A WHIRLWIND OF COLOR

32

But not as beautiful as James. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. It made more tears come. Had I made a mistake by running? The memory of James’ broken sobs made me cry harder. I knew I hadn’t. I knew getting out of New York City was the right thing to do. So why was I crying?

“Penny? Jesus, what happened? What’s wrong?”

I didn’t care who he was. He knew me. Or at least, a version of me. And I was almost out of gas. I had no phone. Nowhere to sleep. No food. No money. And no pawnshop to trade the watch I had stolen for cash. It felt like we were supposed to run into each other today. He had to help me. I didn’t have anyone else to turn to. “I need your help.”

“Of course. Whatever you need. Is James here too?” He looked over my shoulder like he was waiting for James to appear.

“No.” I shook my head. “And he can’t know that I’m here. Please, don’t tell him.”

“Why? What happened?”

“I just need some cash. If you write down your name and address I can repay you as soon as I get settled. I touched my shoulder, for some reason thinking a purse had magically appeared there. But I only had my duffel bag and I knew for a fact that I didn’t pack a pen or notepad. “I don’t have a pen or paper. But if you have a pen, you could write it on my hand. I swear I’ll pay you back. I promise.”

He just stared at me.

“I have a good memory. You could just tell me. I promise I’ll give you back every penny. I just…I need to get to California. A few hundred dollars should…”

“What the hell is in California?”

“A fresh start. Please, if we’re friends…”

“If? Penny, look at me.”

I tried to remember. Despite what everyone thought, I had been trying to remember this whole time. But all I saw was a stranger. He was the exact opposite of James. His hair was light instead of dark. His skin was much tanner. And he was rugged looking, instead of sophisticated. A five o’clock shadow covered his jaw line and it was hard to look away from his sharp features. I blinked. But I had no freaking clue who he was. “I don’t remember you.”

His Adam’s apple rose and fell as he studied me. “I’m going to call James. He needs…”

“You can’t.” I grabbed his arm and took a deep breath. “Please, you can’t. I don’t want to go back to New York. I can’t go back there.”

“Penny…”

“I don’t love him. I’m not…I can’t. Please don’t make me go back to him.”

He studied me for a moment, like he was trying to determine if I was telling the truth. “Okay.”

I locked eyes with him. “Okay? You’ll give me the money?”

“No, I’m not giving you money to flee to California. You can stay with me.”

I stared at him. He had light brown hair. Not dirty blonde, but close. Age changed people. And he wasn’t really looking at me like just a friend. He was looking at me like he truly cared. Like maybe at one point we were something more than just friends. Tyler. This had to be him. I breathed a sigh of relief. I could trust him. I knew it. I could feel it in my bones.

Sometimes fate had a funny way of working out. It made me get back onto I-95. It made me come to Newark. It made me walk around campus for just the right amount of time, because then I ran into him. Maybe this was my second chance at doing things right. Tyler had clearly been the right choice for me all along. Melissa had even said so. Now I got to fix everything.

“Do you promise you won’t call James?” I asked.

“We can discuss that once you get settled in.”

“I’m not coming with you unless you promise.” I knew I was being juvenile. But I had bit back the pinky swear promise line from coming out of my mouth.

“Fine. I promise I won’t call your husband. If that’s really what you want, Penny. But you have to tell me what’s going on. Are you in some sort of trouble? After everything that happened, I never imagined you’d run off by yourself. Isn’t the man that hurt you still out there?”

I don’t know. My stomach growled. I hadn’t eaten since I had picked at my dinner with James. “I’ll tell you everything if you buy me lunch.”

He laughed. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll cook us something.”

He was handsome and could cook? Why had I not chosen him all those years ago? I was clearly messed up in the head. Who knew that losing my memory was the only way to set me straight?

Saturday

“So you really don’t remember anything?” he asked.

I took another bite of steak and shrugged. “Nope. Nothing. And honestly, I think it’s for the best. That whole life seemed…stifling. I couldn’t bear to be there for another second. That’s why I left.”

“And you came here. It’s where you and James met. Do you think you were drawn here because of that?”

“No, not at all. I came here because being on campus was the last thing I remembered. I think a small part of me thought everything would go back to normal if I came here. But obviously I was wrong. There was also the issue of not having any money. And of course I stole a car with less than half a tank of gas. It’s pretty much empty right now. Which is why I asked to borrow money from you.”

“But you can’t seriously be willing to leave your family. Let me take you back home.”

“God, they might technically be my family, but they don’t feel like my family. What if I made a mistake all those years ago? What if I was never supposed to marry James? I feel like I’ve been given a second chance at the life I want.”

“And what kind of life is it that you want?”