A Trip Abroad

INSERT 3

Sydney Renea Mkhize

“Shy”

.

The drive back to the town is silent. She's resting on the passenger seat looking passively out of the window. She's probably thinking again… she does that a lot.

Her braids aren't tied to a pony today and she is wearing my black hoodie. It looks big on her but it's beautiful. We've done a lot of these trips before, to the cabin and back. And it was mostly to spend time with each other and move away from the university and everyone at eastbay. But our stay is always short lived because we are needed in the town.

My hand reaches over to caress her thigh, she raises her head and I always, always notice how she's holding in her tears. Lisa doesn't like it when we separate and the palm tree as we enter the town is a symbol of that. It's a notice that here, in these parts, we're merely ghost figures to each other. I drive up the hill to her complex and I park my car near the gate and take a deep sigh. We're here.

“Hey mama, we'll be fine, okay?” I say as a way to assure her. To let her know that I feel as sad about this as she does. She nods and takes out her keys from the purse.

“Thank you for getting me home safe.”

That's all she says and then gets out of the car. I watch her as she opens her complex gate and walks inside. I can't see anything beyond the wooden gate obstructing the view.

I take a deep sigh and drive the car to my house on the other side of the town.

It's a different atmosphere as I enter the house to the smell of mutton stew mixed with the scent of lit candles around the entrance. Richard's cooking again. He does that on Sundays.

I enter the kitchen and there he is wearing a black apron chopping a cabbage.

“Hey, you're back! How was it?”

My mind races to think about the lie I told him as a cover-up.

“Hey, I am.” I smile and land a soft kiss on his cheek. I can smell his aftershave. “Well, I need to send some maintenance guys up there because the water enters one of the bedrooms from the patio. And also get them to build me a backyard and a braai area for when you get over your fear of the woods.”

He knows I take trips to check how the cabin is doing because no one stays up there and Richard hates the woods. He doesn't like secluded places hence we stay in the estate.

“It is a security risk for a vice chancellor to stay at a cabin where the nearest hospital is hours away. You don't even have a network up there!” I release a soft laugh while taking a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Security risk isn't a valid excuse to not see your own wife's cabin. You'd love it.” I drink and he looks at me with a smile.

“I love you and whatever I say is a valid excuse!”

“That doesn't even make sense!” I burst out in laughter.

“But love, think about it. I'm a Xhosa man and there's only one time in our lives that we go ehlathini and that's it. Le yakho nothanda amahlathi? It's not in my love and if I didn't know you, I'd say it makes you look very suspicious.”

“But baby, it'll be a one time thing and we can go during the day…”

He looks at me for a bit then shakes his head.

“Absolutely not love. I can't even promise that I might change my mind about it.” He shrugs his shoulders and smiles. “But you enjoy it. I can see it is dear to you”

I nod.

“And that's all that matters. That you're happy. Oh! Talking about happiness, your office phone has been ringing non-stop, I tried to answer it but the person would just breathe and not say anything.” He shrugs his shoulders as a wave of wonder mixed with worry showers over me and my forehead curls.

“Let me go check on it and leave you to cook.”

“Okay. I invited Andy to join us for lunch. I didn't think you'd make it back in time and I was dreading eating alone,” he says.

Andy is our gardener and lives in Wendy house at the back.

“Oh okay, no problem. I'll shower first too, so you might want to start without me anyway.”

I exit the kitchen as he plays his jazz on the speaker. I walk to my home office upstairs and close the door.

I sit on my chair and check the phone for voicemails and there's nothing.

I call the number back and it rings for a bit before the person on the other side answers.

“Hello.”

There's no answer. But there's someone, I'm sure of that. I can hear them breathing.

“Hello, you called my phone. Who's this?”

They take a deep sigh.

“Hi,” the voice says softly.

“Yes, who's it?”

“It's me, meala.”

Confusion washes over me.

“Is this a prank?”

“Sydney, it's me. This is not a prank and please do not drop the call!” The voice speaks so clearly. My heart immediately pounds hard against my ribcage as my stomach sinks. It can't be. It cannot be.

“You remember me, right?” she says.

“It can't be!” I answer out loud as shock triggers tears and my heart clenches in pain as a strong flashback unravels itself in my head.

“It's me. Khira. I've been trying to get ahold of you. They told me you left your home country and you married a man. I'm sorry to say this over the phone but I….”

My shock doesn't allow me to let her finish. I slam the phone down ending the call.

Khira died. She was stoned to death while I held her crying mother in my arms.

The air is forcefully taken out of my lungs as I gasp for air. I pull the framed photo of Richard and I apart and take out the one hidden behind it — the princess of Saudi and I standing outside her father's palace in Riyadh while holding hands. Richard doesn't know that part of my life. No one else does except for me and the people that were there. No one knows that I am banned in Saudi Arabia.

The memories of the kingdom hit my mind like a waterfall as I am forced to remember what broke me. I fall down from the chair and hug myself in a childlike position holding the picture. Tears warm my face as the flashbacks flood every single part of me that I remember, even the smell of the place.