Trials of a Romance

CHAPTER TWO

Bryan looks so worried already. Why is she stuttering? She is sluggish and not confident with her words, and he fears that the answer he expected is not forthcoming.

“I just don’t want to go into any relationship Bryan”. She said, giving him a sorry look. Bryan gradually shifts his hand to his side. He is utterly disappointed. Bryan had imagined the night would be romantic, that he would call his mom by morning to tell her he now has a girlfriend, and she is a beauty to behold, and also a lovely soul and he cannot wait to show his sweetheart to her. He bends his head for a while, lifts it slowly, and looks directly at her.

“Why babe? Is it me? Am I not enough? Did I do something wrong? Talk to me, I promise to do something. What is the problem, babe?”

“Relax, oh my God, just relax Bryan,” she says, holding his hands."It is not you alright, you are a gentleman, a sweet soul that any woman would want, but I am not just ready Bryan. I do not want to get into any relationship right now".

“Why don’t you want a relationship Justina? At least tell me why you don’t want to be with me?”. He is confused and not satisfied with her responses.

“Bryan, I am not ready. I like you so much, but I can’t get my heart into a relationship.”

“This is not fair, Justina.” His voice breaks down." You are not treating me right, how do you love me and still don’t want to be with me.. how Justina? How?".

She reaches out for his hand, and this time he withdraws it while looking very disappointed. “I do not know how to tell it to you. I do not know how to say it, so you can’t just understand, love, but try to understand that I don’t want to get involved for now.” She responds.

It is 10 pm. Bryan was in his sitting room, occupied with so many thoughts. Why is she being so secretive? Is Justina engaged or even married? Is there an ex-boyfriend still hanging around? Or Is she still having PTSD from her past relationship? And so many other questions that are begging for answers fill his head. What happened at the restaurant was the opposite of what Bryan had imagined. He could not believe that Justina would not be driving home with him. Bryan has planned so many things like an after-party with a few of his friends and neighbors, and above all had hoped for a heavily romantic night. He falls on his back, puts his leg on the table and stares at the ceiling with his face showing tiredness. Bryan stares at the ceiling for over thirty minutes and stands up at a fast speed. He has to talk to someone or he will lose his mind. He picks up his phone and dials a number.

“Hello Mom, how are you, how are you doing?” He speaks with his phone to his ear, staring out his window.

“My sweet Bryan,” his mother replies with an affectionate voice, “how are you, baby? You haven’t called since last time and I was getting worried”

Bryan clears his throat. “There is nothing to worry about mom, I am ok, everything is fine. How is your arm? Is it healing?”

“Common boy, you already know the answer to that, but, love, are you ok? You don’t sound well”.

He walks back and sits on the biggest chair in the sitting room, with the still to his ear, stretches his leg on the same chair and lets out some air from his mouth.

“Mom, I feel down,” he speaks with a very weak voice." I took this girl, this pretty damsel on a date and..”

He tells her everything that has happened. How he met Justina, her qualities and fascinating features, the date night, and how she refused his proposal and left him with no justifiable reason for the rejection. The conversation goes on for some hours until it is about 1 am. He now feels better after hearing his mother speak. He stands up from the chair, grabs the mug on the table, and walks into his room to rest ahead of the day’s activities.

Justina, since the date, has not felt so relaxed. She cannot get over the entire experience as different thoughts come in. In this hour, she wishes she had said something else, and agreed to his proposal, and in another hour, she convinces herself that she made the right decision, and that rejecting his proposal was necessary despite that she is in love with him. Justina has many admirers, also willing to do anything to feel her soft cheeks and have her as a lover. They still bug her phone, even after the date, but Bryan is on her mind. Justina does not want to lose him, but she cannot seem to keep him, even as available as he is. She tries convincing herself that not being romantically involved with Bryan will help her not to repeat what has made her so cold towards the relationship. She is at work but not fully concentrated. What is Bryan doing right now? Has he moved on? Is there another woman with him? She feels instantly jealous. The thought of Bryan going on another date with another woman, and possibly rubbing each other’s palm while smiling seductively at each other, breaks her down. It is over a week, and the thought of Bryan is fresh every morning. She has spoken to friends, each with their own opinions, but most are convincing her to give Bryan a call. She wishes this phase of her and Bryan came first before any of her experiences.

