Chapter 20
1196 Words
TALLULAH TULLE: It's that time of the year again! The days just fly. In a few minutes we'll be bringing you our live coverage of the Hunger Games parade.
[TURNS TO PARTNER]
TALLULAH: What do you think we'll be seeing this year?
PRIAM STEED: I'm really excited to see Ten. Phoebe is still pretty new, and I'll bet she'll want to show she's not the same as Filay.
TALLULAH: Here they come! [PAUSE] Why is he an angel? He's a Career.
PRIAM: He's Icarus! Don't you know your history? And he is a fine fallen angel.
TALLULAH: [LAUGHS] his halo is broken!
PRIAM: Icarus' wings were made of wax.
TALLULAH: They couldn't do that for Blake. Her name is Blake. She still looks pretty, though. One is always good. All those jewels.
PRIAM: Who needs eyeliner when you can used crushed sapphires?
TALLULAH: My rating: 9/10
PRIAM: Mmmm... Blake could have been more creative. 8/10
PRIAM: Ember looks ready for action! I thought they were doing a leather warrior thing, but that's armor! You can hardly see her under than helmet. She's as tough and mysterious as a Peacekeeper.
TALLULAH: She better watch out with that mace. She's going to knock her brother off the chariot.
PRIAM: That's nice that they match. It's always heartwarming to see siblings that are so close.
TALLULAH: Everyone knows I don't like matching outfits. They're so lazy. They're nicely made outfits, but I wanted to see more. 6/10
PRIAM: Honey, you're such a drag. 10/10 everyone!
TALLULAH: Randustus-
PRIAM: That is such a mouthful. Call him Randy.
TALLULAH: Randy is a robot. Randy the Robot. I think I read a book about that once.
PRIAM: Oh my gosh! Randy the Robot is out! Look at that!
TALLULAH: Is her outfit made of holograms?
PRIAM: I don't care. Look at those drawings! She probably did those herself.
TALLULAH: If those are holograms, is she naked?
PRIAM: Get your mind out of the gutter and look at those drawings!
TALLULAH: This is why I took this job. 10/10
PRIAM: 1000/10!
TALLULAH: Always gotta be higher than me.
PRIAM: I don't get it.
TALLULAH: Simple can be good, but if you're going to due a unitard for Four, shouldn't it be blue?
PRIAM: He looks like a sourpuss. So does Alex.
TALLULAH: They don't seem to like each other very much. They're scrunched against the sides of the chariot.
PRIAM: Hers is boring too. At least she gets a dress. 2/10
TALLULAH: You got that right. 2/10. That's too bad. I like Four.
TALLULAH: [RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]
PRIAM: [RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]
TALLULAH: He's... [WHEEZING LAUGHTER] He's a power line! [LAUGHTER]
PRIAM: From the [LAUGHTER] power District! [PANTING BREATH]
TALLULAH: Tullia has a glowing silver shirt and Scott [DEEP BREATH] is a power line.
PRIAM: One average and one... not average. 7/10 for silliness.
TALLULAH: I just can't. 5/10
PRIAM: That's not nice.
TALLULAH: They do have a lot of addicts.
PRIAM: This is the Transportation District, not the Bottle of Pills District.
TALLULAH: Hemi looks nice.
PRIAM: Transportation District, not Nursing District.
TALLULAH: Maybe she drives an ambulance.
PRIAM: That's cheating.
TALLULAH: Maybe you need to open your mind.
PRIAM: Maybe yours is so open it fell out. 1/10
TALLULAH: My turn to be higher. 4/10
PRIAM: Now this one I can get behind!
TALLULAH: Because he's not wearing a shirt?
PRIAM: You know it.
TALLULAH: They went all out for Maple. Is she summer, winter, and autumn?
PRIAM: Green hair, orange and red makeup and shirt, icy blue pants. I'd say you're right.
TALLULAH: Commendable. 9/10, would have been higher with more clothes for Splinter.
PRIAM: 9/10, would have been higher with more baby oil on Splinter.
TALLULAH: She's a sewing needle.
PRIAM: Sew what?
TALLULAH: Sew that's boring. How do you make textiles boring?
PRIAM: They do it like every year.
TALLULAH: Why is Weft wearing nothing but coils of steel wool?
PRIAM: Does that count as fabric? That's just one big ball of itch.
TALLULAH: He won't have any skin left if he keeps on like that.
PRIAM: This has been one of the weirder things I've seen on this job. 5/10
TALLULAH: Not pretty at all. 3/10
TALLULAH: OMG! Keison's suit is grain! So witty! So cutting-edge!
PRIAM: Boring.
TALLULAH: I don't think he likes it either. Not as bad as Hosanna, though. She's all crunched up behind the chariot front.
PRIAM: Because she's wearing two sunflower seeds and some pasties.
TALLULAH: It's practically a swimsuit. It's not that bad.
PRIAM: She looks like they put on the underpants and forgot the overpants. 2/10
TALLULAH: At least they're both made of grain. 4/10
PRIAM: I don't get it.
TALLULAH: I don't think I'm smart enough to get it. There's some blue, some leather... why is there blood on her face?
PRIAM: I like Orland. He's a bullfighter. A half-shirtless bullfighter. I need the bull to finish the job.
TALLULAH: What, gore his chest open?
PRIAM: I don't like that much skin.
TALLULAH: 6/10 because Mati looks so excited and she's waving so hard.
PRIAM: 5/10 because I have literally no idea what Mati's outfit deserves. Call me a philistine.
TALLULAH: I see this from Nine a lot, but not usually Eleven. An entirely fruit suit. Nice.
PRIAM: CHA-CHA-CHA!
TALLULAH: That must be a very heavy hat.
PRIAM: No one will steal that fruit. There's a scarecrow right next to it.
TALLULAH: He's not very scary. He looks kind of cute.
PRIAM: The hair's kind of scary. It looks like a bomb went off.
TALLULAH: I like this one. 10/10!
PRIAM: I could just eat her up. 10/10
PRIAM: Oh, wow. A coal miner.
TALLULAH: Simply stunning.
PRIAM: Oh, wow. Atro's dressed in black. Like coal.
TALLULAH: Why is he trying to look like a gangster?
PRIAM: What's a gangster?
TALLULAH: OMG don't you know your history?
PRIAM: You've been waiting all this time to say that.
TALLULAH: Victory is sweet. But not these costumes. 0/10
PRIAM: 2/10 ha I was higher.
PRIAM: Best and worst time.
TALLULAH: Best: Scarlett. Worst: Alex and Steve.
PRIAM: Best: Lisette. Worst: Volvo.
TALLULAH: And winner predictions. Me, I think Icarus has this one.
PRIAM: I think Ember will burn the brightest.
TALLULAH: Finally, the whole parade. I'd give it a 7/10. At least it kept us guessing.
PRIAM: Averaging out all my scores, adjusting for creativity and fashion, calibrating for changes in culture... ha just kidding. 8/10 because I feel like it.
[THEY TURN TO AUDIENCE]
TALLULAH: Next up: the stylists! Who was the best? Who was a hot mess? What does Phoebe Vane have to say about her first few years? Does Mint really hate Tigris' guts? All this and more, after these messages.
Polyphemus was doing a wonderful job and still is, but it always used to bug me to have him describe the outfits. They're on television. Is he describing for a radio play? I don't think there are radio plays in Panem. Also I was running out of fresh narration, so the duo at ParadeParazzi took over this time. Maybe I'll go back and forth, I don't know. I'm pretty capricious.
- Writer
