Rise of Luna Chandria

CHAPTER 38 : Blamed

Brittany. ‘How on earth?’

“Let’s go Chandria,” Celestine uttered, and Falcon carried me out of the room.

As our eyes met, there was nothing but…

Hatred.

“Leave us alone, Falcon. I’ll take care of her, thank you.” Celestine gently helps me stand after Falcon put me down.

To my shock, I didn’t notice that we were in my room already.

“Chandria, you should’ve fought,” Celestine commented as long as I was able to sit on the mattress. She started removing the bandage on me, as it was tainted by blood already.

“Calista has been always a war freak since she was a kid and….”

“Rosa has a daughter?” I asked cutting her off. She stops what her doing and looks me in the eyes. She heaved a deep sigh and smiled a bit, “Yeah. She said, she throws her out in the human world so she would have a different destiny. She even told me that she was gaining all her strength and courage to meet her and tell her that she’s mother…”

That’s the reason why she was prepared to live in the city.

“But…”

“It didn’t happen because of me. Because I steal that time from her.” I cut her off and continued.

“Chandria don’t say that…”

Guilt started eating me, I just stopped a mother and daughter supposed to be a reunion.

“They weren’t able to see each other, savor the moment that Rosa was still alive, because…”

“Of me.”

“If I didn’t ask for her help if I didn’t beg her that day. Then Britanny probably met her.” A warm liquid started cascading down my cheeks.

“Sssh. Don’t blame yourself Chandria. It wasn’t your fault, things just happened coincidentally like that, and luck is not on our side. The only person we must blame and not forgive is the Alpha of the Silver Mist Pack. He killed Rosa.” No matter how her words fired me up, or how soothing it is to convince me, delinquency started making its way into my entire system.

“P-Please leave me alone for a moment, Celestine.”

She looks at me worriedly, “are you sure?”

I only nod and flex my legs on the mattress. “ P-Please.”

“Alright, I’m just down there. And you could call me anytime, I’ll check with you later, okay? You should rest, don’t think much… It’s not your fault.”

As I heard the door close, another batch of tears make their way out, with my mind and heart both clouded by sadness and guilt. It feels painful more than being kicked out of the mansion or being jailed because at that time I don’t have any burden of guilt within me, I didn’t do anything wrong.

I don’t know how I was able to sleep like that. Days passed by and I didn’t go out of my room, I was ashamed to get out there and face the people who were close to Rosa’s heart. Celestine kept on checking out on me and bringing me meals. But today…

Today is Rosa’s burial.

And at least, at this moment I wanted to see her once more because I will never …forever.

“Are you sure you want to go out now, Chandria?” Celestine asked again.

I just nod, I can’t manage to let out a small smile even a fake one. My heart was in grief, and it’s harder when you mourn with guilt within.

“Don’t worry, I won’t leave your side. Calista has been forbidden to attend the burial today, she might attack you again. Your wounds were already healing, it wouldn’t be good for you if it will be open again if you shoot into a fight again.”

Celestine has many more reminders that my mind can’t even process. All I think right now is, I wanted to give Rosa a tight hug. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was.

When we arrived at the burial, everyone is wearing black, and their loud sobs and cries were filling the space.

I slowly near her casket, not minding their glares towards me as I slowly took their attention. Britanny was hugging Rosa’s portrait and crying in despair.

“Today was our beloved Rosa’s burial.” Bryant started the ceremony.

“And we will be all grateful to have her in our pack, she may not be a pure-blooded Black Stygian member, but she serves and has been loyal to us like one. Rosa, you will always be remembered especially for these people who you gave light to when darkness started to succumb to them.”

My eyes landed on Alpha Priam who was blankly staring at the coffin. He doesn’t have any emotion on his face but his eyes, it tells like he lost a mother too. And he was blaming himself that he didn’t do a thing about it.

Shifting my gaze back at Rosa, the interment has been next to process. They started moving their coffin on the shoveled ground. My knees started to be weakened… but a tough arm supported me to not slumping on the dirty field.

It was Falcon.

“Chandria are you alright?” Celestine asked and helped me stand up. I shook my head.

“I will never be alright, C-Celestine.” I shot back, as I watch how the white casket slowly vanished and sunk into the deep soil, my heart descends too.

Everyone started to leave, but I just sat on the chair in front of Rosa’s grave. I wanted to talk to her.

“Chandria, let’s go,” Celestine uttered.

“P-Please I want to stay with her for a couple of minutes more,” I replied in a low voice.

“Chandria, the clouds were dark. Rain might burst out in a few minutes. You’ll get wet, your wound…”

“It’s okay, Celestine. I can manage.” I gave her a little smile of assurance, to convince her. I need peace and silence with Rosa.

“A-Alright…” I could still feel her concern, but she left after that. Now that I have the opportunity to talk to Rosa, I tried my best to walk toward her without falling but that was impossible. I just found myself crawling towards her and kneeling in front of her tomb.

“I-I’m sorry Rosa.” I tried to suppress any sobs to escape my lips with my hand, but I cannot. I whimpered in pain as the heavy rain started to burst out too. It was like the clouds understands the heavy agony within me, and it was sympathizing with me.

“I-I’m sorry I beg you that day, you should’ve told me! You should be selfish that day! You shouldn’t have pitied me, and let me steal that life. Then probably…”

“You’re now with her, and … alive.” I barely make a word, but I still wanted her to hear my thoughts. How regretful and sorry I was.

“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered until I heard slow footsteps nearing me, I’m drenched in the rain, but I didn’t bother to take a glance at who it was.

“Your sorry won’t be able to bring back my mother’s life, Sierra.”