Bryan is so busy at work, as this time of the year is one contract after another. He decides to always be present at his company, to help him get over the whole Justina saga. But has it worked? Bryan still has Justina somewhere in his heart, no matter how much he convinces himself that he no longer sees her as before. He knows within himself that he has not given up on her. He dreams of them getting together on a date, sometimes taking a walk while lusting after each other, or they are on the bed keeping each other warm. The thought of calling her crosses his mind so many times, but he aggressively flings it away. He feels Justina has someone she is in a relationship with, or is better not disturbed, as she has not called him as well. The feeling is still alive, and painful as it is, does not want it to die. Spending more time in his company is helping him manage his mental health, and focus more on other schedules.

Bryan is done with work for the day and heads out to a bar, just a few kilometers from the company. He is drinking scotch, and watching a football match on the television placed in front of him, as the thought of calling Justina flashes again. Surprisingly, he does not fling it immediately, rather, Bryan ponders. Why don’t I just call her? Will any damage happen? He thinks. But calling her may bring back those memories and cause him to break down again. He contemplates and puts all doubts aside as he picks up his phone.

Justina is at home in her sitting room after a busy day. As she sips her coffee, she does what she concluded at work. Justina planned to call Bryan later in the evening. She just wants to hear him speak and is uncertain about what might happen later, but she is making that call. Justina stands up from the chair, breathes in and out, and walks around the house, as her heart beats faster. She returned to her chair, stretched her hand to ease the anxiety, and just as she was about to pick up her phone, it rang.

Bryan adjusts himself on the long chair and loses his tie, as he waits for Justina to pick up the call.

“Hello, hello, Bryan, is that you?” Justina's voice comes up.

“Oh yeah, Justina.. umm, yeah it is I.. how are you, how are you doing?” His voice is shaky.

Their conversation goes on for a long time. They discuss how much they have missed each other, and how they never stopped thinking about each other. It is more like confessions and re-affirmations. The conversation takes a new turn, as Bryan asks Justina if she has reconsidered her stance and will want to give love another chance with him. To his surprise, Justina suggests another date. Bryan cannot believe what is happening, as this is a sign. She has reconsidered and might be his lover. Bryan is full of joy. He immediately drops a pound note on the table and runs out excitedly to his car. He gets home, flings himself on the bed, and with a big smile, gazes at the ceiling. Another date? Their love is now heading somewhere, and it is like he should spin the hands of time because he cannot wait to behold Justina’s beauty. After many happy thoughts and imaginations, he goes to sleep smiling.

It is date night. Bryan is dressed so exquisitely that he can pass for a groom. He books a VIP section at a very luxurious restaurant. Just like the first date, there is a romantic atmosphere and Bryan is impatient to meet with Justina; the love of his life. Justina arrives. She is as attractive as ever, her dress is well-fitting to her body and her curvy shape is a sight to behold. The date goes on well, each telling their experiences after the first date. Laughter, romantic gestures, and words are the highlight of their night. They are both quiet, staring at each other with huge smiles on their faces. Bryan clears his throat, and as he is about to speak, Justina leans her hand and starts rubbing his cheeks with the top of her fingers. She lingers and is closer to him as she bends her face towards his ear, then she whispers with a gentle voice “I will be your girlfriend, Bryan, I also want this to be forever, I am yours, love”.

Justina is in her home, sitting on her cushion with a glass of drink in her hands. She is contemplating deeply on a particular decision, as she leans forward, drops the cup on the table, and with a low voice, she mutters “I have to tell him, I love him and I do not care, he has to know. I have to tell him”