart asked doubtfully, to which I gave him a glance that had him quickly packing in the opposite direction.

I remained seated at the desk, maintaining my pose of calmness even as I half waited for the sound of shouts to ring out. If they did the sword across my lap and hidden by the desk would be drawn out and men would die.

I would not go quietly into the night and neither would I serve out the rest of my days in an English hellhole or one of their godforsaken penal colonies. The door of the seller room opened and a middle-aged woman with a persona of timidness about her cautiously stepped into the room.

Upon sight of her I instantly relaxed. This was no spy or pawn of the authorities come to rat me out.

I set my sword on the desk and going forward I gently pulled the shaking woman forward and had her sit down in a chair. Stepping back, I sat down on the front corner of the desk and keeping my tone conversational I asked, “How can I be of service to you Madam. I have to confess to being alarmed that someone knows of my whereabouts in the city.”

“Oh master don’t be alarmed as to that! My Timmy, he crews for you and well don’t be harsh with him, but he told me that if ever I was in trouble to be coming here for sanctuary. Seeing that you’re a wanted man I had hoped that I’d find you here. No one else knows of this location I swear it on my belief in Jesus!”

“You shouldn’t swear on His Name.” I said gently.

“Oh, I know I shouldn’t! God forgive me, but I…. I need……” The woman dissolved into tears.

I waited patiently for her to continue. Finally she glanced up at me, “Something horrible has happened!”

I nodded in an effort to encourage her to go on.

“I’ve served for a number of years to a very fine lady. A very fine lady indeed and well, you know her too.”

My eyebrows rose, “I do?”

“Yes, I believe it was several months back at a party hosted by Lord Ellsworth that you attended.”

Abruptly I stood up and the woman flinched backward from me visibly.

Gaining control and forcing myself to sit back down on the edge of the desk, I made myself calmly ask the woman, “Are you referring to Lady Lorene Ellsworth, the Lord’s daughter?”

“Yes, I am. You see I was there. I was there on the veranda when you um…. approached my lady.”

I looked down. Well, this was embarrassing.

Looking up I asked, “Why are you here?”

“Lord Ellsworth because of the war in the colonies breaking out, well he’s lost everything overnight. He demanded that my Mistress marry at once in order to secure the finances to stay afloat and she denied him.”

“She would.” I mused out loud.

“Aye, that she did, but neither of us saw what Lord Ellsworth was capable of. He’s not even her father when it comes down to it, which explains so much to me. I mean, how could such a man as he father the likes of her, a lady in every way.”

Insistently I pressed, “What has he done?”

“He sold her! Or I should say he put her up for sale.”

I was on my feet again, “What?!” I exclaimed in disbelief, but the woman nodded her head again as she was once again all tears.

Coming out of her chair she fell to her knees and grabbing at one of my hands, she blubbered out, “Please do something Sir! You’re the only hope that she has. She’s a good lady, Sir! I swear it to you! She’s been nothing but kindness to me and all the staff. I…. she does not deserve the likes of what’s about to befall her. My Timmy, he says you’re a good man and I beg you Sir! I… I saw the regard you have for my lady and for her to be your woman I think is the best of all outcomes right now.”

Pulling the older woman up, gently I helped her sit back down in her chair.

“The sale?” I pressed.

“Tonight, she’s going in the first lot to be sold tonight. That’s all I could find out Sir.”

I nodded and she volunteered, “I have her bags in the cart outside. She was in the process of fleeing when they caught her.”

Bart the silent spectator to all of this caught my eye and shook his head vehemently, “You know you can’t Adam! The boat will stay no longer than the first hour of the morning by your own orders! Sir, you have to be on it! You’ve got no time to be rescuing damsels in distress Sir. I know you’ve got a great bleeding heart in your chest, but this is no time to be letting it think for you.”

“Each of us in life can only be what it is that we are and if I being who I was created to be miss the boat come morning, then so be it. Have the ladies luggage stowed away in the rowboat.”

“But……”

“Now Bart!”

Bart quickly left the room to do as ordered.

Going behind the desk, I pulled open a drawer, “You’re without a job now. Here, take this and thank you for your courage to come seek me out and do your lady a final service.”

Going to her I pressed a heavy bag of coins into her hand. Instead of taking the coins she took my hand again.

Looking up at me imploringly she pressed, “You’ll take good care of her in America won’t you?”

“Yes, you have my word.”

She nodded with the appearance of one whose had a prayer answered and then took the bag of coins. I saw her up and to the door.

She hesitated upon going through it. Looking back, she said with a flush to her face, “My lady truly is a good one as I perceive you to be yourself, Sir, but I know she can be a bit of a…. full of her own notions to say the least at times. You may well have to do with your hand upon her bare bottom even as you threatened to do on the veranda.”

Amused, I said, “I’m sure that I will likely have to at some point, but if it’s out of concern for her you speak, I assure you that I’m not one into causing pain for the sake of any personal pleasure derived from it.”

“Oh no Sir, I can see that! I’m just warning you, Sir, that’s all.”

“I appreciate the advice.”

“One last thing, as I well know your interest in my lady, is to say that I know for a fact that she is as virgin as they come despite whatever forward demeanor she may present herself to you in. There’s been no man to lay claim to her and well, I thought you’d like to know that.”

“Thank you and do not worry about your son. He’s already in America and I have him working in a part of the business that shouldn’t see him put into much dangerous action in regards to the current struggle for independence.”

Leaning up, she gave me a kiss on the cheek as with more tears she said, “Bless you Sir! I know I’ve done the right thing.” Then she hurried off.

When she was gone from sight, I went about getting ready. Through all my actions there reverberated one single emotion above all the rest and it was anger.

A society such as this needed to be burnt to the ashes from the top down. As it was I quietly prayed that I’d be successful in keeping one more moth away from the flames of its rapacious greediness for innocence.